<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>that won't stop me just so you know by yellows27th</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24269581">that won't stop me just so you know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellows27th/pseuds/yellows27th'>yellows27th</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TWICE (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Sports, F/F, Fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:48:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>52,523</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24269581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellows27th/pseuds/yellows27th</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mina grows insecure yet again and Nayeon is there to assure Mina that she’s everything that she could ever ask for.</p><p>(or Mina runs and Nayeon chases her - literally every morning jog.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Im Nayeon/Myoui Mina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>347</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. it's not so bad after all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm late to the Weightlifting Fairy party but here we are! It's my first fic about TWICE and minayeon. Anyways, it's a fic that's inspired by the drama. Let's see where this goes hehe</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Im Nayeon is a promising star of the soccer field – skilled and agile yet she’s running to chase the time in large sweat bullets running down her forehead.</p><p>
  <em>An hour and a half, Nayeon.</em>
</p><p>Traffic was bad. Sure, Nayeon would have woken up earlier to avoid the morning rush in the streets but there are things that Nayeon can’t have control of, like when she arrives at the field and her teammates are in the middle of a scrimmage with each other and she’s left to pacify their red blob coach at the side.</p><p>He's at his limit (over even beyond that) today, looking like he's also been shouting at the team. She could be the only reason why or she could be one of the many problems her coach has to juggle with.</p><p>“I can exp-“</p><p>Nayeon shuts her mouth and nods along to the wrath of words being spit at her, “We don’t want a fucking explanation, Nayeon! What <em>we </em>want is that you show dedication and discipline just like the others! Just because you scored the team to victory during the last game doesn't mean you have a free pass to run late! Is this what an athlete is supposed to be? <em>Is this who you’re going to be?!</em>” </p><p>Being scolded and yelled at is nothing new to Nayeon, seeing her coach’s face puff up and turn red out of anger is nothing new to her. Typically, he’s being overdramatic and pulling the <em>this-isn’t-how-you-should-act </em>card on her. She takes all of his rage until Jeongyeon comes up to them and says, “Chaeyoung needs a substitute so – yeah, I’m taking Nayeon with me.”</p><p>Nayeon gets dragged to the field where the rest of her teammates are – all sweaty and tired from playing and passing the ball around the field. The scrimmage is on the second half.</p><p>“Thanks for saving my ass there, Yoo.” Nayeon pats Jeongyeon on her shoulder which the midfielder instead returns with a strong flick on the forehead.</p><p>“Hey that hurts!” </p><p>“Glad it does. You’re treating me to dinner later, got it?” </p><p>Nayeon rolls her eyes. Typical Yoo Jeongyeon. “Yeah, whatever.” </p><p>The star joins the game naturally. A ball is passed to her direction and intercepts it with her foot driving it towards the goal. It’s simple as writing her name down, counting from one to whatever number, soccer plays a big part of Nayeon and despite running late and being scolded at for countless of times now, Nayeon still works as hard. </p><p>This isn’t about her anymore.</p><p>Nayeon would run back and forth, train hours until the break of dawn, until she’s sure that everything won’t break. </p><p> </p><p>/ </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Sixty-five.</em>
</p><p>Her arms start to shake trying to push herself up from the stupid burpees punishment. It’s lunch and Nayeon is everything but eating her mouth away in the cafeteria. Instead, bullets of sweat stream down her skin from the blaze that dawns upon her and it reminds her again that she should be working as hard as she can.</p><p>
  <em>Sixty-six. </em>
</p><p>Nayeon collapses on the field, doesn’t mind how the sun strikes her face, her body facing the sun and her lungs catching up to steady her erratic breathing. She’s done this a lot of times and god does she wish to live her summer break once again. It’s nothing special – spent away back home and a lucky one night stand with an athlete that’s both amazing in bed and presumably her chosen sport.  Nayeon doesn’t believe her because if not most, athletes she’s met before brag about how skilled they are and Nayeon has to see it for herself to believe it. </p><p>It was a nice summer.</p><p>And Nayeon is one of those athletes that can brag her skill and prove it that she’s the promising star of the soccer field that meant to lead her team to the nationals. Ever since Nayeon got a hold of the spotted ball between her feet, she’s always dreamed about winning and playing in the nationals with people she shares the same interest and passion. Nayeon knows nothing but to play and train hard.</p><p>Win it or go home a loser.</p><p>Nayeon can imagine it as vividly and as realistic as she can. She closes her eyes.</p><p>The winning strike.</p><p>The moment and last kick that's going to win them the finals.</p><p>She hears the pounding of her heart get louder as each stomp and scream from the crowd pumps her up – everyone is about to bust a vein from the excessive noise. The ball between her feet glides as smoothly as she’s practiced it to mastery and to no mistake. Nayeon makes a run for the goal. It gets noisier as she increases the gap between her rivals.</p><p>Breathing in deep, it all comes back to her that she’s Im Nayeon. The star of the soccer field, the one who’s going to shoot the goal and win their team the sweet trophy from the nationals. She’s Im Nayeon and she’s not doing this solely for herself but for <em>her</em>. </p><p>
  <em>Goal!</em>
</p><p>Laughter erupts from Nayeon’s tired body and smiles to herself, that one day she’s going to make it and everything that she’s prepared for won’t go down the drain. It’s just another tough day for Im Nayeon to conquer and sleep away later at night.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>When Jeongyeon forced Nayeon to get out of the dorm that night and insisted that she hasn’t forgotten about the treat, Nayeon was ready to hit the bed and get over the stupid body ache. But here she is getting dragged away by Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung out in the middle of the night sneaking around the dorm hoping no one suspects them as thieves.</p><p>Nayeon knows she shouldn’t be doing this - sneaking out to waste time outside nearly 1AM at night when they have a morning run the next day. She could just stand Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon up and rush back to her room and lock the door and pretend she's knocked out sleeping. She could but she doesn’t want to – at least that’s what her body tells her.</p><p>Most of the time, Im Nayeon is an insensitive fuck to others. At times like this, she doesn’t care. They saved her ass today anyways. It’s only fair she owes it up to them.</p><p>They find themselves seated around drunk patrons of the local grilling restaurant, belching fresh white smoke from the grills and of lovely cheers between half-filled soju glasses. Jeongyeon, as shameless as she is, orders five servings of meat that she insists on “sharing” when she could finish half of it in no time. When the drinks are served, Nayeon wastes no time and downs a shot - face constricting due to the liquid’s bitterness, all of this so Jeongyeon won’t push her to drink more. Better get over it as fast as she could.</p><p>“Are you seriously collecting death cards from Coach? You’ve been out of the campus and scheduled practices for an unreasonable amount of times already. What the hell is wrong, Nayeon?” Jeongyeon is Nayeon’s best friend for sure, but she acts more of a counsellor whenever it comes to the soccer star.</p><p>Chaeyoung pops her soda can open - going light so she can savor the food a little more. “Soccer star privileges.” She singsongs trying to annoy and ease the furrowed brows now found on Nayeon’s forehead.</p><p>“I wish,” Nayeon flicks the soda can and luckily, it doesn’t spill that much. “Coach was steaming earlier, you know? What’s gotten into him?”</p><p>Jeongyeon snickers and says, “Besides you? The qualifiers for the Nationals is near, Im Nayeon. So if I were you, I’d stop sneaking around and actually show up during practices.”</p><p>“It’s not like my presence during practice makes much of a difference.” Nayeon argues and thank god their meat is finally cooking to satiate her hunger. Maybe it’s worth it after all to come all the way here.</p><p>“It does,” says Chaeyoung as a matter of fact. “The juniors are always competing who’s gonna be the next you. They’re pathetic at this point. Im Nayeon this, Im Nayeon that.”</p><p>“The next me? What the hell does that mean?”</p><p>A cut of meat goes directly to Jeongyeon’s mouth and she chews. “Exactly, why on earth would you want to be Im Nayeon? Insensitive bitch during the most inappropriate times, bad taste in women-”</p><p>“Excuse me? If I remember correctly, my one night stand person is the hottest among the people we had sex with last summer!”</p><p>Chaeyoung coughs. And coughs again until she’s handed water by Jeongyeon at the side. Im Nayeon has a running mouth that’s hard to no control at all - she’s learned the hard way back when they were first years whe Nayeon had insensitively told her to go shift programs if she’s always behind the skill bar. That hurts Chaeyoung, still does but now she’s used to Nayeon. She can tolerate it slightly better. Truths are not always pretty and gratifying. Especially with Im Nayeon. </p><p>But the thing with Im Nayeon and girls is on a different spectrum of bad. It’s ridiculous, actually, of how Im Nayeon could easily pass as a muse or those pretty ballerinas or gymnasts inside the strongholds of the gymnasium yet her luck in women is as thin as air. So for her to hit the jackpot last summer was something for both Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung to digest.</p><p>“And before you shit on me, it wasn’t out of pity and desperation.” The soccer star tries to put on her winning smile with her rebuttal.</p><p>“We’re going to let this one slide Nayeon just because you’re treating us tonight.”</p><p>Nayeon remembers that it’s not that much of a win-win situation that she’s in. She could only hope that Jeongyeon won’t devour the plates after she’s done with the meat.</p><p>It’s after they’ve finished off three bottles (Jeongyeon emptying two bottles while the other is shared between Chaeyoung and Nayeon) and seven plates of servings that things start to simmer down around them. There are less people making noise and the loud chatters are starting to grow faint. Nayeon could only smell smoke coming from their grill then she looks around the place: it’s nearly empty.</p><p>Chaeyoung stretches then stands from her seat. “Bathroom break.” She simply says before heading in.</p><p>“Hey,” Jeongyeon slaps her chopsticks together in a small effort to get Nayeon’s attention back on her. “I don’t know what’s going on with you - hell even if Chaeyoung keeps the secret of secrets between you two I’d still know, but this time I’m not sure what’s wrong but I’m your best friend. Tell me about it.”</p><p>“Maybe after two more bottles,” she says and sluggishly smiles, eyes trained on the metal cup within her hand.</p><p>“Maybe?” Jeongyeon repeats after, not fond of this so-so attitude of Nayeon.</p><p>Nayeon shrugs, “Yeah. Maybe I’ll tell you. Maybe I’ll be an ass of a best friend and not tell you. Or maybe I’m getting you drunk so you won’t remember a thing. Who knows?”</p><p>“<em>You know, Nayeon</em>.”</p><p>Jeongyeon doesn’t push the topic - never does (and Nayeon is quick to pick up this trait from Jeongyeon having spent most of her stay in college with her and Chaeyoung). Nayeon thinks it’s nice of Jeongyeon not to, always considerate of her even if it’s not necessary to the point it becomes a burden for her. Maybe that’s what a best friend is.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe.</em>
</p><p>Maybe she can pull off another stunt tomorrow morning but this time she won't get furiously yelled at.</p><p>Maybe Im Nayeon wants to keep this matter as personal and as private as she can.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>“Stand by!” shouts the officiant by the poolside - but in reality, it’s just the swimming team’s assistant coach taking over because their actual coach is on a 2-day break from hurting his left calf.</p><p>It’s 8PM and by the time that the swimming team finishes their night practice it’ll be around 11PM. Unless you’re Myoui Mina. The shining jewel and torpedo of the water world, making her name and figure known by snatching 1 gold medal and 2 silvers from her previous games. She’s looked up to and envied by some of her teammates, but for a good cause to motivate them enough to strive harder and be better athletes.</p><p>Mina thinks it’s not enough - no, not her teammates, but herself. She feels inferior and if she were the best and the supposed shining jewel and torpedo of the water world, she wouldn’t be here in the pool area but instead out and competing to represent not only herself but her team and her university. But she’s not. Instead, she’s stuck in here waiting for the signal so she can dive underwater and pour her all.</p><p>
  <em>But she’s not.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s not their captain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’s not Hirai Momo - the best of them all underwater and is out there probably fishing those medals better than she could’ve.</em>
</p><p>Air seems to get stuck inside her lungs longer than normal - she’s in panic. How could she be the best?</p><p>How is she always the second to everything?</p><p>Mina dives into the water.</p><p>She doesn't hear anything but only the sound of splash and her body is submerged in water.</p><p>The signal isn’t fired yet.</p><p>“Myoui,” The assistant coach is stern. He squats by the side. As Mina’s head emerges from the water, he motions her to come over. “If you keep this up you won’t be going anywhere. Do better.”</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry.” Mina sighs, head hanging low.</p><p>The assistant coach looks around him, stands up and blows on his whistle. “Focus! We’re starting again!”</p><p>Mina sees this as an indirect jab at her and her skills. She pushes herself out of the pool, taking quick strides to the lockers to isolate herself from the crowd. Even without looking back, Mina <em>knows </em>the eyes that follow her back to the locker room and she’s lucky enough not to break down in front of them. Wrapping herself with a dry towel, Mina sinks deeper into her thoughts.</p><p>Thoughts are meant to come and go, a reminder of things - it’s temporary. Thoughts become scary when they’re slowly turning into reality: the thought of always coming second? Always the shadow of someone?</p><p>Mina hates being not enough - never enough for anything.</p><p>They think she’s one of the best but she’s not. She’s in here to prove it, sulking, because she just dived head first into the water like her auditory sense is numbed.</p><p>Mina sighs. <em>God Mina what the hell is wrong with you?</em></p><p>She’s supposed to be better than this; to outgrow herself and become the definition of the best.</p><p>Just why can’t she do it?</p><p>Before tears could fall and strain her skin, a hand sifts its way through her hair massaging it and then pats it. Momo squats to her level and offers her a kind smile - the definition of perfect is here, in front of Myoui Mina, and she’s still struggling to even be the best. Mina hates how insecure and inferior she feels right now to Momo when all she’s ever been to her is kind and helpful, always looking out for her.</p><p>“You’re crying a bit too early, Minari.” The pearl of the water world, Hirai Momo, Mina wishes she could be like her.</p><p>Mina chokes out a laugh amidst a sob and she finds herself laughing at her own pitiful self.</p><p>“How was the competition?” she asks as she dries her skin of tears.</p><p>The grin that spreads across Momo’s face is as shiny as the medals that she fishes out of her pocket - like it’s not that much of importance to even be kept somewhere tidy and safe. Two golds.</p><p>Mina wishes she could win as much. Could be as much.</p><p>“One for you,” she says as she wears the medal on Mina and the other on her. “And one for me. How about that?”</p><p>Being the shining jewel is nothing compared to the pearl of the sea. Mina clutches at the medal and hopes; she’s going to make it. She’s going to win more and be as good - the best.</p><p>“Have you told the others you’re back from the competition?” Mina asks.</p><p>Momo sits beside Mina, sees how poorly covered the girl is with the towel and she fixes it so Mina doesn’t get cold. It’s kind of dumb, really. They’re always in the water and though they’ve conditioned both their minds and bodies that it’s much of a difference to be exposed, their own towels still provide them the comfort of warmth.</p><p>She answers, “Not yet. But I have better news than this.”</p><p>Mina half-heartedly chuckles. “What’s better than winning two golds?”</p><p>“Oh you know,” Momo singsongs as the thought puts her into such a good mood. “I’m finally staying at the dorm! I’m moving in tonight and I was hoping you could show me around since you’ve been there since first year. Is that okay?”</p><p>“You are? I thought you were going to get stuck sulking at your apartment until graduation!”</p><p>Now the mood is lighter compared to before, Momo pushes at Mina’s shoulder and laughs with her.</p><p>“Yeah, I worked my magic around my parents and got myself in. So are you up for it?”</p><p>“To show you around the dorm? Of course I am!”</p><p>Momo shakes her head, “No, silly. I mean sneaking out of here so I can buy us some snacks and eat at my new dorm!”</p><p>The smile on Mina’s lips is enough as an answer to Momo’s question - enough for her to change back into a fresh set of clothes and struggle their way out through the locker room window that Momo insists on taking. After a lot of heaves and hos, they’re out in the open night.</p><p>Momo carries with her a duffle bag of her things and a carrier that she purposely left outside the pool building having this plan devised before she enters and meets with Mina. While Mina still carries the same set of insecurities and self-doubt with her as baggage. They’re always on a different scale of things.</p><p>Hirai Momo is as positive as she could get and heck she might as well be walking on a flower path coupled with sunshine and rainbows while Mina is at the sidelines being drowned in a harsh downpour. <em>Yeah, </em>Mina hates her brain for this.</p><p>To their travel to the nearest convenience store, Momo retells her summer story and the two months of being away from the team for the sake of the competition that she just won hours ago. It’s all worth it for Momo.</p><p>“Wait,” Mina racks her brain and her ears if she’s heard Momo right. “You skipped a day of training because you were sore from sex?”</p><p>Momo nods like it’s the most casual topic to be on while waiting in line in front of the cashier.</p><p>“Was a one night stand with another athlete. She’s hot, you know.” Momo playfully moves her brows up and down at Mina.</p><p>Disgusted, Mina makes a face. “I don’t do one night stands.”</p><p>“Do you even do sex?”</p><p>Myoui Mina flushes at the mention of her not so progressive sex life - still at zero. A virgin in college. Not that it’s much of a big deal - never is, if she’s still a virgin her age. But the topic of her engaging in sex still makes her shy like a girl in high school learning new sorts.</p><p>“Right time, right person.”</p><p>Momo shrugs. “Whatever you say, Minari.”</p><p>The trip back to the campus is quiet now that students are either doing their night training or resting and not going on spontaneous sneak outs during training. Mina could let this pass once. Momo did promise to give her a week’s worth of snacks later.</p><p>They arrive at the dorm and Momo feels like she’s at home - like she’s finally on Olympus with the gods, just that they’re in a communal dorm for female athletes but you know? It's that feeling of home. This is better than coming home to an empty apartment that consists of Momo and the things inside that place. This one, however, booms of life and of competitive spirit that Momo only experiences during competitions.</p><p>This <em>is </em>home.</p><p>It’s like returning to your pack after being away for such a long time.</p><p>“So what’s your room number?” Mina asks.</p><p>“22S? I think?”</p><p>Mina laughs and smiles. “You think?”</p><p>“Yeah, I think.” She returns the smile and they proceed to the flight of stairs with Mina taking the lead expertly maneuvering around the place. Momo can see on the metal plates that they’re on the right track.</p><p>“Here we are!” Mina points at the metal plate that’s engraved with 22S. “Don’t bother your roommate too much, Momoring.”</p><p>Momo sticks her tongue out then replies, “No promises. Come in!”</p><p>“Nah,” Mina politely smiles and shakes her head - she makes a distance between them and slumps her body. “I’m kind of exhausted. How about tomorrow?”</p><p>“Fine,” A pout comes after Momo tries her best to change Mina’s decision with her best puppy eyes she can pull off. “Okay I won’t get greedy. See you tomorrow. Rest well, okay?”</p><p>“You too.”</p><p>Mina is going to try to <em>rest. </em>Sneaking out of training isn’t exactly as rewarding knowing she’ll get another solid hour of scolding from the assistant coach. He’s even worse than their actual coach, always running his mouth that it’s better to stay under the water than hear him go on and on.</p><p>Mina is going to pretend she won’t feel as low before the tsunami of words eats her up tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry but this roo-”</p><p>“Nayeon?”</p><p>“Momo?”</p><p>“What the hell are you doing in my room?” The soccer player assesses the situation in front of her. Hirai Momo is an athlete, a duffle bag slung on her shoulder, an impossibly full plastic bag of snacks on one hand and a carrier on the other. “Oh my god!”</p><p>“Can I come in?”</p><p>Nayeon moves aside as Momo lets herself in the room - throws her bag onto the empty, plain bed besides Nayeon’s that’s separated by two bedside tables.</p><p>“Are you not happy to see me?” There’s a smirk that’s playing wildly on Momo’s lips and it quirks higher when Nayeon faces her seemingly still confused even though she’s pieced it all together.</p><p>“I’m not quite sure what to feel if I’m suddenly roommates with someone I had a one night stand with,” admits Nayeon as she looks Momo straight in the eyes. She gets a glimpse of the jacket that Momo pulls out of her duffle bag. On the back is the same logo that Nayeon has on her university jacket, the only difference between hers and Momo is that it says “Swimming Club” and a clear print of Momo’s name on the back.</p><p>“You’re still pretty, Nayeon.”</p><p>The soccer player isn’t quite sure if that’s supposed to be a sincere compliment when Momo’s attention is not on her but on to the task at hand of unpacking her things like she’s belonged here for a long time and has finally returned after a lengthy vacation. The sight sets Nayeon’s nerves down and steady.</p><p>“I know,” she answers unabashed. If it’s coming from the mouth of Hirai Momo, then it must be darn true. Have you seen her? If she were to describe Momo, Nayeon thinks Momo is a hundred lifetimes better than her in terms of everything and wow she’s actually roommates with her? Her one night stand Momo?</p><p>Nayeon must be some lunatic. A few seconds ago when the bomb was dropped in the form of Hirai Momo, she’s serious and internally conflicted but now she’s laughing because damn. What are the odds that you become roommates with your one night stand person?</p><p>“So this is the disadvantage of not telling me shit during summer break? Hell, Momo I don’t even know you’re in the same school as me!”</p><p>The thing is, Nayeon doesn’t really know much about the people around her aside from her team because she’s busy training her ass out - over the top at times that she gets Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung in gruesome worry. Besides, the swimming department isn’t close to the field. More reason for Nayeon to excuse her way around Momo.</p><p>Momo smiles at her and throws to her face the jacket Nayeon was staring at earlier.</p><p>“You must be a busy person if that’s the case.”</p><p>“I suppose I am.” she answers monotonously.</p><p>“Isn’t that a good thing? You’re not a bum. Besides, you're winning. You have me as your roommate!" Momo finally beams at her.</p><p>True but Nayeon won't admit it.</p><p>“You're fishing for a compliment, aren't you? Treat me to dinner first, Hirai.”</p><p>Nayeon holds Momo’s jacket up before slipping right into it, doesn’t bat a lash back at the swimmer when she throws out another compliment. It’s a little big for Nayeon’s body and she guesses the same for Momo. Having seen each other’s naked body for more than an hour, Nayeon’s got a feel of how well-built Momo is as an athlete - firm muscles that are visible without much effort, Nayeon feels funny inside.</p><p>There are no aftermath feelings. It really is just a one night stand between the two of them.</p><p>“What are you laughing about? You’re scaring me, Nayeon.”</p><p>The soccer star shrugs. “Buy me lunch tomorrow. It’s payback for not telling me anything about yourself, let alone become my roommate all of a sudden.”</p><p>This time it’s Momo’s turn to laugh.</p><p>“What do you expect from a one night stand? I’m not there to tell you my life story but get some of that good stuff, and fortunately I did.”</p><p>Nayeon tucks herself to bed and hugs Momo’s jacket close to her and says, “Whatever, you’re still buying me lunch. If you ditch me, you’re not getting your jacket back.”</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>Swimmers and soccer players don’t cross paths every day. It’s like expecting the blue moon to show up so when Im Nayeon goes out for their morning run (and still has a warm up jog around the track field after) wearing Momo’s jacket for the population to see, it becomes the quick talk between most of the athletes.</p><p>Jeongyeon ups her speed to run beside Nayeon, an incredulous look on her face after seeing the clear print of “HIRAI MOMO” on the fabric.</p><p>“Did you bang <em>the </em>Hirai Momo last night? Or are you a thief now?”</p><p>Nayeon flicks the midfielder’s side temple and responds, “None of the above, dumbass. And what do you mean <em>the </em>Hirai Momo?”</p><p>Jeongyeon’s face falls flat at how unbelievable this is. But she gives Nayeon some slack because after all, she <em>is </em>Im Nayeon that works her ass off still despite getting yelled at for uncalled for reasons.</p><p>“Have you not heard? She just won two gold medals yesterday! God, Nayeon I know you’re busy with training and almost have no life besides us dragging you out but seriously? Nothing on Hirai Momo?” says Jeongyeon exasperatedly.</p><p>“She’s <em>literally </em>the girl I had a one night stand with, Jeongyeon.” Nayeon deadpans which almost brings the midfielder to trip over nothing and a blurt of an unbelieving <em>what?! </em>To her face. “She’s buying me lunch later, just so you know.”</p><p>“How the hell does that happen?”</p><p>Nayeon smiles - the smile that from time to time irritates Jeongyeon because Nayeon knows she has the upper hand, knowing.</p><p>“She happens to be my roommate,” and Jeongyeon responds with another flail of arms and a gasp of what. “We’re basically friends.”</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>Lunch time rolls around rather quickly and Nayeon is happily skipping towards the cafeteria looking for a certain swimmer. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung tag along because that’s what friends do: accompany each other and possibly get a new connection with the promising swimmer of their university. Totally not because it’s Hirai Momo.</p><p>When Nayeon approaches Momo, the swimmer flashes her a troubled smile coupled with awkward scratching at her neck and the shift of weight from one foot to another.</p><p>“So,” Momo starts and her attention goes from Nayeon to her other friends at the back. “I kinda left my wallet at my friend’s room. Um-”</p><p>“I can get it if you want.” says Jeongyeon rather enthusiastically. A little <em>too </em>willing it’s going to make Nayeon puke.</p><p>“Don’t mind her.” Nayeon intercepts, looks back at Jeongyeon to roll her eyes at her then back to Momo. “I’ll go get it. Is your friend staying at the athlete dormitories?”</p><p>“Wait, you’re actually going to get it?” Chaeyoung muses at Nayeon’s uncharacteristic behavior. Nayeon counters her short friend with, “She’s buying me lunch and said lunch depends on her wallet, does that ring any bell?”</p><p>“Great! She’s actually in the same dorm as us. Her room’s 12M. She should be there since she doesn’t go out for lunch.”</p><p>And off Nayeon goes leaving Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung alone with Momo. It’s awkward to say the least, especially when one tall midfielder is trying too hard to please and get to know the swimmer for the first time. Chaeyoung wishes she could run after Nayeon and not endure the secondhand embarrassment from Jeongyeon. Why is she trying so hard anyway?</p><p>The rumble from Nayeon’s stomach pushes her to walk faster and only now does she realize how far their dorm actually is from the cafeteria. When she enters the building, she groans at the conquest that’s in concrete form of stairs. By the time she reaches the room with 12M imprinted on the metal tag, Nayeon doesn’t think twice before pushing the door open and sauntering in.</p><p>She’s tired enough to forget her manners but she’s not <em>that </em>tired to not process that upon entering the room she’s not so welcomed by the sight of another half-naked athlete.</p><p>“What the fuck?!” Mina screeches and holds her clothes in front of her in poor attempt to shield and cover herself from the random intruder.</p><p>“Wow you look great.” Is what Nayeon says.</p><p>Is what she's not supposed to say.</p><p>Is the reason why Mina is red all over her skin.</p><p>And Mina is horrified because who on earth says that to a naked stranger?!</p><p>“Get out!” the swimmer repeats and chants.</p><p>Only then Nayeon realizes the situation she’s in when Mina aggressively pushes her out of the room and slams the door shut that it’s loud enough to echo through the hallways. Yeah, Im Nayeon <em>is </em>tired, and hungry as her stomach protests again.</p><p>Closing her eyes and leaning her frame to the door, Nayeon tries to explain the situation after apologizing again and again. She's not even sure if this girl is listening to everything that she's said because she gets silence as a response from the swimmer at the other side of the door.</p><p>Her stomach rumbles again. If she doesn’t get that wallet soon...</p><p>
  <em>Fuck, whatever! I’ll get free lunch some other time then!</em>
</p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>The door slams shut again after Mina haphazardly throws Momo’s wallet to Nayeon, which unmistakably landed at the back of her head. Groaning at the unwanted pain, Nayeon rubs it off, squeezes the spot gently until the pain goes away. Are swimmers that strong for that wallet throw to hurt so much?</p><p>Nevertheless, Nayeon walks up again to the closed door. “Hey, I’m sorry okay?” Nayeon says loud enough as she picks up the leather wallet on the floor. “Like, really sorry. I didn’t mean to walk in on you.”</p><p>Hearing nothing but silence (again), Nayeon makes her way back to the cafeteria and by the looks of it, Jeongyeon freaked the soul out of Momo. It makes Nayeon laugh at how the midfielder is so willing to throw her face out like that. But she doesn’t make too much fun out of that because she has to agree on this one— Momo is someone you’d throw your all at just to get a shot of it.</p><p>Nayeon hands Momo her wallet to which the swimmer expresses her gratitude and whispers to Nayeon about getting out of here so she can treat her to lunch. Thanks to Chaeyoung, Nayeon doesn’t have a lot to worry about that being two of her friends sticking around for the time being.</p><p>As they walk out of the campus, Nayeon wails to Momo how she had walked in on her friend earlier unintentionally for her mind and body is somewhere else. Momo laughs at her - the kind of laugh that’s annoyingly boisterous, it makes Nayeon pinch Momo by the forearm to get her to stop laughing. But her laughter only simmers down to suppressed fits of giggle. </p><p>“You saw Mina naked?” The swimmer’s lips tug upward still finding the scenario hilarious. “How’d you feel about it?”</p><p>Nayeon groans. “That’s the thing Momo! I literally said to her that she has a nice body! Who on earth says that? God why do I have to be dumb at the most inappropriate time.”</p><p>Momo tries to stifle her giggle when Nayeon gives her another look that’s meaning to say she’s going to punch her hard this time if she doesn’t stop.</p><p>At least she tries to.</p><p>“What are you going to do about it then? Mina’s not the type of person to show up after <em>you know.</em>” The swimmer wiggles her brows at the soccer player and that was the last straw for Nayeon before shoving Momo down the path.</p><p>Thank god Momo’s reflexes kick in before her face falls flat on the ground.</p><p>“I’m on the losing end, aren’t I? Gosh why did I even agree to do that? And you’re of no help at all!”</p><p>“Oh come on it isn’t that bad. It’s not like you and Mina are going to cross paths everyday so don’t worry about it too much.”</p><p>“That’s not the point here!”</p><p>Momo holds the door open for Nayeon to saunter in before she follows behind. They take the table at the back and make orders so they can continue discussing the so-called disaster that Nayeon had casted upon herself. So much for volunteering to get someone else's money. Nayeon internally rolls at herself. She just wanted free food is that too much to ask?</p><p>“What’s exactly your point?” Momo asks before taking a sip on her orange juice - trying to get the weird taste make sense in her mouth. She fails and instead pushes the juice to Nayeon’s side.</p><p>“I have manners therefore I have to do something so I won’t look as bad.”</p><p>Nayeon might be an insensitive person like how Jeongyeon tells her and how she agrees to it most of the time, but decent is what Nayeon is (at least if you don’t mind that insensitive side of her). She can’t exactly have a record of having walked in on someone while they’re changing and not even get that well deserved forgiveness.</p><p>"Isn't that just you trying to clean your image and, I don't know, clear your conscience?"</p><p>Exactly the point.</p><p>"The half of it, yes, but who knows? We could end up as the bestest of friends too."</p><p>"You and Mina? The bestest of friends?" Momo doubts that will happen anytime soon knowing how closed off Mina is as a person. It even took her a whole year to get things started with her! And now Nayeon wants to break in just like that? Momo would like to see Nayeon challenge herself.</p><p>"Nothing's impossible. Becoming friends is easy." Nayeon stands her ground.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>Maybe it is. Nayeon has zero concrete plan on how to make it work: get herself to face Mina without being stupid and let her insensitive mouth run nonstop. All the help she could get from Momo is the comprehensive schedule the swimming team has. It's mostly conflicting with Nayeon's but she can make arrangements and see if it won't get her in trouble. Her coach is probably about to put Nayeon on a week of doubled exercises and routines as punishment if she gets caught again.</p><p>After stepping out fresh from the shower, Nayeon checks again the colored schedule on her phone. This morning and every Wednesday mornings, the swimming team has a scheduled morning run on the track field along with the soccer and track team. If Nayeon is lucky, she can tag along with the swimming team and pretend all is good.</p><p>But Nayeon, most of the time, is not lucky. So she has to put her thick skin to the test as soon as she arrives at the track field. She jogs beside Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung purposely ignoring everything that they're saying trying to get a glimpse of the swimmers running opposite to their direction of the field. It doesn't take long until they cross paths and meet in the middle and Nayeon wills herself to steer away from her team and join the swimming team.</p><p>Running backwards is not Nayeon's forte but she's trying her very best to catch up with Mina. She's at the back of the team while Momo stays in front. Mina knows there's no meaning to it when they've been assigned to watch over the others but she can't help but feel that maybe the reason why she's at the back is because she's not as good. Thoughts like that are always running inside Mina's brain but not today because Im Nayeon is in front of her running backwards like a stupid person.</p><p>When they meet eyes, Nayeon waves and stupidly smiles at Mina as if nothing had happened yesterday.</p><p>"It's Im Nayeon, by the way." The soccer star introduces, now jogging normally beside Mina at a safe distance in case she wants to slap Nayeon for yesterday.</p><p>"Not interested."</p><p>"Well I am."</p><p>Mina huffs and picks up her pace ignoring the soccer player who also speeds up. "You're being annoying."</p><p>"You're correct and to add to that I'm also trying to become friends with you. Is that too much?"</p><p>"No because I don't care, <em>Im Nayeon.</em>"</p><p>Nayeon cheekily smiles. "That's the spirit! At least you know my name! Aren't you going to tell me yours?"</p><p>Mina prefers her jog to be silent, solemn, and simply bringing herself down rather than have an annoying soccer player jog beside her and try her best to get her way to Mina. It's not exactly pleasing to start your day seeing the person you absolutely don't want to encounter at all. It's embarrassing. It's making the hair on Mina's neck stand up to have Im Nayeon close.</p><p>"So, you and Momo are friends?"</p><p>First of all, the last time Nayeon made a friend was years ago and that was with Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung so a friendly conversation starter for Nayeon is a bit hard. It's not as easy as passing the ball with her feet or shooting it at an angle precisely. But Nayeon guesses that a person like Mina won't judge her for that. Besides, she's said it herself that she's not interested so she probably won't remember this lame conversation.</p><p>Mina, again, pushes forward to solidify how much she wants to get away from Nayeon. But being stubborn is within Nayeon's body so she surges forward among the swimmers to be next to Mina.</p><p>The soccer player runs alongside the swimmer and lets her be, finally shutting her mouth close. Nayeon suppresses a smile from breaking out, cautious so Mina won't think she's weird. It's the thought that she took the first step that makes her smile. Sure, she looks like an idiot running backwards and that lame ass conversation starter, but it isn't so bad.</p><p>This isn’t so bad.</p><p>Nayeon has a lot of pride to spare to make things work.</p><p>Myoui Mina is another challenge that Im Nayeon is going to complete. She's going to make it.</p><p>Not anytime soon but someday she will.</p><p>Baby steps.</p><p> </p><p>/</p><p> </p><p>"What stunt are you trying to pull this morning? Yesterday you went out wearing Hirai Momo's jacket and now you're talking <em>and </em>jogging with Myoui Mina?" Jeongyeon retorts in disbelief.</p><p>"Yeah, Nayeon. I didn't know you have a thing with Japanese chicks!" Chaeyoung joins but Jeongyeon slaps the back of her head for saying something unnecessary.</p><p>Nayeon knows she has to set her priorities straight and stop messing around with her spare time because the Qualifiers is two months away. There's not much time left for them to slack off - but it's the way that most of her teammates assure her that she's on top of her game that urges her to see Mina again later.</p><p>Or maybe now?</p><p>It's lunch and she's probably at her room. Nayeon thinks she's a genius. She could bring Mina food and hope for the best. It's a win-win situation no matter what. If Mina doesn't want to talk and eat the food Nayeon brings her then she can just eat it for herself and try again some other time. Nayeon has nothing to lose with Mina.</p><p>For a couple of change and bills, she's able to buy Mina a proper takeout meal with a fatty dessert.</p><p>This time around, Nayeon learns how to knock twice then thrice. And another set of knocks until she runs impatient because there's no one answering her. Pulling her phone out, she dials Momo's number.</p><p>
  <em>"Nayeon? What's up?"</em>
</p><p>"Are you with Mina?"</p><p>
  <em>"Mina? No, I'm with some friends. I think she's still at the pool building. Hold on- you're still going for it?" </em>
</p><p>Nayeon rolls her eyes. She starts her way down the dorm and out to the pool building - a solid twenty-minute walk from the dorm.</p><p>"Yeah, on my way to meet her."</p><p>Before Momo could send her another remark, Nayeon abruptly ended the call.</p><p>It's a long walk - the way from the pool building to the soccer field where Nayeon has to train after her soon to be encounter with Mina. She hurries it up, ignoring the blatant stares and body turns directed at her from the other athletes around the area. Swimmers and soccer players don't often make appearances together. Nayeon is going to change that.</p><p>With the plastic bag in one hand, Nayeon navigates her way through the building. It's much cooler than being on the field, constantly grilled by the sun. But it's not much of a difference when she hears a booming voice echo through the hallway. Nayeon peeks her head in first and the scene unfolds before her.</p><p>It's Mina.</p><p>Nayeon flinches at the choice of words that are being thrown towards the shining jewel of the water- much harsher than the ones she's received from her own coach - or that she will ever receive in her time as an athlete. She flees away from the area and best decides not to hear what it is all about and pretends that she didn’t hear anything at all.</p><p>Ten minutes pass by and Mina finally emerges from the building, now in proper casual clothes. Nayeon launches herself from the wall and greets Mina with the same wave and smile, only to get ignored as she predicted. Mina walks past her and Nayeon has to keep up again.</p><p>"I bought you food." Nayeon tells her, and she catches the way how Mina's eyes are nowhere from focused and is blankly looking straight ahead.</p><p>As an athlete herself, Nayeon can sympathize with Mina. It's an unavoidable cause for every athlete to be yelled at, criticized, and worst of all be told of how undeserving and how far behind you are from others. Nayeon is not an exception. She may be the soccer star of the team, in her coach's eyes she's just another soccer player in training hoping that one day she'll make it.</p><p>Words like those will always hurt. It stings less as time goes by but still hurts nonetheless.</p><p>Mina, as Nayeon comprises to walk with her in silence, is another athlete that has to go through a rough path. Nayeon wonders if Momo is the same as the girl is always positive and smiling most of the time.</p><p>It's past lunch now and Nayeon doesn't have to make a run for training until two hours later. So she drags Mina by the grass patch and pulls her down to sit with her. Nayeon doesn't say much and respects the silence from Mina. She instead prepares the takeout she's bought for her - even breaks the chopsticks in two for the swimmer.</p><p>"You should eat," says Nayeon, trying to hand Mina the chopsticks, waits for her to move but in the end she doesn't. Her eyes remain blank.</p><p>"If you're not going to eat it then I will."</p><p>And she does. Nayeon chews down on the food carefully, as slow as she can until she makes Mina realize that she's missing out on good food and that she shouldn't dwell on negative thoughts too much.</p><p>It's unhealthy, the way Mina thinks of herself and the way she acts on it.</p><p>Nayeon endlessly chews - not savoring the food anymore and only hopes Mina would look at least bat a lash at her so she won't feel like she's talking to a rock. A sad one, that is. Until Mina's own stomach rumbles.</p><p>Nayeon grins, a toothy one, and picks up a cut of tonkatsu from the container and holds it in front of Mina.</p><p>"Come on take it and eat it," she offers.</p><p>A blush creeps up on Mina's cheeks. It's one thing to be sitting with Im Nayeon and it's another thing to be fed by her.</p><p>"That wasn't so hard, was it?"</p><p>Mina continues to chew on her food.</p><p>Nayeon continues to feed her.</p><p>It really isn’t so bad to try and become friends with Myoui Mina. She’s kept as Nayeon had expected her to be. Pretty on the edges, soft all over the surface. Just the right amount of intimidation. Nayeon thinks that Mina is much softer and that time will tell. For now, she has to finish feeding the gloomy athlete and take care of the crumbs that’s glued to the side of her lips.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. we're kinda friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nayeon tries a little too hard.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There's always a disruption that prevents Mina from maintaining her equilibrium and that disruption <em>always </em>comes in human form of Im Nayeon every morning jog schedule at the track field. It's so often that the rest of her teammates even greet Nayeon good morning when she slips past in their line and Nayeon's own teammates are the first to shoo her away and push her towards the swimming team.</p><p>Athletes are composed of dedication, passion, and discipline. Nayeon is plain stubborn and persistent. Mina won’t call it dedication or any of that sort.</p><p>It's the same wave and smile that she gets from Nayeon every morning but Mina doesn't think there's going to be any progress between the two of them. She might've let it pass that one time Nayeon had fed her - Mina still refuses that that scenario is real. That's not going to change anything between them.</p><p>That was a one time thing. Mina deludes herself that it’s not much of a big deal to have a “stranger” feed you. Totally not a shocker.</p><p>Nayeon still has her lame conversation starters and small talks that mainly consists of the soccer star talking to herself while Mina focuses on her jog and on ignoring Im Nayeon.</p><p>It's an easy job to ignore Im Nayeon, pretend she isn’t there because that’s what Mina’s been doing for the past days perfectly, until she starts bumping shoulders with Mina every three minutes of the jog.</p><p>"What the hell is wrong with you?" the swimmer audibly hisses. "Stop that!"</p><p>"You can talk!" Nayeon fake gasps – a smile follows it to tease the swimmer. "For us to be friends, you actually have to talk and not ignore me all of the time. That's not how it works."</p><p>"<em>I </em>don't need friends."</p><p>Nayeon snorts. "Why the hell do you think the quote "No man is an island" exists? Because everyone needs someone and just like me, you have a friend and that's Momo. You can make it <em>two</em> if you decide to talk to me, yeah?"</p><p>Mina reiterates, "Let me rephrase it then, I don't want <em>you </em>as my friend."</p><p>"Ouch," Nayeon pretends to be hurt and reacts exaggeratedly, pounding at her chest. A smile then starts pulling at her lips after. "That's not going to stop me just so you know."</p><p>/</p><p>As far as Momo knows, Mina is not the type of person that lets unnecessary things linger around her - too much of it causes her stress. She has this systematic way of thinking that revolves around concise and well-thought plans - almost a perfectionist but not quite. When they snuck around during training before, Momo knew it’s a slip up and that Mina has a lot on her plate for her to let that happen <em>twice.</em></p><p>It’s like hitting the jackpot or winning first place in the lottery.</p><p>So when she sees Im Nayeon <em>still </em>sticking her nose around Mina, it comes as a surprise but a pleasant one. It’s still the same routine: blending herself with the swimming team during morning jogs and then the usual wave and smile that she offers Mina every single morning jog.</p><p>“It’s been a week now,” Nayeon starts, like she always does since Mina won’t do it. “We’re technically friends - not close but still friends. Isn’t that awesome, Mina?”</p><p>Basically: a whole week of Nayeon always trying to start a conversation with the swimmer and solid seven days of Mina pretending that she isn’t there at all. It gets tiring to have the same unwanted routine. To have a soccer player jogging her way beside you.</p><p>What a starter!</p><p>“I think it’s amazing! Im Nayeon and Myoui Mina, the bestest of friends!” proudly, Nayeon declares.</p><p>Mina would’ve laughed at the ridiculous thought but she doesn’t. Her and Nayeon? Maybe if things didn’t happen the way they did then that can be a possibility.</p><p>/</p><p>Momo checks on Nayeon from time to time whenever she gets the opportunity. They have varying schedules from each other so when they do see each other (that being mostly in the cafeteria and the dorms), Nayeon has this weird yet aggressive way of getting her to agree to things Mina won’t be pleased at.</p><p>Apparently, there’s a dinner party for the soccer club that’s around 10PM and Momo can’t exactly say no when their training ends at 10 and the same goes for Mina. Nayeon has a scheme up to her sleeves and Momo is up for it but the challenge here lies within Mina.</p><p>The ever so uptight Mina that seldom goes out to have fun and would rather stay beyond training hours.</p><p>“Do you have any plans later?” Momo later asks after their laps in the pool.</p><p>“Sleeping, what else?”</p><p>Momo watches as Mina rearranges her things inside her locker. She takes a good look at her and the only thing that her mind could come up with is that Mina needs to relieve her stress.</p><p>“How about we go out? The soccer club invited me and said I could bring anyone.” <em>Well</em>, Nayeon had specifically said to persuade Mina to go and strictly forbids her from bringing anyone else. It’s either her and Mina or there’s no free dinner.</p><p>But that’s not so important right now for Mina to know.</p><p>Mina shuts her locker close and gives Momo a probing look. “Since when did you get associated with the soccer club? That Nayeon is weird and now you’re suddenly friends with the whole team? Would you please enlighten me?”</p><p>“First of all, no, I am not dating Im Nayeon.” Mina makes a face that’s as if to say <em>is that important? </em>And Momo backs it up with, “Yes, that fact is important just in case you’re interested in her-”</p><p>“-Me? Interested in that soccer player? Momo have you been paying attention to what’s happening lately? Her and I, it’s a no-no.”</p><p>“Not when you’re still keeping her around.” she says a little too quickly that it raises a brow from her friend. “You could’ve told her off-”</p><p>“I did and she’s not listening-”</p><p>“-No, as in told her to fuck off because that would work. But you’re keeping Nayeon around, Myoui. So I’m going to take that as a probable cause why you will be coming with me to the dinner party.”</p><p>She would’ve refuted – get her point across that there is no way or any time soon that she and the soccer player that goes by the name of Im Nayeon will be on the same boat.</p><p>It’s exhausting enough to deal with her every morning jog. Mina keeps running and Nayeon is stubborn to chase her every time.</p><p>/</p><p>“Is Mina coming around?”</p><p>Momo shuts the door behind her. Nayeon is casually dressed up for the dinner party and she takes it into account to also wear something similar.</p><p>The dinner party is out of the blue, actually. Nayeon has only known when Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung brought it up earlier today at lunch, said that it was going to be a festive dinner and didn’t disclose any more details than that. Weird but who is Nayeon to say no to free food? The soccer team has secured funding from the institution so for them to pull a dinner party out of thin air shouldn’t surprise her as much.</p><p>“She is.” Momo replies – avoiding too more inquiries that involve how they’re going to get Mina out of the dorm.</p><p>
  <em>“She is?!”</em>
</p><p>Suddenly Nayeon is beside her, eyes widened that only expects nothing but truth from Momo. She nods to confirm her inquiry - only half true though. They still have to drag Mina out of her room before Momo could finally breathe guilt-free.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Oh, you’ll see.”</p><p> /</p><p>“<em>You didn’t tell me I have to drag her out! Literally!</em>” the soccer star hisses, still feeling betrayed at her roommate for tricking her to picking up Mina together. It was a whole power play to finally have Mina walking in front of them, displeased with both of her company for tonight, and Nayeon has to hush herself or else she’ll hear her.</p><p>Momo snickers. “What? And not get free dinner? No thanks, Nayeon.”</p><p>Nayeon can’t believe her ears right now. Groaning loud enough for Momo to hear how disappointed she is, Nayeon strides faster and catches up with Mina. At least she won’t have to deal with Momo’s annoying ass, because between her and Mina, Nayeon is the annoying ass.</p><p>For once, Nayeon appreciates the quiet with Mina. She treats Momo’s unnecessary comments as background noise and mutes it off.</p><p>“How do you do it?” the soccer player asks, decides to finally break the silence. Doesn’t expect to get an answer but she tries anyway.</p><p>Mina turns to face Nayeon, head tilted to the side. That was enough for Nayeon to look away in haste, not expecting Mina to pay her attention or even turn her way.</p><p>
  <em>Funny, why am I feeling fussy?</em>
</p><p>“You’re so good at pretending like I’m not there - invisible and not existing. I totally get it that you’re still holding that grudge against me but wow, to this extent?” Nayeon breathes because that was something she’s been keeping to herself from some time now. “It’s like I’m performing a monologue whenever I’m with you, not that I mind, but it gets repetitive. How are you so kept and closed?”</p><p>“Why does it concern you so much? I’m minding my business and you should too.”</p><p>Nayeon bitterly nods, biting the inside of cheek. “Yeah, okay. Is it fun though?”</p><p>Silence. (Or the magic appearance of crickets.)</p><p>Mina wishes they arrive soon at the place so Nayeon’s friends could drag her away from her.</p><p>
  <em>Fun?</em>
</p><p>“You know, Mina, all of this is worth it for me. I don’t care how tiring training is, how emotionally draining it is to get yelled at, and all that shit because I’m having fun. It’s all worth it in the end for me because it makes me happy. Does it make you happy?”</p><p>Mina feels her own insides twitch and then it feels like everything inside her is shrinking. She hates how Nayeon can hit the goal even without looking past.</p><p>Is there fun in competition? Mina had competed, trained, and everything to her sport but the fun department is obviously lacking in every way. She admits it’s because of herself – how toxic and unhealthy her mentality is when it comes to competition.</p><p>Swimming before is all that Mina needed to get away. But as she looks at it now, the more she gets involved, the thing that she loves the most is also the reason of her destruction. Unhealthy competition? Mina has that checked. A not so positive mindset? That one is checked too.</p><p>The list could go on.</p><p>“Are you happy?”</p><p>It doesn’t resonate with her. Happy?</p><p>
  <em>Am I?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, I’m not happy.</em>
</p><p>Instead, in the smallest voice she says, “Make me.”</p><p>(Nayeon pretends to not hear.)</p><p>/</p><p>(But Nayeon is not a total ass.)</p><p>The “dinner” party turns out to be a complete bogus party. It’s more of a frat kind of party that college kids throw their bodies at and get wasted. Nayeon is equally as confused as Momo and Mina. Especially when plastic saucers are flying around and the frisbee team thinks it’s the best alternative to their discs.</p><p>Nayeon has two necks to come for after tonight. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung better watch out for Nayeon tonight or they’re getting their bottoms kicked for good and in front of everyone.</p><p>Another saucer flies over Nayeon’s head and she ducks just in time before it hits her. She yells at the group, drunk and smiles flying up their asses to pay Nayeon attention.</p><p>“Okay, change of plan.” Nayeon says as she turns her back to the party and faces the two confused bodies. “Just don’t get wasted and everything is okay.”</p><p>Momo’s been to different kinds of parties before so this one is like riding a bicycle with training wheels. She only smiles at the two before disappearing into the crowd leaving two people that shouldn’t be left together.</p><p>“This is a disaster. I should’ve stayed,” Mina dreads, heels ready to turn around and take a cab right off the sidewalk. But Nayeon stops her, holds her by the wrist and with pleading eyes she tells Mina, “It’s not, trust me. So, have you done this type of thing before?”</p><p>No. Mina has not gone to a wild party before because she’s too busy training and sulking. This is a terrible idea. Agreeing to Im Nayeon is the biggest mistake - but to be pulled inside the booming building, Mina’s wrist enclosed by Nayeon’s rather gigantic hand, something flashes before Mina’s eyes.</p><p>She wishes it’s not real. It feels like a movie, a stupid romance one peculiarly mixed with fantasy and science - never goes well together. She and Nayeon? It’s a no-no.</p><p>Mina looks at Nayeon’s hand. It’s still there and the flashes are starting to feel <em>too</em> real. Mina doesn’t even know why but she looks away to stop from feeling too much.</p><p>They enter the frat house.</p><p>Everyone’s mostly from the university just from different sports. The party is a point of interest or more of an after training hang out place, that Mina would assume, because if not half of the population or third of it are still wearing the university’s infamous varsity jacket.</p><p>“Do you drink?” There’s already a cup in Nayeon’s hand and not a minute has passed by since they dare enter the packed living room. The soccer player offers, extending the cup to the swimmer’s direction, but Mina declines. “Oh, okay.”</p><p>Then they somehow end up in the busiest part of the house: the kitchen where everyone is greedy to get their fill. Stacks of red cups at the island counter, and are they doing keg stands?!</p><p><em>“Um, do you wanna eat? Have you eaten?” </em>asks Nayeon when she can’t come up with something to keep Mina entertained. The keg stand doesn’t appeal to Mina, only her brows furrow together at the act.</p><p>From the kitchen, they somehow manage to get past more sweaty bodies and find themselves at the back patio.</p><p><em>“Do you wanna sit down or something?” </em>asks Nayeon when she has to pull on Mina’s wrist with more force as the swimmer lags behind.</p><p>It becomes an adventure of what’s supposed to be Nayeon’s attempt of keeping Mina company and entertained throughout this messy endeavor.</p><p><em>“We could go to the pool area if you want? It’s less stuffy there.” </em>asks Nayeon when she feels the room get a <em>little </em>crowded than the room before.</p><p><em>“You okay there?” </em>asks Nayeon even when Mina doesn’t show any kind of discomfort.</p><p>And those are only examples from the many questions that Nayeon had asked Mina for the past two hours that they’ve been inside the party house. It gets impossibly ridiculous everytime Nayeon asks because she’s being obvious at how hard she’s trying to get Mina to stay. (Mina doesn’t comment.)</p><p>But the thing with Nayeon is that she finds something more ridiculous than her trying her best for no apparent reason, is the way Mina answers all of them - her questions whether it be the stupidest or the simplest ones she could come up with, just so she could properly kill time with Mina. To add to that Nayeon is still holding onto her wrist the entire time - as though Mina is going to get carried away by the sea of people.</p><p>However, Nayeon doesn’t need to as Mina is an adult and she can handle herself pretty well. But Nayeon does it anyway.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re here to show me how to have fun? Because by the looks of it, you’re pushing yourself more than enjoying it.” Mina shouts over the loud music. They’re by the staircase next to the living room where there are less people but it’s still inaudible if they were to talk in their normal voices.</p><p>After all of that… they end up here sitting on the staircase with nothing to do. Frustration gets into Nayeon easily and it’s obviously showing as she can’t keep herself still.</p><p>“Fine!” Nayeon puts her hands up in surrender. Mina stares at Nayeon, finds nothing but pure regret and discouragement in her. Shouldn’t she be the one feeling that way and not the other way around?</p><p>“I’m not a party kind of person and my god I have been to parties like this twice and I hated it!”</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>“I went through the effort of dragging you out of the dorm so I didn’t want to waste it. I mean, have fun you know?”</p><p>Nayeon could easily be labelled and be put into a group of people that are known to party hard and they won’t suspect a thing because she looks like she’s one of them. It’s the face, she supposes. Nayeon is not even sure why she was trying so hard back there. </p><p>She has drunk a total of three cups of alcohol induced juice that was supposed to be for Mina, all because Mina doesn’t drink and Nayeon is not entirely sure why it falls upon her shoulder to drink all of it.</p><p>Nayeon runs her hands down her face and slumps to the wall, exhaustion finding it ways to her system and it doesn’t help that the alcohol is seeping in now. The frustration is evident in her face and she couldn’t bother to hide it from Mina.</p><p>The soccer player shouts in random prolonged syllables. Mina jumps a little in surprise.</p><p>“I just wanted you to have a good time!” Nayeon shouts it in all earnest and pure intention.</p><p>This is supposed to be her shot with Mina and she’s completely missed the goal. She could blame her teammates for not telling her the exact details of this supposed dinner party; especially Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung that went ghost on her!</p><p>Maybe Mina is right: this is a terrible idea!</p><p>She shouldn’t have forced Mina into this dumb plan of hers - scratch that, there’s no plan to even begin with.</p><p>Maybe the smile on Mina’s face is a pretend one, a consolation for her trying-</p><p>“-Wait, you’re smiling?” Nayeon rubs at her eyes, even blinks to make sure of what’s happening and it’s not the alcohol or whatever was there in the drinks. “You’re <em>actually </em>smiling?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Mina simply says with a smile unmistakably shining in Nayeon’s eyes.</p><p>
  <em>She’s smiling!</em>
</p><p>Nayeon can conclude right then and there that Hiria Momo is pretty but seeing the smile on Mina’s face, how it lights up her usual gloomy face, the soccer player doesn’t need to think twice that Mina is beautiful.</p><p>It’s a weird gut feeling but Nayeon can attest to her words: Myoui Mina is beautiful.</p><p>“I can’t believe you put up a front like that,” the swimmer chuckles – Nayeon thinks Mina is breaking character right now but she likes it. The smile on her face stays. “You’re a lot stubborn than I originally thought you were.”</p><p>“I can’t believe you’re actually laughing and smiling because of me?”</p><p>Mina learns that Im Nayeon tends to act like a loser, a stark contrast to how she brings herself. Nayeon could waltz her way every morning to the swimming team yet she couldn’t handle a party like this.</p><p>“But yeah, same here. I can’t believe I did that.” The soccer player breathes.</p><p>Nayeon would’ve preferred it if the silence isn’t the kind that puts two people awkward and wary of each other, the one that replaces Mina’s smile with a straight line. Her conversation starters are lame and she can’t pick up a conversation that’s been dead for minutes now so Im Nayeon settles with her ‘<em>out-of-game’ </em>impulsiveness.</p><p>“Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>As a soccer player, Nayeon can’t be impulsive and do stupid things on the field but she can’t take this stupid atmosphere and the cringe-y bass boosted song playing for too long. She takes Mina’s hand into hers (again), not as calloused as her own, and pulls her out of the house.</p><p>(It starts flashing before her eyes again. They’re back and twice as strong as before. Mina tries her best to ignore it.)</p><p>The next problem arises, Nayeon doesn’t know where to take it from here.</p><p>So, what now?</p><p>“You’re bad at this.” Mina openly says as they stand two houses away from the party with nothing to do and no plan to follow. (Nayeon’s still holding onto Mina’s hand.)</p><p>“Let’s just get some noodles. Do you fancy noodles? I don’t think I can go on without eating something tonight.”</p><p>Im Nayeon is the polar opposite of Myoui Mina. She does things as she pleases while Mina has to think it through whether it’s okay or not. Like that one time she wasted two hours debating whether she should buy a new phone case only to close the tab and continue scrolling through her phone.</p><p>Mina also learns that night that Nayeon is a messy noodle eater, specks of spices decorate the side of her lips like she’s a five year old, whereas Mina is as spotless.</p><p>The best that Nayeon could come up with is to eat instant noodles at a convenience store. It’s empty due to how late it is now. Not the best but the way it screams of how Im Nayeon would’ve wanted it.</p><p>This is better than forcing herself to drink and pretending not to be awkward. Parties are not meant for Nayeon. Gatherings and meetups are much better than those.</p><p>They sit on the counters by the window - sees their reflection, tired yet relieved to get out of the noisy hellhole. At this, Nayeon realizes that Mina is beside her.</p><p>“See, we <em>are </em>friends.” Nayeon points out, mouth chewing at the noodles.</p><p>“But not that close.” she says back and leaves the table.</p><p>Mina comes back with a handful of tissue and hands it over to the soccer player.</p><p>“Still friends.”</p><p>Yeah, friends. And Mina can’t believe she’s eating noodles with Im Nayeon at a cheap convenience store during an ungodly hour when her usual routine during this exact hour is sleeping.</p><p>But she laughs with Im Nayeon that night.</p><p>Nayeon gets to bask in Mina’s beautiful smile.</p><p>Mina thinks it’s not a mistake to agree with Im Nayeon.</p><p>
  <strong>/</strong>
</p><p>Momo notices it right away that something has shifted. Im Nayeon <em>is </em>eating twice her usual lunch meal. Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung noticed it too during training. Nayeon is on full blast for half of the scrimmage that she has to get a substitute in that short amount of time. Normally the soccer player can manage her energy well be it during training or an actual game.</p><p>“Oi Nayeon! What’s gotten into you?” asks Jeongyeon during their water break.</p><p>She wipes her sweat away with her arm. Nayeon pants and Jeongyeon hands her an unopened water bottle.</p><p>“Too much energy drink, I guess.”</p><p> /</p><p>What gives it away is when Momo looks back to check on her team. They’re all focused on finishing the morning jog and usually it’s the same people who have small talks with each other. If it’s not the two noisy boys then it has to be the three other girls at the side. But this time there are two new additions at the back: one is animatedly talking while the other is rhythmically nodding her head.</p><p>Mina <em>is </em>listening to whatever Im Nayeon is talking about.</p><p>Now that’s something new.</p><p>/</p><p>The starting pistol fires away. Everyone dives into the water and they swim as fast as they can, arms and legs working full to beat their record time. To Mina, it’s always a race between her and Momo who gets the faster time. Envy is unhealthy when it comes to competition. <em>Mina would know</em>. She’s spent long enough to figure out that she has yet to improve so she could be on Momo’s level - be better than the pearl of the water world. </p><p>Sportsmanship however? Mina still lacks on that factor - will continue to do so every time she comes in second and Momo is in first.</p><p>“Minari! Look, you broke your record!”</p><p>She should be happy about it that she’s outdone herself but she can’t help but always feel inferior and second to everything and everyone.</p><p>Mina fakes a smile, her jaw feels tight. It’s enough to stop Momo from praising her and for her friend’s attention to shift to something else. Mina is ashamed of herself with how she sees Momo and how she feels about her. They’re friends, yes, but Mina can’t help it if she has an unhealthy competitive attitude.</p><p>What could she do? At a very young age, people around her always praised her for being an excellent swimmer. She’s fast and wins every game she participates in. But it all changes because it’s the false hope that Mina hates the most because when they praised her, Mina believed every inch of it. Until she grows up and it turns out she’s not the prodigy that everyone tells her to be. That she’s just another swimmer behind someone greater.</p><p>
  <em>Behind Momo.</em>
</p><p>She learns not to believe in everything that people say - to not be innocent and naive. That competition outside her turf is tougher. That she will always be second.</p><p>It’s toxic.</p><p> /</p><p>“Mina!” Nayeon catches her walking down the steps - a wide smile that only gets brighter each time Mina sees it on the soccer player’s face. She waits for Nayeon to get around the fence. “Bad day?”</p><p>She nods.</p><p>“Let me guess, you came second? Must suck,” the soccer player singsongs as if to tease her friend.</p><p>Nayeon is insensitive. Most of the time it’s unintentional and most of the time it’s the reason why people she talks to walks away from her without realizing the gravity of her own words. It’s the same thing with Mina but Nayeon chases after her.</p><p>Nayeon is unaware that she’s just rubbed salt to an open wound - one that can’t seem to heal and be bothered to be closed.</p><p><em>It’s not her fault. </em>Mina tells herself over and over again. Nayeon doesn’t mean it. She doesn’t know.</p><p>But why does she need to be exactly on the spot? Mina hates this.</p><p>“Don’t you have practice?” is Mina’s attempt to shoo the soccer player away.</p><p>It’s weak and fails ultimately as Nayeon persists to keep her company.</p><p>“It starts as soon as you tell me what’s up.” Nayeon risks the possibility of running late yet again. Besides, this is what a friend would do. Right? Jeongyeon does this often with her when she’s pissed off and is about to punch the other team - not to that extent but the idea is there. Even Chaeyoung does it too.</p><p>“Nothing is...up.”</p><p>Mina obviously heaves a sigh. It’s bothering Nayeon enough for her to think that her guess might be right.</p><p>“And you’re down because nothing is up?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“I think it’s a yes.” says Nayeon with finality.</p><p>“Why did you even ask? Go to your training.”</p><p>Nayeon shrugs. She can hear an entire rage monologue later if it meant knowing what’s making Mina feel this down. The last time was because she accidentally heard her coach’s outburst and razor-like criticisms, that Nayeon could understand and work her way around with.</p><p>“It’s your fault if I run late, you know.”</p><p>Mina scoffs. “Is it now?”</p><p>“Yeah. If you tell me now, I won’t be late. It's as simple as counting one to three, or even to five.”</p><p>“And if I don’t?”</p><p>“Besides from me skipping practice today? I’ll be stuck with you the whole day. Horrible, isn’t it?”</p><p><em>It is. </em>Mina, as of the moment, doesn’t want anyone around. To have Im Nayeon stick around with her would mean her plan to sulk to herself would get ruined. Plus, the liability of her skipping training. Mina changes her direction.</p><p>It’s a fair play. No fouls just being smart.</p><p>“You know you can’t get rid of me so why not tell me what’s your problem? Maybe I can help. It’s what friends do!”</p><p>“Are you sure about that?” There’s a glint of quirkiness behind Mina’s voice.</p><p>And Nayeon can’t believe that she didn’t notice that they’re now walking towards the field where most of her teammates are already stretching and warming up.</p><p>“Really Mina?” she deadpans.</p><p>The swimmer acts innocent, shrugs and says, “Didn’t know we’re heading here.”</p><p>“IM NAYEON!” Yells Nayeon’s coach, still a blob in her opinion. He should cut Nayeon some slack. There’s about ten minutes left before the training starts. There’s nothing wrong (there is) if she spends the rest of it with Mina-</p><p>“Hey Mina,” Jeongyeon arrives. She puts both of her arms around Nayeon and shakes her. The soccer player retaliates and huffs. “Sorry but I’ll be stealing her now. The team needs the soccer star in Nayeon, unfortunately.”</p><p>“Goodluck.” Mina sends Nayeon off as Jeongyeon drags the unwilling player into the field.</p><p>/</p><p>Nayeon doesn’t know why the sun is blazing so damn hot today. Everyone is furiously sweating and is in dire need of replenishing their thirst. The soccer star glides through the trimmed grass in success to steal the ball from Chaeyoung’s possession. She runs towards the goal. Looking left, there’s her teammate open for a receive but she decides against it seeing the opponent speed up. To her right is another teammate, this time Nayeon kicks the ball in her direction.</p><p>The ball is received by her teammate. Nayeon slows down and tries to get in control of her breathing, finding it hard to get air into her lungs because of how hot it is.</p><p>The soccer star calls for a timeout.</p><p>“Jeong, can you sub for me?”</p><p>“Sure thing. Here,” Her best friend hands her a towel and her bottle of water.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>This is what Nayeon is talking about. Friends do favors for each other. They make sure that you’re okay even though it’s visible that you’re not okay.</p><p>After pouring the cold water to the towel, she squeezes it together to drain the towel. Not too dry, just enough so water won’t drip. Nayeon lies on the bench and covers her eyes with the towel. It’ll have to do before she passes out from the heat.</p><p>Not long after, the scrimmage comes to a close and they’re given half an hour to rest. The temperature has gone down and the sun is covered by the clouds now. Nayeon catches her breath as she lies down on the grass patch, her arm shielding her eyes from everything.</p><p>“So, you and Mina.”</p><p>Nayeon stays mum. She doesn’t have the energy to answer Yoo Jeongyeon right now and she prays that Chaeyoung won’t be joining them anytime soon. She’s <em>goddamn </em>tired.</p><p>“That party did you good, huh?” Nayeon just knows there’s a big ass smirk on Jeongyeon’s stupid face right now.</p><p>“You and Chaeyoung owe me for that. How the hell does dinner party translate into college party? I hate both of your asses.”</p><p>If Nayeon is not dead tired, she would’ve wrestled Jeongyeon down right now.</p><p>“And so? Look at what it did to you and Mina!”</p><p>“We’re friends, Jeongyeon.” Nayeon says monotonously shutting down the implied meaning of Jeongyeon’s words.</p><p>“As of the moment.”</p><p>Nayeon lifts her arm up to look at Jeongyeon ridiculously and says, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“If you keep that attitude up she’s going to end up hating you forever.”</p><p>“She’s not going to hate me <em>forever</em> and why would she hate me?”</p><p>“Exactly!” Jeongyeon muses to which Nayeon lost track of what her friend is supposed to mean.</p><p>“If you think like that, there’s a probability that the two of you are going to end up something more than friends.”</p><p>Nayeon is quick to sit up straight and land a punch to Jeongyeon’s shoulder. “Your brain needs some tinkering. Who the hell thinks like that-”</p><p>“-Do you find her pretty?”</p><p>And Nayeon says, “Beautiful” a little too fast that Jeongyeon can’t keep the wide smile from breaking out.</p><p>“<em>See.” </em></p><p>“No. Shut up, Jeongyeon.”</p><p>“<em>Goodluck.” </em>The midfielder imitates.</p><p>/</p><p>The thought did keep Nayeon up that night. Mina is beautiful - there’s no argument about that. And she thinks, if it’s possible, Mina becomes more beautiful when she’s smiling. But it stops there - that Nayeon reasons, it’s not possible for her and Mina to develop something more than friends.</p><p>Mina <em>is </em>beautiful.</p><p>/</p><p>The next time she sees Mina is after two days. Nayeon starts their conversation with another lame conversation starters, one that she’s been curious of, “Do you think string instrument majors are good at fingering?”</p><p>There’s a visible scrunch on Mina’s forehead, brows knitted together; not quite sure if she’s heard the soccer player correctly.</p><p>“What the hell?”</p><p>The idea is bizarre and creative but Mina doesn’t want to entertain that kind of thought. Besides, how the hell is she supposed to know? Her sex life is nonexistent. How does fingering correlate with string majors?</p><p>“I don’t know,” Nayeon says freely like it’s a thought that her mouth decided to casually say out loud. “If you look at it this way: since string majors mostly use their fingers, they must have good endurance using it. They even do complex strums and whatnots. What do you think?”</p><p>“It’s 7AM and you’re asking me if people who play string instruments are good at fingering?”</p><p>Nayeon grins at her. “I’m not the best at conversation starters, am I now?”</p><p>“I suppose not.”</p><p>And there is it.</p><p>It’s a small smile but Nayeon manages to catch it before it quickly disappears. Mina doesn’t know but Nayeon performs an internal victory dance in her mind for the simplest thing such as seeing her smile. It feels gratifying to see a smile blossom on Mina’s beautiful face and not the usual cold and indifferent side of her.</p><p>Mina is <em>so </em>beautiful.</p><p>/</p><p>Momo bursts out laughing during their break when Mina had told her of Nayeon’s bizarre idea. It’s boisterous yet again and Mina has to cover Momo’s mouth with her hand in embarrassment. The swimmer clutches at her stomach for laughing too much, almost wheezed when Mina had innocently asked her the same question.</p><p>“What do I think?” says Momo midlaugh.</p><p>Mina nods because, in actuality she doesn’t know, and maybe Momo might know a thing or two. Between the two of them, she’s got a record of doing the nasty.  Mina feels it’s safe to ask Momo that question.</p><p>“I think you have to find it out yourself.”</p><p>A teasing grin replaces the laugh from Momo. She’s always teasing when it comes to sex and Mina doesn’t get her.</p><p>“But I have to tell you, Im Nayeon is great in bed. Proven and experienced by me.” She winks at her and Mina could almost puke.</p><p>“You <em>banged </em>her?! In the dorms?!” She manages to whisper-shout. It’s not a luxury to know that Hirai Momo and Im Nayeon banged.</p><p>Momo laughs again and she’s holding onto Mina for life because the pain in her stomach is gradually increasing.</p><p>“Oh my god no,” says Momo. “Remember the one night stand I told you before? That’s her. I didn’t know she’s going to the same university and let alone be my roommate. It’s crazy if you think about it.”</p><p>“Hold on- Let’s me get this straight. Im Nayeon is the reason why you were sore and skipped training?”</p><p>“Correct.” Momo confirms.</p><p>Her jaw hangs at the revelation. Who knew her friends would fuck each other and then end up becoming roommates?</p><p>“I recommend you try it with her.”</p><p>Momo sends her another wink and then a kissy face, the annoying ones. It pisses Mina off for some reason and she doesn’t want to find out why.</p><p>/</p><p>The last time Momo remembers, Nayeon and Mina only see each other during their morning jogs and on rare occasions when they bump into each other in the dorms and at the campus. So, to see Nayeon literally dragging Mina to sit by the corner at the cafeteria - Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung are also bewildered at the entrance by the two athletes, Momo has to doubletake if what she’s seeing is not something out of hallucination. The fact that they sat away from them must mean <em>something</em>.</p><p>Jeongyeon and Momo share the same look, carefully nodding at the scene predicting where this would go. Chaeyoung? She just wants the strawberry shortcake that Nayeon pulls out from the paper handbag.</p><p>That day out of all the days Nayeon could’ve picked, she decides (though she’s days late) that she should buy Mina a dessert to make up for the day that she made Mina feel horrible.The reason might be because Nayeon’s been thinking about the swimmer at night some time now (and she blames Jeongyeon for sparking the idea). Though she’s not sure if it’s on her that Mina’s mood got sour that day, Nayeon still made the effort to buy the slice of cake.</p><p>“You dragged me all the way here for a strawberry shortcake?” Mina questions after Nayeon has placed the dessert in front of her.</p><p>“It’s not like that but in a way it is.”</p><p>Usually, Nayeon can explain herself thoroughly and justify things well on her own. She doesn’t know if it's healthy or normal for it to be this fast, that she can’t avoid but think about of Mina, and Jeongyeon’s stupid question if she’s pretty. It’s a yes or no question yet she answered <em>beautiful, </em>which is true in her defense. But that’s the first half of Nayeon’s problem.</p><p>The second one is how she can’t find her focus these days. And now she’s rambling about soccer shoes that Nayeon thinks Mina could care less. She's not a soccer player gosh. It’s weird to ramble but it’s weirder that she can’t focus her attention on Mina.</p><p>“Nayeon,” the swimmer calls as Nayeon rambles on and her eyes are all over the place. “You’re rambling too fast. I can’t understand anything you’re trying to say.”</p><p>Nayeon breathes of relief. Great Mina didn’t catch how she just rambled about feeling fidgety all of a sudden. God how the hell did she even manage to drag Mina all the way from the dorms to the cafeteria?</p><p>She can’t focus.</p><p>“Is your attention span always this bad? Are you stressed or what?”</p><p>“No,” Nayeon denies. “Just today.”</p><p>
  <em>It’s just you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s just Mina, Nayeon.</em>
</p><p>“Look at me, Nayeon.” Mina stresses her words as the soccer star starts fidgeting with her fingers - and god, Mina hates how she remembers her bizarre question. </p><p>
  <em>Stupid Nayeon.</em>
</p><p>Nayeon looks at Mina - her eyes specifically but she’s quick to retreat as it makes her feel queasy inside. Then she discovers the beautiful constellation on Mina’s face. The constellation made up of moles start on Mina’s forehead. The second is on the bridge of her nose then slightly below that is another mole. The fourth one is located on her philtrum. The last two are below her lip and by the chin.</p><p>The soccer player finds it easier to focus on them - especially the moles near Mina’s lips. It's placed strategically. She doesn't have to look at Mina in the eyes and she has a nice view of her soft lips. Nayeon looks at it again as a big picture, a constellation ready for view. It’s beautiful. There’s a whole constellation going on on Mina’s beautiful face and Nayeon is starting to think that this might be her favorite thing next to Mina’s smile.</p><p>She smiles as she goes over again at each mole.</p><p>Mina huffs. “You’re not listening.”</p><p>“Focusing.” Nayeon simply says, still openly appreciating the beauty marks.</p><p>“On what?”</p><p>“Nothing. Just you.”</p><p>/</p><p>Later that day, Mina stares at her face in the mirror.</p><p>
  <em>Was there something on my face?</em>
</p><p>/</p><p>Nayeon tries to stay away from Mina for the meantime, decides that she has to settle things on her own and figure out why she’s nothing but a messy stuttering loser only when it comes to Myoui Mina. She’s definitely not an idiot, just impulsive and insensitive. Not nervous, just a stuttering dumbass mess.</p><p>Unfortunately, in everything that Nayeon does there’s always a <em>but </em>or an <em>if. </em></p><p>The overall sports committee had called for a meeting at the seminar hall housing half of the clubs in the venue. It’s not as spacious when there are about thirteen other clubs in just one room that some athletes have to stand up while the talk goes on.</p><p>This being Nayeon’s third year, the talk is nothing new or of any information for her. It’s a mix between scolding juniors to do better and win some medals and schooling the soon to be seniors to take things seriously.</p><p>Nayeon snorts. She looks at Jeongyeon who’s faking that she’s listening by nodding her head along to whatever was being said. Nayeon should really take things seriously. In a way, she does take things into consideration from time to time but the problem lies whenever she hears that she needs to secure a sponsor before her graduating year.</p><p>It’s a very frustrating topic that Nayeon hates touching. Having a sponsor is everyone’s dream, it is Nayeon’s too, but to push it this early only gives her stress and nothing more. Nayeon has a lot of responsibilities hanging on her shoulder. It’s hard enough to juggle them all at once.</p><p>“Hey look it’s the swimming club!” Chaeyoung points to the seminar hall entrance.</p><p>See? There’s the but to Nayeon’s concrete plan.</p><p><em>But </em>the swimming club is here. Of course, they have to be here rather than be with the other clubs in the annex building that’s also having the same exact talk. Of course, Nayeon would look to where Chaeyoung is pointing her finger at and her eyes automatically search for Mina when she shouldn’t.</p><p>And Nayeon is weak to not to tear her eyes away when Mina’s eyes find her.</p><p>She waves at the singer, like an instinct. Not that she’s become used (she is) to this routine of always sending Mina a wave and a smile as her form of greeting. Nayeon perks up when Mina smiles back - still as small compared to the one that Nayeon had personally witnessed upfront back at the cheap convenience store while they eat noodles.</p><p>“I’m offering my seat to Momo,” says Jeongyeon who’s now motioning at a confused Momo to come over to their place. “Give your seat to Mina too.”</p><p>“Not a chance.”</p><p>“Why not? Come on be a chivalrous knight for once, the world needs it.” Jeongyeon pushes at her shoulder in an attempt to get Nayeon to move her body.</p><p>“I won’t because look at you,” Nayeon eyes her best friend from head to toe and scoffs. “Now you don’t have a seat.”</p><p>Jeongyeon shrugs and then there’s a visible grin on her face when Momo comes over. “You can sit here, Momo!” And Nayeon takes it as Jeongyeon being the stupid one for once.</p><p>“If you’re not giving up your seat then we might as well accompany Mina over there. Chaeyoung can keep Momo company.”</p><p>And there goes another <em>but </em>to Nayeon’s now crumbling plan - once great but is now in progress to go down in ruins because Jeongyeon is forcefully dragging her out of her seat and towards where Mina is with the rest of the swimming team.</p><p>Nayeon has her hands at the back clasped together. She tries not to give it much thought that Mina is beside her and how she’s an inch or two taller than her or how she has a nice view of the swimmer’s profile and one of Nayeon’s favorite things: Mina’s moles.</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No.</em>
</p><p>The hurried feeling comes back and it’s as if Nayeon can’t focus again now that she’s this close and it’s worse this time because they’re not even talking!</p><p>“You okay there?” Mina checks. From the corner of her eye, she sees Nayeon shifting weight from one foot to another looking like something is bothering her.</p><p>“I don’t know- no, I guess there’s nothing? Ha, what do you think?”</p><p>
  <em>Great.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That was so great Im Nayeon!</em>
</p><p>Jeongyeon leans in and whispers, “What the hell was that about?”</p><p>Nayeon gives her a look and shoves her back to her place. Between the boring talk and having to face Mina, Nayeon would prefer running four laps at the field today than face any of them. It’s <em>that </em>bad. But Nayeon has no choice but to look at Mina and try not to get caught staring at her moles because, as weird as it is, it calms her down and that’s where she gets her focus from.</p><p>“You’re very obvious, you know that?” Nayeon is? She points to herself and Mina nods as a matter of fact. “Just say you have a bad attention span, I won’t judge.”</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>No, Nayeon has decent to excellent focus but it’s just that Mina is making things so confusing for her. Why is she even this jittery when there’s nothing to fuss about?</p><p>But for now, she has to stop from further embarrassing herself. Nayeon does it unconsciously so as she falls for the beautiful constellation on Mina’s face, tracing them again and again, still finding each mole adorably placed and how they are able to stay in a specific area.</p><p>She pauses and gives it thought.</p><p>Mina <em>is </em>soft. Her features are sharp yet gentle and perfectly complements her elegance and grace.</p><p>Nayeon thinks it’s unfair yet a blessing to be friends with someone <em>this </em>beautiful.</p><p>“You’re doing it again,” there’s a pout on Mina’s lips. Nayeon softly melts at that - even more so when the swimmer’s brows bunch up together in confusion. Mina looks like a kid, one that expected something in her Christmas sock from Santa but gets nothing that morning when she checks.</p><p>“I don’t know if you’re staring or you’re out of it again.”</p><p>She shakes her nod. “I’m focusing.”</p><p>“On what?”</p><p>“I told you before.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make any sense!”</p><p>Mina is as confused as before. Is Nayeon staring simply because there’s something on her face? Or she just can’t get her focus back? She doesn’t want to make an assumption. Yet.</p><p>“It does for me,” says the soccer star as she regains her focus and that unerasable smile on her face.</p><p>“You’re weird.”</p><p>Nayeon pokes the area between Mina’s brows and soothes it down. “You literally told me you won’t judge me and yet here you are saying I’m weird.” She teases and gives the skin a light flick.</p><p>“Don’t tell me you’re <em>“focusing” </em>on me again.”</p><p>“Kinda am.”</p><p>“See? That’s weird. Why would you focus on me?”</p><p>Nayeon asks that question to herself too.</p><p>She shrugs. “I don’t know, Mina. I just am.”</p><p>/</p><p>"I knew it!" Jeongyeon pumps her fist up to the sky. She merrily hops beside Nayeon, a shit eating grin on her face as she looks at the superstar.</p><p>Confused, Nayeon asks. "Know what?"</p><p>"You like Mina! God! I knew it all along!"</p><p>"I do?"</p><p>Jeongyeon's face falls - disbelief painting her features as Nayeon acts aloof and unknowing. </p><p>"<em>Yeah,” </em>The midfielder says as a matter of fact. “I was there beside the two of you!" She pushes at Nayeon and it sends the soccer player tripping down the cemented road. Nayeon retaliates as she gets back up and runs after Jeongyeon to push her harder.</p><p>Imitating people is Jeongyeon's baddest asset but she tries her best anyways. "<em>I don't know, Mina. I just am." </em>Jeongyeon snorts after.</p><p>"You're graduating next year and you still act like that?" is Nayeon's attempt to get back at her friend.</p><p>"So? You're also graduating and you still can't figure things out on your own."</p><p>Ouch. That one hurts for Nayeon. Albeit true, there are a lot of things she's figured out already. Like getting into the Nationals and winning… and Nayeon sighs because she does fall short on her future plans besides bagging the trophy. Everyone tells her that it's okay for her to take her time but guess what? Nayeon is entering adulthood and if her foolproof plan somehow goes south, it’s a teary goodbye to her secured future. There's no plan B or any backup plan at all.</p><p>Besides that, Myoui Mina is a friend. She's not a responsibility and she's definitely not a part of Nayeon's future plans (yet). That if she will ever become one. She has yet to figure things out and keep herself from adding additional baggage,</p><p>"I think you should go for her."</p><p>Nayeon has another responsibility to take care of.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can find me on twitter: @yeonjvgn<br/>Oh, I also have a CC if you want to send anonymous messages or whatnot! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. a revelation of my own</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Momo mediates between her friends and finds out that not only feelings are involved.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The soccer team functions just fine without Nayeon but there's a visible difference with the superstar around. Im Nayeon is their biggest asset and addition to the team ever since she's joined the club. She's naturally skilled - fast to pick up plays, has the best in-game decisions, and is flexible to any changes that could happen. But her tardiness outweighs all of that most of the time.</p><p>Nayeon is close to being a model rising athlete.</p><p>Supposedly, Nayeon should've been in the dorm sleeping soundly on her bed. If she were, she wouldn't be running late again for training. But she’s not.</p><p>Nayeon still has a long way to run before she reaches the field, sweat now covering her skin of how the sun is striking down on her. </p><p>She's an hour late to the practice. When she does arrive however, her coach doesn't ram up his voice to the loudest possible option, her teammates are all busy training to give her importance. That's when Nayeon knew she messed it up bad this time.</p><p>Still, she is able to join the game. For dinner, she’s going to have to run five laps around the field and at least five to ten sets of their usual exercises. It’s nothing over the top; just Nayeon’s own way of repentance and redeeming act to feel less guilty from being tardy.</p><p>And whatever this bizarre environment is right now.</p><p>At the end of the session, Nayeon is quiet to approach her coach at the sidelines. With his arms crossed and an unreadable look on his face, he offers Nayeon a stare off.</p><p>Nayeon bows a perfect 90 degrees, stiff with arms tucked to her sides. “I’m sorry, I know I have no reason to justify my tardiness but I promise to do better - the best, top of my game.” It comes out more sincere than Nayeon intended it to be. </p><p>He doesn’t need Nayeon to promise him something that should already be a given. He could yell at Nayeon for as long as he wants, he is her coach anyways, yet he stands firm on his ground and could only release a loud sigh of disappointment.</p><p>The soccer player flinches, the obvious guilt ripping away her insides, tasting anything but familiarity. Disappointment is never Nayeon’s forte. She can’t take it well when given upfront. Nayeon would rather have her coach yell at him with all his might and red anger. She can take harsh words well but when it comes to feelings, this one being disappointment, Nayeon thinks she should do more than five laps.</p><p>“Do it again and I’ll have to reconsider putting you in the arsenal for the qualifiers and the Nationals.”</p><p> /</p><p>10PM.</p><p>Picking up her mint green duffle bag, Mina rushes over to the entrance where Momo waits for her. They go out of the building side by side. It has been a long day at practice, not that anything is new but being constantly on water and practicing the same routine for years could get exhausting. But it’s fruitful when Mina is able to decrease her usual record. This time, she doesn’t check on Momo’s record and focuses on her own instead.</p><p>It’s a cover up, Mina knows herself well.</p><p>The feeling of always coming second will always hurt than push her to ascend higher. Mina hates how her brain turned out to be like this. Why couldn’t she be like the others? Be an athlete that’s overflowing with sportsmanship and healthy competition.</p><p>She can’t live forever with this toxic habit of hers.</p><p>It’s draining in all aspects and much worse than her physical training.</p><p>“Isn’t that Nayeon?” Momo points at the lone running figure by the field. Mina squints her eyes trying to make out the small person. “Weird. She’s usually back at the dorm this hour.”</p><p>“Do we check on her?” Mina offers because as an athlete, she knows that it’s a dumb move to overexert yourself and exhaust your body of what it’s capable of doing. All that it’s going to give an athlete is a sore and aching body by the next morning.</p><p>As if on timing, Momo lets out a loud sneeze.</p><p>“That’s a no, huh.” says Mina.</p><p>“Sorry. Is it alright if you look out for Nayeon?” They share a smile that holds the same intent: Nayeon isn’t the best at taking care of herself.</p><p>Mina nods in understanding. She pats Momo on the shoulder and then ushers her to go hurry up before she catches a bad case of flu. Back at the soccer player, Mina wonders what on earth did Im Nayeon do now for her to still be practicing at this hour. The closer Mina gets to the field, the clearer it is that Im Nayeon is far from training. She has the weightlifting club’s tire tied to her waist, its size weighing down the athlete as it takes more strength and effort to push forward.</p><p>“Nayeon!” From the distance, Mina (tries) to yell at the soccer player.</p><p>Nayeon only pushes forward. Her breath becomes labored by the time Mina gets onto the flat portion of the field, bullets of sweat trickling down her face, Nayeon grunts.</p><p>“Oi! Are you trying to kill yourself?”</p><p>Fortunately, she’s not.</p><p>It’s an attempt to redeem herself and to lessen the guilt she’s feeling. But mainly because it’s a punishment and a reminder that if she can’t juggle between her responsibilities, Nayeon might lose everything she’s worked for. The dream is to make it to the Nationals and win it. The dream is never to slack off and be as irresponsible.</p><p>Nayeon groans.</p><p>
  <em> Two more laps. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Come on </em>
</p><p>She might collapse by the half of it or less.</p><p>Not only is Im Nayeon stubborn, she’s not a born quitter in literally everything. But as good as her in-game decisions are, it’s twice as bad when it comes to her life decisions.</p><p>The soccer star collapses on the spot, back against the ground as she gasps for dear air. The velcro belt comes off in an instant and Nayeon is free from the extra weight. She takes deep breaths of air, feeling how expanded her lungs are, then exhales just as much.</p><p>Mina emerges from the corner of Nayeon’s eye. The swimmer squats beside her - a ridiculous look on her face as she looks at Nayeon. If Nayeon continued what she was doing, she would be wheezing by now and thank god she didn’t because Myoui Mina is right beside her. That’d be embarrassing.</p><p>“It’s almost midnight, what are you still doing here?” She asks as she searches her duffle bag for an extra dry towel.</p><p>Nayeon is too tired to lift her arms and she swears she saw Mina roll her eyes at her. Still, the swimmer takes it into her own hands to wipe the sweat on Nayeon’s face.</p><p>“Thanks.”</p><p>“You should go inside. The temperature is about to drop, come on.”</p><p>“I can’t.” Nayeon simply says.</p><p>“Why not? What is it about now?”</p><p>Nayeon closes her eyes. “If you tell me why you were upset before I’d tell you why.”</p><p>“I hate that you’re this stubborn and childish all at the same time. How do you cope with that?”</p><p>“Mina, the last time I checked I’m not your business not in a rude way of course, but in a way you are mine. But what I’m trying to say is that, god- I’m so thirsty!”</p><p>Mina hurriedly finds her water bottle after the series of coughs that came from Nayeon. Now sitting in an upright position, Nayeon downs the bottle in one go. She prays it doesn’t flow down into the wrong pipe.</p><p>“I didn’t get what you were saying.”</p><p>“You don’t always get what I say, Mina.”</p><p>Mina likes to argue because most of the time Nayeon spends it rambling incoherent sentences that Mina can’t pick up and follow along, but she’s kind enough not to.</p><p>“Then make me understand!”</p><p>“Make you understand what?”</p><p><em> See </em>? Mina can’t think of any reason why Im Nayeon’s thoughts are all over the place. It’s like she’s always having a difficult time focusing and gathering her ideas into coherent words and sentences.</p><p>“You’re all over the place, Nayeon.”</p><p>“I’m not, <em> Mina. </em>” she argues back.</p><p>“Can you please focus?”</p><p>
  <em> Look at me. </em>
</p><p>Would Nayeon rather look anywhere but her?</p><p>“No.”</p><p>This time it’s Mina’s turn to groan. “Why not?”</p><p>Nayeon doesn’t look at her and trains her sight to Mina’s water bottle. “You’re going to think I’m weird, again.”</p><p>“Why? Because you’re going to ‘focus’ on me again?”</p><p>“Yes,” Nayeon breathes - heat spreading through her neck that she has to open the water bottle again to splash the remaining content on her gradually burning skin.</p><p>Mina holds herself back. She is not going to make an assumption out of this. It’s still too early for that.</p><p>Receiving nothing but a silent stare, Nayeon exclaims “<em>See? </em>Now you think I’m weird!”</p><p>“I thought you were weird even before this,” says Mina.</p><p>Nayeon turns to look at the other athlete. Her guts churning and the hurried feeling returns the more she looks at the blossoming smile on Mina’s face. Is she teasing her?</p><p>“But I’m not!” She hides behind her hair. Nayeon could only take so much emotion at once when it comes to Mina.</p><p>“Change my mind then.”</p><p>Now’s the time not to embarrass herself, and maybe get an answer for her own sake? Nayeon has a lot to lose but not this one.</p><p>They play the waiting game. Between the two of them, Nayeon is the clear loser and at the losing side of things. She peeks from the strands of her hair that serves as cover and sees Mina patiently waiting. Breathing deep, Nayeon looks up and fixes her hair behind her ears.</p><p>Keeping eye contact with Mina, “Remember that time I bought you cake?” The swimmer nods at the recent memory.</p><p>“Great, well um- I don’t know but I think it started there?” She bites her lip, lost in how to continue <em> this. </em></p><p>“Losing focus?” Mina suggests.</p><p>Nayeon crosses her arms and shakes her head. “No.”</p><p>“No? Then what is it?”</p><p>“Jeongyeon told me something weird before that but that’s not important. Yeah, maybe losing focus is part of it but you know how you’re suddenly jittery for no reason?” Mina nods, not in understanding but to let Nayeon know that she’s listening and trying to keep up with her thoughts.</p><p>“It’s kinda like that with you,” Nayeon finally admits. “I don’t know what it is about but I seriously think you’re beautiful. And I don’t mean to freak you out when I stare at you, I’m trying to get my focus back on you. It’s crazy, you know? I get jittery because of you yet you’re also the reason I find focus.”</p><p>It’s not instant, and Nayeon is not going to lie that this got her heart pounding and running, but Mina keeps her smile and Nayeon catches the way it gets wider in the slightest way. But it’s quick to disappear and Nayeon’s heart sinks.</p><p>“So what do you think?”</p><p>Mina blinks. “I think you need to go to sleep.”</p><p>“Yeah,” She breathes. “I think I do.”</p><p>/</p><p>That night, Mina had supported Nayeon back to the dorm, and fortunately got a hold of Momo before her arm could die out from the weight of the soccer player. Nayeon had pathetically excused herself to get Mina to help her walk back to the dorms because her body suffers the consequences of going beyond capacity.</p><p>At the same night, Nayeon lies awake, completely still, eyes wide staring at the ceiling. Momo’s already asleep and it feels like the moon and Nayeon are the only ones awake.</p><p>But Mina tosses and turns on her bed.</p><p>Neither could sleep but thankfully it’s a Friday tomorrow which means leisure day.</p><p>/</p><p>“Hey, Momo.” Nayeon calls from her bed as her roommate moves around the room organizing her things from the ground to the closet. Hirai Momo is not the tidiest person out there but she tries her best to avoid things to look like a dumpster.</p><p>“What do you think about me?” The soccer player asks, and after what she’s done and said last night to Mina she thinks it proper to have an outside view of her.</p><p>For the record, Mina didn’t say anything nor give her an answer.</p><p>“What I think of you?” Momo repeats.</p><p>“Yeah, of me. Am I weird or something? That kind?”</p><p>“Jeongyeon did say a couple of things about you.” Momo sits on her bed adjacent to the soccer player. At first glance, Nayeon <em> is </em> hot. For her to think of herself as weird must come from her personality, that Momo assumes. But as of the moment and after all the time they’ve spent together as roommates and as friends, Nayeon is weird in a good way. She’s not peculiar either. Nayeon’s weird is between acting uncharacteristically at times and being a little <em> too </em>enthusiastic when Mina is around the area.</p><p>“You’re kinda weird but not weird, you get me?” Nayeon hums in agreement. “But to me you’re more of a loser than weird.”</p><p>“How the hell am I a loser?”</p><p>Hearing the soccer player scoff, Momo snickers. “Apart from soccer, I mean.”</p><p>“That doesn’t answer my question, you know. Doesn’t make any sense at all.”</p><p>“You don’t make sense at most times too.”</p><p>Another begrudgingly moan comes out of Nayeon, “Now you sound like Mina! Why does it have to be Mina! God help me!”</p><p>“Mina?” asks Momo with her brow raised in curiosity. “What about Mina?”</p><p>She can’t spend the rest of her time listening to Nayeon groan all day long. Momo has things to do, they’re not that important but still, Mina is in the equation now so that’s going to count for something and for Momo to change her priorities for today.</p><p>“Do you <em> like </em>my friend?” Momo probes and lightly kicks Nayeon by the shin to get her attention back.</p><p>“And now we have Jeongyeon! Does everyone assume I like Mina?”</p><p>
  <em> Who wouldn’t? </em>
</p><p>“I mean, who doesn’t?” Momo adds.</p><p>“I know!”</p><p>Im Nayeon is hard to talk to when her thoughts are all over the place and most of the time contradicting one another. Momo sighs, “Did something happen between you and Mina?”</p><p>“Nothing happened,” Nayeon confesses as she sits on her bed with her legs crossed facing Momo. “I don’t know, do I like Mina? Does it look like I <em> like-like </em>her?”</p><p>“What opinion do you want? The as a friend kind of like or the as a possible romantic interest kind of like?”</p><p>Possible romantic interest? Now that is new to Nayeon. Though she’s had a few relationships before, this one sits rather bizarre to her. It’s happening too fast for Nayeon’s liking. It’s too fast she can’t comprehend her emotions and feelings.</p><p>“Both, I guess?”</p><p>“Okay then,” Momo smiles and then dramatically ties her hair up as if to give Nayeon the life lesson that she never knew she’s going to need and hear.</p><p>/</p><p>It didn’t help Nayeon. Momo had clearly drawn a distinct line that Nayeon is stepping into the territory of catching feelings for Mina. While that was a clear and solid opinion from an unbiased source, Nayeon needs more verification.</p><p>Momo starts questioning her then.</p><p>Has Mina ever made her heart beat fast?</p><p>Nayeon groans. <em> She has. </em></p><p>That was indicator number one as Momo had mentioned to her. The next thing on Momo’s list is: have you done something stupid for the sake of Mina?</p><p>Another groan.</p><p><em> Twice at that. </em>Exhibit A is when they went to the stupid party; Nayeon had tried her best for Mina back there for no absolute reason. She just did. Exhibit B is when Nayeon had pulled Mina down on the grass field despite knowing nothing and establishing nothing with her. She even fed her lunch on her own accord!</p><p>Those were lovely moments yet they give Nayeon the impression that she’s acting uncharacteristically for Mina’s sake.</p><p>Then Momo hits her with another question, “Do you think about Mina <em> a lot?” </em></p><p>“No,” Nayeon firmly states and says another unnecessary and unfiltered thought, “But I do focus on her.”</p><p>“<em>You focus on her?”  </em>Momo repeats and tries to hide a smile nearly cracking.</p><p>The soccer player carefully nods and remembers the first time she did it. “Yeah, you know how her moles are in one align in the center of her face? It’s beautiful. Have you noticed that?”</p><p>“<em>And why do you do that?” </em></p><p>Nayeon shrugs to which Momo finds hilarious that the soccer player is unknowingly rambling and revealing herself. It feels like she’s become Nayeon’s uncalled personal counsellor all of a sudden.</p><p>“I can’t focus when she’s close so I guess I found a solution by looking at anything but her eyes. My thoughts are all over the place when she’s there and it’s like I have to warm myself up before I can properly think the way I do.”</p><p>“Okay,” Momo breathes in relief. “We have our answer.”</p><p>“We do?”</p><p>Momo nods. “The bottom line is: you’re not stepping into the territory of catching feelings anymore-”</p><p>“-I’m not?” Interrupts Nayeon.</p><p>“You’re already in it. Just lost and wondering, like you need to find your way through before you come to your senses and realize it’s there. Seriously, you mapped out the moles on her face?”</p><p>“They’re beautiful, okay?” Nayeon tries to justify.</p><p>Momo squeals and jumps on Nayeon that sends them falling down onto the mattress. Nayeon groans at the sudden weight crash, her muscles aching at that, and tries to push Momo off of her.</p><p>She doesn’t get off no matter how hard Nayeon tries.</p><p>“I knew it! I knew something was wrong when I saw you all smiley and pumped up the day after the party!”</p><p>Momo’s theory of something has shifted is now proven true - the little details all coming together as she pieces it one by one all thanks to Im Nayeon coming to her senses unknowingly: the shift between Nayeon’s feelings towards Mina.</p><p>It’s all thanks to the commotion Momo is making that they were unable to hear the continuous knocks on the door which Mina emerges from looking lost and confused as to why Hirai Momo is on top of Im Nayeon.</p><p>“Oh- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt!”</p><p>Momo tumbles back down on the ground as Nayeon finds the strength and pushes her off and sprints past Mina to the door.</p><p>“It’s not what you think it is,” Nayeon quickly explains, her hand at the back searching for the knob so she can properly shut the door and avoid the possible exit of Mina.</p><p>“I wasn’t horny!” Momo quickly defends herself as she stands up from the ground, hands in the air.</p><p>Nayeon glares at her roommate that has the same unfiltered mouth as hers. As she’s about to approach Mina, one of Nayeon’s legs gives in but Mina is quick enough to catch her before she falls flat on the floor.</p><p>“Bedridden it is.” groans Nayeon.</p><p>Mina remains quiet, hand securely wrapped around the soccer player’s waist, helping Nayeon to get back on her bed. Momo sends Nayeon a quick teasing wink. Fortunately for Momo, the athlete can’t reach her and Mina stops her from excessively moving.</p><p>“What brings you here?” Momo asks and acts as casual as she returns to folding her clothes then organizing the folded ones in her closet.</p><p>Mina thinks Momo has to tone down her shopping sprees because Momo’s personal belongings are gradually filling up the dorm space.</p><p>“I just wanted to check up on Nayeon.” Mina spares Nayeon a look, and doesn’t linger too much acknowledging Momo’s presence.</p><p>“<em>You do?” </em>says Nayeon in a whisper.</p><p>“Nayeon’s fine, she’s got me.” Momo declares to which Nayeon refutes with, “The last time I checked, being on top of me doesn’t equate to taking care of me.”</p><p>“Well,” Momo drags and she hints of something that Mina is quick to catch on. “The last time I was <em> on top </em> of you <em> before </em> this, I was doing <em> so so good </em>. Remember?” says Momo in a tune.</p><p>Mina interrupts the banter as she lets out a purposeful cough. “Are you two like, friends with benefits now?”</p><p>“What- no! That’s disgusting!”</p><p>Momo sends a powerful kick to Nayeon’s bed as if offended that the athlete is  close to barfing with the mention of their relationship. They <em> are </em>friends that happens to had sex before they knew they were going to be roommates.</p><p>“I’m not saying you’re disgusting Momo. The ‘friends with benefits’ thing is.” Nayeon briefly explains. “We’re friends.” says Nayeon with finality before Mina gets another wrong signal.</p><p>“<em> Good friends. </em>” argues Momo. “Now that you know Nayeon is doing fine, do you wanna go out shopping?”</p><p>All of Momo’s freshly washed clothes are now folded neatly and secured properly inside her closet thanks to Mina’s lending hand.</p><p>“Again?” Mina sits beside Momo.</p><p>“For food and snacks.” Momo smiles her sweetest at Mina trying to lure her into her not so discreet plan of having her help carry the groceries. “We can buy treats for Nayeon too.”</p><p>“I’m not a dog, you know.” interrupts Nayeon. </p><p>“Oh hush, it’s free. Mina’s paying for you.”</p><p>“I am?”</p><p>“Kind of. Come on, soccer player Im Nayeon can take care of herself while we’re gone!”</p><p> /</p><p>In truth, it is Momo’s not so carefully yet quickly devised plan when Mina had barged inside their room. It’s more of an interrogation process rather than selecting varieties of food and snacks that should go inside their cart. Mina’s finding it hard and annoying to go through the aisle with Momo beaming at her with the stupidest smile on her face.</p><p>And that smile on Momo’s face gets deeper and wider when she asks, “What’s Nayeon’s favorite snack?”</p><p>Momo pushes their cart and stops when Mina stops at the chocolate section of the aisle, her elbow on the handle as her face rests on her hand.</p><p>“Can you stop smiling like that? It’s creeping me out.” says Mina after she glances back at Momo.</p><p>Mina takes her time choosing which snack she should get for Nayeon. Momo never actually meant that Mina should pay for the soccer player but what can she do? Mina’s taken it seriously to the point that her brows are bunched up together as she compares two chocolate brands side by side.</p><p>It’s cute.</p><p>
  <em> They’re cute together. </em>
</p><p>Momo also takes her time with Mina. Smiles even wider when all of Nayeon’s excerpts are true: Mina’s moles and where they’re located. She’s never taken this much detail about her friend before because who does that? Stare at their “friend” and map out every detail that you can then say they’re beautiful without sounding in love?</p><p>Momo snickers. Apparently, Im Nayeon does.</p><p>“You’re acting weird, Momoring.”</p><p>“Between me and Nayeon who do you think is weirder?”</p><p>Mina chooses a chocolate bar with nuts in them for Nayeon while hers is a cookies and cream flavored one. Momo pushes again at their cart as Mina continues their journey in the mart.</p><p>“You are. Stop smiling like a psycho, seriously. Nayeon’s better than you if you keep this up.”</p><p>Momo pretends to be hurt but her smile stays on her lips. “In what way is Nayeon better?”</p><p>“She doesn’t push things? You’re with her, why are you asking me?”</p><p>Momo rolls her eyes. She can only take one idiot between Mina and Nayeon and Momo would rather it be Nayeon. This won’t do it. She can’t smile and breeze her way through Mina.</p><p>“<em> Okay, Mina. </em>Let’s say, it’s just a thought, don't think about it too much, but what if you catch feelings for Nayeon?”</p><p>Mina returns the box of sweets back on the shelf. She turns to look at Momo, finds her more serious than the usual smiley and easygoing Momo. Things turn around in a flash.</p><p>“You didn’t bring me here to shop, did you?” Mina points out.</p><p>Momo knows Mina can put two and two together fast, complete the puzzle faster than she can. Her question is obvious enough to let Mina know her true intentions.</p><p>“I guess not,” Momo stands up straighter.  “<em> So?” </em></p><p>Mina sniggers that she’s going to have <em> this </em>conversation with Momo inside a mart. Somewhere around the campus would’ve been a better alternative. But Momo’s gaze turn sharper; it cuts Mina away from her own small bubble.</p><p>“Are we seriously having this conversation here?”</p><p>“Yes! And stop prolonging the inevitable.” Momo huffs. “You’re keeping Nayeon around. I don’t think it’s for the sake of friendship anymore, Mina.”</p><p>“Are you serious right now?” says Mina, exasperated. “How did you come up with that assumption?”</p><p>“I am,” Momo deadpans. “It’s too fast, Mina. You let her in when I don’t expect you to. I see you with her when you shouldn’t even be there in the first place.”</p><p>
  <em> Too fast. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The flashes return but they disappear just as fast. </em>
</p><p>It scares Mina. Back at the party with Nayeon holding her, it flashed before her. It’s too fast that it feels like she’s going to crash and burn. People always say that the right things take time and one shouldn’t rush into things. She looks up at her friend, Momo visibly softens.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Momo approaches Mina only to see the look on her face. “Hey, it’s okay. I overstepped- I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry, Mina.”</p><p>Mina shakes her head. “It scares me, Momo.”</p><p>“What does?”</p><p>“Back at the party, everything flashed before me- a whole relationship with Nayeon and I don’t think I’m enough for that. For her.”</p><p>Like a story written that all Mina has to do is read through the pages, live it out how she’s supposed to, but she can’t. It’s a push and pull to have things go her way and it feels as though she’s going to tear the pages apart any moment.</p><p>Mina’s heart constricts - albeit painful, she feels hollow. She feels like losing Nayeon even when she isn’t hers yet. Feels like she’s never making it past the starting point. It’s scary and Mina fears that she won’t be enough. What if Nayeon leaves her?</p><p>Why can’t she dive head in first and not break even if she hits rock bottom? Why can’t she swim against the currents and past her insecurities? Nayeon is there yet she holds back.</p><p>It’s taking everything in Mina not to break down in front of Momo and show her how weak she is. Momo is one of the currents Mina has to swim past before she can get to Nayeon, get over her stupid insecurity towards her friend.</p><p>If she stays longer in the ocean current, she’s going to drown.</p><p>/</p><p>Since Nayeon pulled another tardy card (and hopefully her final) last week, she’s been staying at the field to practice overtime. Taking into consideration how her body ached before, Nayeon does it in moderation this time around. The tire she had put on last week was a big pain in the ass and literally at her hips. It’s too heavy for her. She must be crazy desperate for her to run three laps with the tire attached to her body.</p><p>She’s never doing that again!</p><p>Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung have been reminding her not to push it too much and overdo herself. They tell her that it’s better if she rests properly on time than spend the extra hours running around the track and practicing with the ball. <em> “You’re naturally skilled, just work on your punctuality. Trust me, it’ll get you places.” </em>Chaeyoung once told her.</p><p>But it helps Nayeon take her mind off things, to have the night alone and all to herself. Lying down on the ground, seeing the night clouds pass by her, Nayeon prefers it this way. It’s exhausting yet gratifying to do so.</p><p>She doesn’t want to think about getting benched for the qualifiers or the Nationals let alone be eliminated for the possible lineup. Nayeon exhales deep. Working hard is not enough.</p><p>The soccer player runs for another two laps.</p><p>In the middle of it, Nayeon abruptly stops and lets her body collapse down on the ground, and briefly forgets that her phone is in her pocket. The device hits her bone which sends her groaning in pain. She’s too tired to continue. It serves as consolation that her body won’t undergo another bedridden phase.</p><p>She wishes Mina would magically appear beside her.</p><p>With Mina it feels like she’s winning.</p><p>With Mina, Nayeon momentarily forgets the loss that tainted her career, her position in the team, her dream.</p><p>A loss that felt like her nightmares came to life.</p><p>Nayeon had lost.</p><p>Two years to be exact and the same year she got in the club. Nayeon knew she had the skills to get into the official team without breaking much sweat, an easy pass to get closer to her dream of winning the Nationals. When the opportunity presented itself to Nayeon, she snatched it as fast as she could before anyone else could.</p><p>Winning the College League is a crucial step for Im Nayeon. It’s one of the few doors that’s going to lead her to the National Team. She can’t mess it up. Not even after hearing her seniors backstab her and belittle her.</p><p>Nayeon was stable.</p><p>
  <em> Was. </em>
</p><p>Words that are thrown like knives towards her isn’t the reason why she deteriorated.</p><p>They’ve managed to sweep the qualifiers, practicing from morning to night and then beating opponents on the field during competition proper. That was everything Nayeon had worked hard for but she knows it shouldn’t stop there.</p><p>Comes the day of the College League. Nayeon had spent her hours solely on training and improving, practicing plays and throwing calls all for them to go down the drain when she doesn’t show up ten minutes before the match proper. Her coach before was different, not the red angry blob she has right now, and had actually and genuinely looked out for Nayeon. He cared for her, searched for her in every corner of the arena.</p><p>Nayeon is nowhere to be found.</p><p>The rising soccer player had hailed a cab the moment she got the call, instructed the driver to speed to the address.</p><p>Nayeon had lost when she arrived at the hospital.</p><p>Knocking past the nurses, her aunt had held her back before she could burst into the emergency room. Tears were streaming down on both faces, grief and hollow lost gnawing at their hearts as the words, “<em> I’m sorry, she couldn’t make it.” </em>were out for Nayeon and her aunt to grieve at.</p><p>Nayeon had lost her sister in an accident.</p><p>The one last fight she stood up for, she gripped the white coat that the doctor wore, holding back the devastating ache between her chest she dared asked, “J-Jihyeon? Is she alive?”</p><p>Jihyeon is Nayeon’s last fight and sliver of hope.</p><p>Nayeon had built herself from pieces because of Jihyeon.</p><p>Everything that Nayeon is pouring her soul and sweat into is because of Jihyeon. Seeing the sweetest smile from Jihyeon serves as Nayeon’s own medication and reminder to continue and go on.</p><p>It’s only (stupidly) proper for her to push through her limits.</p><p>
  <em> This is for Jihyeon. </em>
</p><p>/</p><p>A week later, Nayeon buys Momo another serving. It isn’t necessary for her to do so because Momo is staying longer than Nayeon expects her to.</p><p>It’s been over a week since Nayeon has been with Mina. Not that it’s unsettling for her to not have the assurance of Mina around her, it just doesn’t sit right with her.</p><p>Momo had a ridiculous look on her face when Nayeon had asked if she’s got a hold of Mina because after all the times she could’ve asked, Nayeon stops herself.</p><p>“She didn’t tell you? Mina has a competition tomorrow,” Momo presses her phone open to check the time. “She should be practicing or stretching right now.”</p><p>Of course, Mina’s not going to tell her.</p><p>Nayeon could only offer Momo an awkward smile, bobbing her head.</p><p>/</p><p>The swimmer opts to drown herself with tunes to keep her head in the game, breaking focus is the last thing Mina needs right now. It’s 5AM and she’s on the way to the competition that her coach had signed her up for; told her that it’s going to help her up with getting a sponsor.</p><p>Sunrises are never Mina’s favorites. She prefers sunsets like how she prefers winter from summer. They’re the perfect mood setters for someone like her. Nothing much goes on during those times. It’s the calm after the unnecessary fuss. They last longer and Mina can savor it until it’s gone.</p><p>Now that the sun is set, Mina heads inside the building.</p><p>She could only do her best to not disappoint herself.</p><p>Mina can’t lose, much like Nayeon.</p><p>/</p><p>“Chaeyoung!” Jeongyeon runs over to the bench. Hands securely placed on both sides of her hips, the midfielder sighs again. “Have you seen Nayeon?”</p><p>The short but agile player shakes her head in response.</p><p>“Where the hell could she be now? I thought she was buying us lunch today.”</p><p>“Have you tried calling Momo? Maybe she knows where Nayeon is.”</p><p>/</p><p>Nayeon going on missing sprees is nothing new and is not a secret to the soccer team.</p><p>And Jihyeon is not a secret but her existence is limited to Nayeon and her relatives. Jihyeon is the only valid reason why Nayeon would go out and miss out on her training. She has to be there when her aunt calls and tells her Jihyeon is sick and at the hospital. Aside from that there has not been a proper time for Nayeon to introduce her niece (now she calls Jihyeon her own baby) to her friends especially to Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung but it so happens that Momo saw her that afternoon with Jihyeon at a chicken restaurant that’s hidden to the university.</p><p>Had Momo assumed that the two-year-old child was Nayeon's? She did.</p><p>Does Nayeon know how Momo ended up in this part of the area? She doesn’t.</p><p>“I didn’t know you had a child!” Shock is an understatement to how blown away Momo is right now to see a kid peering up at her soul as if analysing the smallest details. Nayeon explains the situation to Momo after she’s calmed down.</p><p>“You legally adopted her, right?” Momo asks further. Seeing Im Nayeon with a two-year-old perched at her lap all the while she feeds Jihyeon is extremely fascinating. Momo rarely hears and experiences occurrences like this.</p><p>Nayeon has that look in her eyes that tells Momo she’s willing to give up anything and everything for this little girl. It contradicts how Nayeon is the usual insensitive ass of a person. When Jeongyeon comes running to Momo most of the time during lunch it becomes an automatic session of yapping and ranting away of how her best friend had let her mouth run again.</p><p>“Do Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung know about Jihyeon?”</p><p>Trying to get the little girl open up to her, Momo stabs a bite sized piece of chicken and offers it to Jihyeon. Her heart melts when the girl happily eats the meat - a smile so innocent and of pure happiness makes it even better.</p><p>“She’s so cute,” Momo coos, gently rubbing the back of her arched finger to Jihyeon’s soft baby cheeks.</p><p>Nayeon smiles. “She is.”</p><p>She’s been considering it: introducing Jihyeon to her friends. But now that the qualifiers are near, Nayeon decides against the idea. It will have to happen sometime in the future.</p><p>This one, Nayeon has to win it for Jihyeon.</p><p>/</p><p>
  <em> Bang! </em>
</p><p>Mina dives, reflexes kicking in.</p><p>She races to the end.</p><p>/</p><p>Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung leave the field after Nayeon promises she’ll be back in the dorm before the crack of dawn, alive and not wheezing her lungs out.</p><p>Today has been a rollercoaster kind of ride, a mini one. Momo’s met Jihyeon and is happy to see how positive Momo has received her. Nayeon even learns that Momo is awkward with kids, and she had loads of fun teasing her about it on their way back to the campus.</p><p>Nayeon doesn’t mind the grind she has yet to put because of missing half of the practice. It’s not as severe as before knowing that they only had drills and no proper routines.</p><p>Her day is going well and Nayeon hopes that Mina’s day is too, curious if Mina’s won the competition.</p><p>The thought of Mina makes Nayeon smile – a medal hanging on her neck, smiling and proud at what she’s accomplished.</p><p>Her phone starts ringing.</p><p>Nayeon picks up absentmindedly. “Hello?”</p><p><em> “It’s 12AM Nayeon, where are you?” </em>Momo says through the line.</p><p>“At the field. Don’t worry I’ll come around, I just need to rest. What’s up?”</p><p>
  <em> “The dorm’s having a movie night at the lounge. Apparently, the volleyball team is buying us food and the track team are on the drinks, alcohol-free though. But I think that won’t last too long.” </em>
</p><p>Nayeon giggles. “Fine. I’ll be there.”</p><p>Slinging her duffle bag on the shoulder, Nayeon heads to the nearest shower room around the field. Her phone rings again the moment she gets out of the shower.</p><p>“Momo?”</p><p>
  <em> “Can you get me pads before you come back?” </em>
</p><p>“Really, now?” Nayeon groans. “I’m on my way to the dorm, Momo.” She lies, excited to get back and jump into a feast as she’s starving from the extra hours spent training.</p><p><em>“Please?</em> <em>I’ll reserve you three cups of noodles if you do it.”</em></p><p>Now that’s cheating and very tempting for Nayeon not to take the offer.</p><p>“Ugh, fine. It better be cooked when I get there.”</p><p>Checking the time on her phone, it reads 12:30AM. It makes Nayeon sigh that she has given up a few hours of sleep so she might as well go at it. There’s no morning jog tomorrow anyways.</p><p>Her phone rings again.</p><p>“<em> Ya Im Nayeon” </em>Hearing Yoo Jeongyeon call her like a backstreet person, she rolls her eyes. “What do you want Jeongyeon?”</p><p>“You’re going to the convenience store, right? Chaeyoung’s also on her way can you help her smuggle beer? The track team’s paying for it anyways.”</p><p>Nayeon is confused. “How did Chaeyoung get involved in this? Is it because of her friend again? The one that’s from the archery club?”</p><p>“You mean Dahyun? Kind of, Sana’s all over her so she dragged Chaeyoung into the conversation.”</p><p>“Sana? Who’s that?”</p><p>“Senior track member. <em> The </em>Minatozaki Sana.” It’s been three years since Jeongyeon had seen and briefly met the track player, and three years (still) of her being in denial that Sana can actually run when she often trips over nothing.</p><p>Nayeon hears Momo through the line laughing and conversing with other athletes. “You’re with Momo right now aren’t you? Tell her she owes me another free lunch. She could’ve asked Chaeyoung to get her pads. I was on my way back, now I’m walking extra!”</p><p>She hears Jeongyeon snickers. “The two of you have a weird way of thinking and processing things. By the way, don’t get caught or we’ll never have another movie night like this again.”</p><p>“You two are the worst,” Nayeon groans, bids Jeongyeon goodbye then calls off the line.</p><p>Nayeon gets to the convenience store first, annoyed at having to keep fixing her duffle bag that keeps slipping off her shoulder. Grabbing two packs of Momo’s requested pads, Nayeon ventures to the beverages section. It reminds Nayeon of how she ridiculously drank cups of alcohol for the sake of Mina.</p><p>These days, Nayeon can’t get a hold of Mina even during their morning jogs. Even Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung find it weird to have Nayeon running beside them. There’s a running joke between the soccer team that it’s an eyesore to have Im Nayeon jog with them when she’s literally joined the swimming team.</p><p>Maybe Nayeon could try drinking a bottle of her own tonight since today went well for her. A little celebration for the good things that overweighs the bad.</p><p>“Nayeon?<em> ”  </em></p><p>Nayeon jumps, clutching at her chest at the surprising presence. Her fist ready to swing but stops midway to see Mina.</p><p>She lets out a breath of relief. “Don’t scare me like that! I could’ve hit you!”</p><p>Wait- Shouldn’t it be Chaeyoung running the errand for Jeongyeon? Unless.. She sniggers piecing the bits of information together. Of course they’re going to make a way for Nayeon to meet Mina. <em> Of course Jeongyeon and Momo would do that. </em></p><p>
  <em> Those two are unbelievable! </em>
</p><p>Mina has two baskets full of beverages already and they’re all alcoholic drinks ranging from beer to soju. Three bottles of each kind.</p><p>“That’s a lot,” Nayeon points out. She opens her duffle bag to check if there’s any space for them to smuggle it in without getting caught. Nayeon groans. “We need to sneak around the building. That’s a lot, it won’t fit inside my bag.”</p><p>After paying for all the bottles, Nayeon pulls Mina to the tables by the window. There’s a look on the swimmer’s face that bothers Nayeon.</p><p>“How’s the competition?” She sits down, tentative if this is the right time to talk about this subject.</p><p>Mina doesn’t react.</p><p>
  <em> Is it enough? </em>
</p><p>Coming in second means that possible sponsors will have to reconsider taking Mina in. She’s been doing so well in winning places that are always behind the number one. For someone like  Mina, that’s a big blow to her ego. Was that all that she practiced for? To come in second? Always?</p><p>At this point, Nayeon is talking to a brick wall as Mina blankly stares ahead. She frowns, brows coming together. Nayeon snaps her fingers hard, does it several times until Mina blinks and looks up at her.</p><p>“Is it that bad?” </p><p>Still settling for silence, Nayeon has no other choice but to pull her phone out and hopes that Mina’s name comes first in the searches alongside today’s competition. Skipping the first few introductory paragraphs of the article, Nayeon finally locates the list of winners.</p><p>“You came second?” Bewildered, her jaw slightly hangs open. “You’re upset that you came in second? Wow.”</p><p>Hurt flashes in Mina’s eyes. It stings and Mina doesn’t need it slapped to her face again.</p><p>“I get it. Don’t worry, every athlete has their own perception of what winning and losing is. But you, I think you’re amazing and you did enough.”</p><p>“That doesn’t erase another second place in my record, you know that. Sponsors are hard to come by and I need to pull a first to secure one.”</p><p>“Hold on,” Nayeon leaves and later returns with a granola bar handing it over to Mina. “That’s consolation from me, I don’t have cash with me right now so… But, we still have next year. It means a lot to me too. If I don’t get a sponsor or be scouted for the National Team, it’s going to suck big time. Coming second isn’t going to stop you from getting a sponsor, it’s going to come. Not now, probably, but it will and you sulking over coming second won’t matter once you get it.”</p><p>“And if I <em> don’t </em>get it?”</p><p>“Why are you so pessimistic? Momo’s told me how great of a swimmer you are-”</p><p>“-I’m not as good as her!” Retorts Mina raising her voice.</p><p>“You don’t have to be as good as Momo! You’re not supposed to compare yourself with other athletes, that’s like the unspoken code and if you can’t do that you’re going to be stuck - competition is good but if you do it this way, it’s unhealthy. Stop looking at Momo and focus on your own lane. You’re not going to win if you keep looking at your opponents, look ahead Mina.”</p><p>Mina blinks the tears away from streaming down, picks up the plastic bag full of alcohol. “Can we just go?”</p><p>Again, Nayeon doesn’t push her way with Mina. She never does.</p><p>/</p><p>“Mina wait up,” Nayeon huffs. She holds up a hand then tries to stretch her muscles. “God that hurts- okay, how do we do this?”</p><p>Mina carries the plastic bag that contains the other bottles that weren’t able to fit inside the bag. She bites her lower lip in worry and says, “No one’s patrolling outside the dorm right now so we need to go through a window.”</p><p>Thankfully in that short span of time walking to the dorms calmed Mina down from her bubbling emotions. </p><p>“What?” Nayeon gasps. “Jeongyeon told you to do that didn’t she?”</p><p>“Yes and it so happens that my balcony window has an emergency stairs beside it.”</p><p>“<em> Unbelievable.” </em></p><p>But Nayeon has no other choice. She follows Mina behind.</p><p>“We can’t use the back doors anymore. They’ve locked it already and the clubs checked around for other routes and the window is the only option. We can’t go through the front doors since they’ll check our things.” Mina adds, feels like she has to for Nayeon not to start any other topic.</p><p>“And you agreed to this?”</p><p>“Momo and my roommate kind of forced me..”</p><p>It happened when Mina had just returned from the competition, itching to bury herself under  her covers. The deal with Momo and Mina’s roommate is that, if Mina doesn’t agree they’ll lock her out of her room and instead lock her inside Momo and Nayeon’s room. Now the thing about being locked inside a room with Nayeon doesn’t sit well with Mina. Sure, Nayeon is harmless and good in nature but she can’t guarantee that she herself won’t spill <em> things. </em>The dramatic kind of things.</p><p>The one that involves feelings. Not ideal, too soon.</p><p>And after that <em> almost </em>outburst earlier at the store, Mina can’t guarantee to keep things down.</p><p>Nayeon, this Mina figured as she spent her time away from Nayeon reflecting, has a way of luring Mina into a space of vulnerability and she can’t feel but let her thoughts out in the open. When Nayeon had asked her what she thought of her, Mina was lucky she got herself together.</p><p>So she’s here with Nayeon climbing the emergency stairs attached right beside her room’s balcony.</p><p>A couple of grunts and heaves as Nayeon pulls through despite her muscles aching, they’ve finally entered Mina’s room. She stops and observes the small space as she was unable to do so before. Really, it wasn’t any of her intention to walk in while Mina is changing.</p><p>“You like mint green and black?” Nayeon points out to the space with Mina’s university jacket hanging onto a chair. Her covers are layers of mint green and black while the pillows are mostly white patterned of mint. From the decorative litter on what Nayeon supposes to be Mina’s desk, the color only ranges between the different shades of black and mint green.</p><p>“I like purple,” she mutters absentmindedly.</p><p>(Mina has to write that down.)</p><p>“Are you going to with them at the lounge?” Nayeon asks and checks her phone again for the time. It’s already 1:13 AM. “Oh that’s right, I asked Momo to cook me noodles. You want some?”</p><p>“Some other time?” Instead Mina offers her a smile.</p><p>That’s enough for Nayeon.</p><p>“Nayeon! Mina!”</p><p>Momo and Jeongyeon come running to them, wide smiles coats their faces, and they snatch Nayeon’s bag and Mina’s like thieves to feast on the drinks. Apparently, they have a juice dispenser already set up at the pantry and everyone who’s watching agreed to mix the alcohol with the juice.</p><p>It’s a more toned down party with athletes leisurely going back and forth from the pantry to the lounge to get refills. Nayeon prefers this one rather than plastic saucers flying around the area and cringe-y bass boosted music playing in the background.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Dahyun from the archery team gasps seeing that Sana (a senior in track and field) puts on another movie. “You <em> are </em>not playing The Handmaiden!”</p><p>“Watch me.” There’s a smirk on Sana’s face. She blows Dahyun an air kiss before playing the movie which earns Dahyun snickers from everyone around her. Defeated, she sinks back on the cushion.</p><p>“What’s so special about the movie?” Mina asks, seeing how deflated Dahyun is.</p><p>Momo laughs and shakes her head. “Besides the plot? There’s sex and that stuff between two girls.” Momo snorts again. Sana has purposely sat beside Dahyun. “Look at her,” She points to the track and field athlete for Mina to see. “I won’t be surprised if that girl runs away from the girl beside her. Too aggressive.”</p><p>“Like you’re not,” Nayeon butts in before inhaling the remains of her cup noodles.</p><p>“We both enjoyed it, Nayeon.” Momo plays along.</p><p>“<em> You </em>enjoyed it the most Miss Hirai.”</p><p>(Mina wants to disappear.)</p><p>Instead, she shifts uncomfortably beside Momo, her features revealing the slight discomfort from the exchange. Momo catches the way Mina’s eyes linger on Nayeon but she can’t point out what it is that Mina is meaning to say.</p><p>Mina sinks deeper into the couch like so with her thoughts. This is what she dislikes about Nayeon and Momo’s relationship. She knows they’re <em> strictly </em>friends and the one night stand is a past joke between them but she can’t (she tries to) help but feel insecure. She hasn’t delved into that territory yet and she thinks she won’t be anytime soon. But besides that, she can’t help but be insecure towards Momo, thinking that she’s better. Like always.</p><p>
  <em> Of course, Momo is better than me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She’s not Momo. </em>
</p><p>Momo’s leagues away from her. It’s like competition with a sure and predictable winner: Hirai Momo.</p><p>If Nayeon did like her then she could’ve shown interest in her more. Not that Mina is demanding anything from Nayeon because she herself can’t even approach Nayeon the way she wants to, but if she were interested in Mina, Nayeon could’ve wooed her. Momo and Nayeon had sex and that must mean there’s wooing that happened. That Nayeon had <em> so </em>much interest in Momo they ended up together in one bed, fucking.</p><p>That kind of thing.</p><p>But Im Nayeon is not doing anything.</p><p>Mina thinks she’s getting her hopes up for nothing.</p><p>/</p><p>Dahyun had given up, her soul lost not because of the movie but because of the constant unnecessary clinginess and flirtatious words Sana threw at her. Before the second movie could play, she had escaped the scene and fled to her own room. Momo’s barely hanging on, head swaying side to side as it progresses. Momo jolts from time to time when the noisier girls howl at certain parts.</p><p>Looking around, they slowly wither like leaves. Some come and go from the pantry to the lounge trying to keep the scene alive.</p><p>Jeongyeon is probably sleeping and Chaeyoung would presumably be at her own room by now staying up sketching things.</p><p>“Hey Mina,” Nayeon calls, already up on her feet and a hand reaching out towards the swimmer. “It’s getting boring here. I wanna show you something.”</p><p>Then there’s suddenly a hand tugging at her wrist and everything flashes before her again. She feels like a high school girl all over again, can’t say no to Nayeon so she follows her lead, and they make a quick detour to the pantry for Nayeon to steal two bottles of soju that she securely hid earlier. They climb the emergency staircase, going four levels up without pause despite Nayeon feeling the aches around her body.</p><p>It’s past 3 AM and Mina is sure they shouldn’t be at the dorm’s rooftop because the sign at the door clearly says “Staffs Only” yet here she is basking in its glory: the rooftop used as a storage space for unused items, the night sky enveloping the whole city in serene darkness.</p><p>Nayeon rummages through the cabinets at the side and to Mina’s surprise the soccer player pulls out a black duvet.</p><p>“Just how many times have you done this before?” Mina asks - eyes searching her surroundings and finds items from stock balls to wooden bunk beds. It’s a variety of sorts as if made to be a junk shop (or a thrift shop) instead of a storage as she discovers more items.</p><p>Nayeon flaps the duvet a couple of times before she sets it down beside the wooden bunk bed. Happily diving into the fabric, Nayeon pleasantly sighs. It's been a long day and there's nothing more satisfying than lying down on a thick, soft duvet (with Mina). “Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung dragged me here one time. They always tell me to stop working my ass off too much and get some rest. See the bottles over there?” she points at the stacked boxes beside the door.</p><p>“Those are all the bottles they drank. I probably have at least two in there.”</p><p>The soccer player follows Mina’s figure, still taking careful steps around the place as if she’s going to get caught. Presumably, if the staff ever go on a surprise check they can get in trouble. But she doesn’t worry about it too much - loves that Mina settles down beside her.</p><p>“If you can’t drink well why’d you bring two bottles? I’m not carrying you back down,” Mina says, smiling at the pout that emerges from Nayeon, momentarily forgets that they’re in restricted territory (and that she should be upset with Nayeon).</p><p>“We’re going to practice drinking,” Nayeon pops the two bottles open, spirit quietly fizzing, then hands Mina one. “But we’re not going to drink it as fast as we can. Bit by bit.”</p><p>“And we’re doing this because?”</p><p>Nayeon drinks her share and the visible disgust comes through her features. Mina giggles (and Nayeon loves it).</p><p>“Do you have a schedule tomorrow?” Nayeon still tastes the bitterness on her tongue, her face covered in displease.</p><p>Mina stares at her bottle, contemplating about this proposed idea. Should she? “After lunch and then at night.” She drinks the same amount as Nayeon then shares the same face of disgust after.</p><p>“Great! We can sleep in then!”</p><p>They act as if nothing had happened at the store.</p><p>The swimmer rests her back on the edge of the bunk bed, and she’s come to another realization about Im Nayeon and her words, her ways. If she were to compare how Nayeon gets things done her way, it’s like believing in a supposed well thought piece of essay but when you look at it, analyze it as it is, it only uses big words that makes her brain believe and suspend the idea of it being wrong. Mina, despite knowing this, still believes everything in Nayeon.</p><p>In the midst of Mina getting lost in her own thoughts, Nayeon studies, lets herself take Mina in more than she could before. <em> God, </em>why does Mina have to be this beautiful? Nayeon can’t stop but feel nervous.</p><p>She pauses.</p><p>Mina is so patient with her.</p><p>Just why the hell did their first meeting have to be that way?</p><p>Another pause.</p><p>There are a lot of things that Im Nayeon has grown to love about Myoui Mina: the way she shakes her head to fix her bangs, the way her smile is a soft and gummy one, the way everything falls perfectly into place when Mina finds her peace and her eyes lit up; or the simplest way that she's grown to love Mina.</p><p>Breaking her gaze, the epiphany makes Nayeon take another gulp from her bottle, eyes wide at the idea of how real that is.</p><p>Her heart picks up the moment she looks back at Mina again, closer she moves to the swimmer, taking in again the beautiful constellations that always made her feel at ease; sees another mole on Mina’s neck.</p><p>“<em> Nayeon </em> ?” Albeit surprised at the finger poking at her neck, it’s no contender to how close Nayeon actually is with her. She holds back a gasp, one that she can’t possibly let out as the soccer player moves closer – this is not what she meant by Nayeon making <em> the move. </em></p><p>It’s too soon. <em> Too fast. </em></p><p>“<em> What are you doing </em>?” Mina says in the softest whisper. Nayeon stops advancing, retracts her hand from Mina, and she smiles despite how numbing her heart is making her feel.</p><p>“I love your moles,” Nayeon mindlessly confesses, her eyes swaying from Mina’s mole to her lips. It’s a game of patience and Nayeon is carelessly playing it.</p><p>That <em> too fast </em>comes down to a gradual slow down. Mina meets Nayeon by the eyes, holding an unannounced contest of who’s going to break first, and she tries not to get distracted by the small smile playing on Nayeon’s lips.</p><p>There’s still a very reasonable distance between them but the way Nayeon is looking at her, eyes half-lidded and lost in thought (in Mina), makes it feel like they’re only inches apart – close to touch and seal the deal. But Nayeon makes it stop, she’s staring at her again.</p><p>“This one’s my favorite,” Nayeon breathes, focused on Mina’s lips rather than the mole near it. <em> Soft. </em></p><p>And Nayeon is on the move again, Mina thinks it’s going <em> too </em>slow.</p><p>“Are you drunk?” She looks at the bottle in Nayeon’s hold, far from half and Nayeon is thinking of kissing Mina.</p><p>“I don’t <em> feel </em> that I am but I <em> think </em>like it,” She takes a quick peek at Mina, soft and glowing that Nayeon doesn’t understand how when the clouds are everywhere hiding the moon and stars. She breathes again and mutters, “I think I want to kiss you.”</p><p>Nayeon puts the bottle aside, somewhere she won’t knock it over, and now she’s sitting beside Mina, a hand on both sides of the swimmer’s body like she’s trapped her and it’s up to her if she’ll let Nayeon in.</p><p>It strains Mina to have Nayeon this close, sober and conscious of everything that she’s doing to her, that she wants to kiss her. Before, agreeing to Im Nayeon was clearly not a mistake. Like she’s one of the many lost pieces that makes up of Mina. But now that she’s face to face with her, eyes boring into her own feels like everything came down to a slow dance of a song meant to be danced at a faster tempo.</p><p>“Breathe Mina,” Nayeon whispers. Their foreheads meet, Mina’s lips are a few inches from Nayeon’s pair, and Nayeon smiles, albeit small, when Mina finally breathes the tension away.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?”</p><p>It comes out airy and smaller than Nayeon intended to. A hand cups her cheek, warm to the touch and gentle, it’s Nayeon’s turn to hold her breath. Mina holds her, thumb ghosting on delicate skin it bores goosebumps to Nayeon’s arms.</p><p>Mina leans in.</p><p>Neither push anything, staying still to make sure this is real and not out of emotions that abruptly surged through. Another hand cups Nayeon’s cheek. The soccer star pulls back - just enough so she can still admire everything that is Mina and that Mina can still feel Nayeon against her.</p><p>“Hey,” Eyes flutter open - one that makes Nayeon suddenly shy, more than enough to make her melt.</p><p>Mina <em> is </em>soft.</p><p>Rather than feeling her feelings, Nayeon captures Mina’s lips again - it’s softer, her lower lip caught between Nayeon's own pair.</p><p>Kissing Im Nayeon is the biggest leap her heart has ever taken yet it feels like she’s won a risky bargain. Like she’s won Im Nayeon and that itself feels the most memorable out of all medals she’s won, that in this moment if Nayeon asks her again if she’s happy she’s going to say <em> “Yes and it’s because of you.”  </em></p><p>Still, Mina holds Nayeon between her hands hoping that she won’t go away. That this is not a mistake: to let Im Nayeon in.</p><p>To hold Im Nayeon this close, to have Myoui Mina hold her like this - the flashes become stronger and move vibrant, slowly coming to life the more they kiss. The more emotions and feelings get involved. If this was a movie, Mina thinks (still), it’s a peculiar mix of romance and subtle hints of fantasy. Except, this is real.</p><p>They pull away but Nayeon insists resting her forehead against Mina’s.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re not drunk?” Mina tucks the hair behind Nayeon’s ears, hands never forgetting to return and hold her face.</p><p>“No,” Nayeon flatly denies, bumping her nose next to Mina’s. “Do you want me to kiss you again to prove it?”</p><p>A smile plays on Nayeon’s lips and Mina doesn’t have to look because they’re close enough for her to feel everything.</p><p>(Mina knows it’s an excuse for Nayeon to kiss her again but she lets her do so.)</p><p>For the meantime, Mina forgets her fear, the insecurities that eat her up, and she just feels of how lovely it is to be with Im Nayeon, pulling her closer as if she were greedy to let others have a feel of Nayeon. Kissing Nayeon is breathing underwater for Mina, she won’t get suffocated and there are no currents to conquer.</p><p>Just her and Nayeon.</p><p>/</p><p>There are moments that replays over and over in Nayeon’s head whenever her thoughts transcend the casual.</p><p>First is the dream of the Nationals. Nayeon can picture and put herself in the same exact situation where she runs with the ball, dribbling it with her feet, and then she shoots and scores the team to victory.</p><p>It never gets old.</p><p>Jihyeon when she first stopped bawling when Nayeon had held her so close, a moment that no one could ever replace. Nayeon loves this one the most.</p><p>However, today, Nayeon drifts further away from these commonalities as she replays and relives the moment she and Mina had shared.</p><p>It’s crazy. Her heart was beating crazy mad during the entirety of their kiss.</p><p>/</p><p>“I messed it up!”</p><p>Momo lies down on the cold tiled floor. Personally, she hates it doing this because of the cold seeping through her body but after an outrageous lap she’s going to ignore that. The other thing that she has to deal with is Mina uncharacteristically panicking, which she only does when she’s ordered the wrong shade of mint green online.</p><p>Mina pulls at her swimmer cap, throws it at the side, then slumps down beside Momo who only watches her.</p><p>Frustrated with the silence, Mina yaps. “Are you not going to say anything?”</p><p>“You didn’t mess it up, Mina. Calm down, will you? That’s like your fourth lap for today, don't pressure it too much.”</p><p>“Easy for you to say,” Mina mumbles. But that isn’t the point here. “But that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>Undoubtedly there’s a resemblance between Mina and Nayeon now. Momo’s not going to entirely assume it’s because of Nayeon’s influence that her friend is acting the way that she is right now. <em> But yeah, </em>Nayeon is the only suspect.</p><p>Mina’s also been <em> purposely </em>avoiding the said soccer player for days now that Momo finds Mina always by her side every morning jog and lunch breaks. She’s either trying too hard to strike up a conversation and keep it going, knows that Nayeon doesn’t have the audacity to interrupt them, to keep her at bay.</p><p>Nayeon never really pushes herself to Mina.</p><p>Except that one night.</p><p>That one night that makes Mina’s head spin around and her thoughts speak so loud it keeps her awake at night.</p><p>“I broke the natural order of things Momo! This isn’t going to end well!”</p><p>“First of all, you’re not a space wizard or Doctor Strange for that to happen which means the world isn’t going to end. What could you possibly do?”</p><p>Mina’s going to reiterate how she’s a careful person that in everything she does is always a well thought plan, from the start to the end it’s flawless and is fail-proof. That is until Im Nayeon comes into the scene <em> again. </em></p><p>The kiss plays repeatedly and Mina dreads the thought of what if Nayeon thinks she’s one desperate woman? She <em> did </em> kiss Nayeon first. Did Momo kiss Nayeon first or was it the other way around?</p><p>There are a lot that Mina could possibly worry about at the moment but she chooses to worry about Im Nayeon.  Not the written report due on Tuesday, not the beach camp a week from now. None of those because they’re not Im Nayeon.</p><p>“Is this about Nayeon? Freaking out isn’t really your thing, Minari.”</p><p>
  <em> Exactly! </em>
</p><p>How is she supposed to break it to Momo that she and Nayeon kissed? It’s the biggest deal for Mina because relationships are more than dedication, discipline, the things that she knows and learns from swimming. It’s not supposed to be suffocating like this contrary to how it felt when their lips met.</p><p>Yet Mina knows where she stands with Nayeon. Her and Nayeon’s relationship - still nonexistent and draws the line at friends?</p><p>How is it possible for Mina to turn everything against her? That she ends up belittling everything that she’s accomplished?</p><p>Being pessimistic and having little to no confidence in her wins, Mina is dreaming of building something only to tear it up when it has yet to begin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. will we get there?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They get stuck in their own game. Will they be able win?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nayeon is getting tanner the nearer the Qualifiers are.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soccer team’s been running around the field all day long regardless of how blazing hot the sun is, practicing from the morning to the late nights. Suppressing the heat becomes unbearable most of the time as they have to share the shower room. It’s packed and tight and far from conducive for the team to feel fresh and comfortable. Nayeon would rather spend the extra time walking back to the dorms to get her peace and personal space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo’s caught her thrice every lunch at the dorms and being the nice person that she is, offered Nayeon to just take the shower in the pool building reasoning that the shower rooms there are vacant most of the time during lunch. Nayeon agreed of course. Between the dorms and the pool building, she prefers the latter. </span>
  <span>Mina’s there</span>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This routine developed rather quickly where Mina often bumps into Nayeon inside the building, confused as to why she’s here, but their contact is always short because Mina prefers it that way. She hasn’t figured out how to work her way around Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kiss? They haven’t had the proper talk about it. It’s kind of a big deal for Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Besides the times that Mina had bumped into Nayeon, there have been a handful of moments that Momo always parts with Nayeon. They’re always together and it bothers the swimmer the most.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’ve fallen into a game of hide and seek with push and pull at the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soccer star has been meaning to talk with Mina but time and circumstances never permit her to do so. The training is eating up most of Nayeon’s time that she barely has time for herself. It’s unnecessary for Momo to step in, but she thought that she’s Nayeon’s roommate, and as her roommate it’s only appropriate for her to buy Nayeon’s lunch in advance to at least lend her a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina had asked about the increase in quantity of Momo’s usual serving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you can finish all of that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo picks up a carton of banana milk. “Oh this? It’s Nayeon’s.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(She regrets asking.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Self-frustration falls upon Mina. Had she been braver and forward with Nayeon then she wouldn’t be trying to avoid her at all cost. Delaying inevitable would only cause more implications along the way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jealousy is nothing new to Mina, reaching a new height of it is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon passes by the pool area, seemingly fresh out of the shower with the towel haphazardly on her head as she walks by. She’s learned not to take a peek or glance at the water (and at a certain someone) because they’re always submerged, splashing and swimming from end to end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s no point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the week comes to an end, Mina is starting to think that Momo and Nayeon are far from </span>
  <em>
    <span>strictly friends </span>
  </em>
  <span>with a sexual past. And that the kiss meant completely nothing to Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently, morning jogs are not a thing anymore with Nayeon and Mina. Rather running on the track field, they opted for late night runs instead. It ticked Mina off the whole week. Yes, seeing Momo and Nayeon is an eyesore to her. Yes, as much as she hates seeing them it’s the only option she has to see Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And yes, she’s still trapped in her own prison from talking to Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina becomes restless. Momo knew about her feelings to Nayeon – it takes everything and her inner demons to accept that she is indeed developing romantic feelings for the soccer star. It is never scary to have feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s never easier when your best friend is always with the one that you like most of the time. Momo and Nayeon here, Momo and Nayeon there. Mina gets sick at the sight of the two people most important to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is this the world’s way of getting back at her for always setting an unhealthy and unnecessary competition with Momo?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The whistle madly blows repeatedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Myoui!” Her coach yells when Mina emerges from the water. “This is the third time you’ve dived before the starting pistol, are you playing shit with us? You’ve won second but that doesn’t guarantee you to waste our time like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least he doesn’t shout unlike the assistant coach. Still, Mina flinches and tries not to be obvious how easily these words eat her up and make her feel little. Same hurt just a different day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quietly, Mina gets back on the diving board and goes on position.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a fact, Mina does not hate Momo. It’s the idea of them together, Nayeon and Momo, why do they have to be joined by the hips? Are they planning to become the next Siamese twins?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sits with Momo during lunch, an attempt to settle one of her many problems.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plan is to not sound jealous, petty, and low no matter how many times she sees Nayeon’s name pop up on Momo’s phone. Mina is systematic, always has a plan. Fool-proof from getting busted for holding a grudge for her best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is nice.” Momo says as she opens her own carton of banana milk. It’s the last one along with Nayeon’s own carton that Momo had bought earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina didn’t see it happen and that’s going to keep her sane for the meantime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should really eat often here in the cafeteria instead of spending your entire break back in the dorm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina did eat outside of the dorm only because Nayeon had persisted her way through her, dragged her down to the grass field and had to unwillingly give in to be fed when her stomach had betrayed her. But that was before, never happened twice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the curry is nice.” She replies halfheartedly, almost monotonous but Momo is busy with her own meal to notice the lack of enthusiasm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nayeon likes curry. You should treat her sometime.” Momo chirps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are a lot that Momo had known over the weeks that she had been buying Nayeon’s lunch. It’s not completely free as Nayeon pays her back at the end of the day. The soccer star hates food that are too runny or soupy, prefers her meals to be chewy or tender so she can savor the taste a little longer. She’s bought Nayeon an energy drink before but the athlete had downright rejected the bottle, something about not being able to sleep properly at night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>During that time, Mina had kept herself away from all the doors that had open for her to enter. She listens to Momo as she lists the things that Nayeon likes and what she hates.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina only knows that Nayeon likes her instant noodles slightly undercooked, hates the vegetables that float around the cup. That was it while Momo had a whole list that goes on and on. Her spoon might bend from the tension.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Slowly, Mina.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You’ll get there.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She breathes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you free next week Thursday?” Momo asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re shopping again, then no. I’m not free next week Thursday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Giggling, Momo lightly flicks Mina at her forearm. “Minari, Nayeon’s literally going to kick me out of the room if I buy more unnecessary things. And it’s not shopping, it’s the Qualifiers!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Qualifiers? Already?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo nods, chewing on her food. The swimmer sets her utensils aside, seemingly more interested in the conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung invited me but Nayeon provided the tickets, says it’s the best seat in the house. Oh there’s free food too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She didn’t invite me there, why should I go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why won’t you?” Momo hits back, tired of Mina’s stupid game. “You’ve been avoiding her for what? You’re not telling me something and that actually hurts me as your best friend, Mina.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it is. How fast Momo turns the table and then suddenly Mina is on the hot seat, left with nothing but to acknowledge that Momo is right. Again. They’ve been here before and Momo won’t back down and tolerate this any longer. She’s had enough of Mina’s mood swings for the past couple of days.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it this time that scares you, Mina?” She looks at Mina right in the eye, searching for that one bit that will help Momo crack another barrier that her friend has built.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, she is still scared about the whole </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I have feelings but it sucks because you’re with Nayeon instead of me and that’s all because I’m too scared to completely open up to her and face my demons” </span>
  </em>
  <span>problem. It’s like mixing alcohol and milk; fear and jealousy. When you do that, you’ll have a stomach ache guaranteed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina now understands why characters in a typical romance movie always have trouble confronting the person they love, how scary it is to lose someone you value the most when the choice is in your hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t get you.” Momo slacks back onto her seat, chopsticks loosely held and nitpicking at her food. “You like Nayeon yet you avoid her. You said you feel like you’re not enough yet I don’t see you doing anything to prove to her that you’re worth it. Mina you’re not in high school anymore, it’s hello to the adulting world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s so easy for you to say..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that. I’m not in your shoes to know what you’re feeling right now or what goes in that mind of yours. But if I were you, I won’t put myself in a position where I could possibly lose someone I love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo hits it. Two birds, one stone. But to Mina, it’s like she’s replaced Atlas in carrying the whole world and its problems onto her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want someone and you have all the reasons and chances to make her yours. Don’t cage yourself when you don’t know how to pick the lock. It’s going to save you from a lot of pain, trust me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina thinks she’s made another mistake that’s bound to hurt her, not now but it will some time today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re currently riding the shuttle bus with the soccer team and some of the people that they’ve also invited from the campus. It’s as noisy as it could get compared to the quiet car rides that Mina is used to. It was even rowdier earlier when she and Momo had shown up at the bus door like they were celebrities being stared at coupled with loud fanatic chants. Mina’s heart was pounding that moment. Nayeon could emerge anywhere and Mina has no choice but to face her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung was awfully obvious and bad at leading Mina to sit beside Nayeon that it somehow turned the atmosphere awkward. She got booed at because of that. In the end, Mina sits with Momo behind Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s seats.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo had insisted on carpooling with the team to save money and time. Since they’re going to arrive early with the athletes, they could eat breakfast altogether. The thought made Mina shiver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gets a quick glimpse of Nayeon through the space between the seats, looking like she’s in a serious conversation with Jeongyeon, Mina holds herself back before the flashes start playing again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frankly, Mina is unsure of how she will present herself to Nayeon. She did avoid her for a selfish reason; Nayeon doesn’t need to know why. When she finds herself walking beside the soccer star, it reminds her of their mornings that’s usually Nayeon waving and smiling at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon does it without fail.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s my favorite swimmer doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not the usual cringe-y morning conversation starters that Nayeon prepared the night before. The usual would be</span>
  <em>
    <span>: “Have you thought of what’s going to happen if your dominant hand gets injured? That would suck because I won’t be able to take written exams.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mina laughs - another variety that Nayeon’s grown to love. When Mina smiles in the morning and the sun hits her face perfectly it makes her glow. Striking yet gentle.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I wouldn’t be able to swim if I got injured.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh,” Scratching at the back of her head, Nayeon laughs it off awkwardly. “Right, you use your whole body.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>That’s the usual. There’s no calling of names, just direct to the point. Since when did she become Nayeon’s favorite?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I barely see you even when I’m at your building almost everyday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon has her own regrets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” She simply lies as it’s easier than owning up to her real emotions. “What about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with Nayeon beside her, she still manages to catch how her lips curl upwards.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that nervous, kind of. I wanna show off. You haven’t seen me play, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon searches her duffle bag, messing up her tidied clothes and personal belongings in search of her last banana milk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” She hands it over to Mina after stabbing the straw into it. “I don’t know if you like banana milk in the morning but I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, Mina wonders how easy it is for Im Nayeon to pick things up where they’ve left it off and then pretend that all is good when all Mina’s done is push herself away. But Nayeon, just like during their morning jogs, always chases after her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is there even when she isn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Has she grown a level deeper in attachment towards the soccer player? That even now that they’re walking side by side there’s an itch - an impossible yet so daring of a whim to hold Im Nayeon’s hand that’s particularly close to her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To be seen publicly, it’s a leap of faith Mina has to take, a stark contrast of intimacy they’ve shared together back at rooftop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Mina dares not to. She’s kissed Nayeon. She’s not going to be the first to hold her hand, too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon erratically drags Nayeon into the buffet area catered for the whole team, each with a tray of two plates on top. It’s amazing how the entire team is able to clear the menu within minutes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all sit in one table. Momo sits next to Mina, opposite to the trio with Nayeon in the middle of her friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo admires the appetite growth that Nayeon was able to develop, nodding at the small accomplishment she says “You’re eating that much before the game? Isn’t that bad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, this? The extra plate is for Jeongyeon. Chaeyoung’s giving the half of her second plate to Jeongyeon. If she passes out later or vomits, don’t mind her. It’s her fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung snickers. “Imagine if she gets constipation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m an athlete which has extra privileges like having fast digestion. I suggest you try it sometimes, 159cm Son Chaeyoung.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung makes a face, faking how hurt and taken aback she is with the not so subtle attack from her tallest friend. The many cons of being friends with Yoo Jeongyeon, in Chaeyoung’s case, is that they’re often referred to as David and Goliath. It would’ve been cute if it weren’t for the fact that those two fought each other to death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Jeongyeon keeps attacking her height then she might as well bring her down with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mina you’re not finishing your plate?” Nayeon asks, seeing that Mina has not touched her food for a while now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got full quick. I think it’s the banana milk you gave me earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chewing on her food and raising a thumbs up to the swimmer, Nayeon nods along.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gave her banana milk?” Chaeyoung deflated asks, a pout on her lips. “But you don’t even share it with us!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung leans to Nayeon’s side and whispers, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Bros before hoes, Nayeon!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>to which Nayeon responds with an elbow attack targeted at the short athlete’s forearm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And breakfast somehow went positively smooth. They were able to share jokes with Mina mostly quietly laughing at her seat, that she doesn’t notice how she’s gained two friends and that Im Nayeon’s been stealing glances at her the entire time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually in her own competitions, there’s little pressure being submerged under the water and she can’t hear anyone cheering. But the seats are filled with soccer enthusiasts from each college, animatedly talking while they wait for the players to come around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Despite having the best seat, literally a barricade away from the field, Momo leans onto the railing to get the overview of where her college team will be playing. Both of them have not seen their friends play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon earned her title through skill and practice which leaves them anticipating the quality of performance they’ll be seeing today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally the crowd cheers. The players emerge and they wave briefly at the crowd before jogging onto the middle of the field.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The match is about to start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon breathes heavily. She thinks she’s out of it when all she can hear is her university’s name and her jersey number being chanted so loud her ears are ringing. The noise drives Nayeon closer to the goal, signalling another call before the opponent jousts the ball out of her possession.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In every game, her ears are always ringing. The crowd doesn’t have to crank their voices to the max and it still sends Nayeon into a space lighter than she’s ever felt, the ground keeping match of her steps that she doesn’t send her body tumbling down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is stable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Winning the Qualifiers meant a step closer to her dream she’s held so close and worked so hard for. The probability of losing, Nayeon closes it to less than a percent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The ball gets passed to her again, the trajectory of it opening a chance for her to drive it past the net. Nayeon jumps, the ground beneath her feet, and heads the ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Goal!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon’s automatic ceremony ensues as she hits the middle of her chest several times and then kisses her hand before raising it to show the crowd that she kicked the ball in. In that same moment Momo and Mina acknowledge that Nayeon has every right to brag about her skill and natural talent in soccer. They’re standing on their seats shouting along with the crowd, cheering their favorite player.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It so happens that it slips Mina’s mind that she also has to cheer for Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon. Unlike Momo that’s alternating their names every chance she gets to shout.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The game ends with a score of 5-3.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the night is yet to end a little later as the soccer club makes its way to a grilling restaurant they’ve reserved beforehand, as if they’ve predicted that the win is theirs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon shares the spotlight with her teammate being the match’s shining players, standing out from the rest all throughout the game. With two goals and an assist under her name, Nayeon is for sure going to use this advantage to get an ample amount of pork belly later. Oh, the lovely perk of being tagged MVP; her coach won’t bother her for two weeks maximum for this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soccer club is dispersed into their own circles, each occupying their own tables to feast on the congratulatory dinner. They stand out from the rest, their university color striking the place, smiles deeply engraved, it won’t go anytime soon, and spirits out and loud to show everyone that they’ve rightfully won the Qualifiers!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon is already ordering for their table and Momo backs her up with an appetite that could compete with the midfielder. The remaining trio let them be and hopes they won’t puke on the way home. It’s always a pain in the ass to take care of people that can’t look out for themselves. But Nayeon can’t comment on that matter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The place now booms of lively athletes still in full morale, grills fizzing and hissing busily with each cut of meat being slapped onto the metal, and it officially starts when they clank their shot glasses filled with soju.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon hisses in disgust. No matter how much she “practices” drinking, her palette won’t let the absurdly bitter liquid down her throat smoothly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s betting on Nayeon getting drunk first?” Jeongyeon shouts loud enough for the team to hear the deal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo joins her in no time. “Let’s bet between Nayeon and Mina! They both have low tolerance. It'll be fun to see who </span>
  <em>
    <span>says </span>
  </em>
  <span>something to who first!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m on Mina!” Chaeyoung votes rather enthusiastically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dibs on Nayeon!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you for real? It’s gotta be her swimmer friend!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hate you,” says Nayeon looking and glaring exclusively at Yoo Jeongyeon that’s already on her third glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>can’t believe you.” Mina has her eyes wide, directly boring into Momo for dragging her into this scheme.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo makes a face, one to tease, then shrugs. “You’ll need the alcohol since you won’t do it sober.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One way or another, they’ve managed to lure the two into finishing a bottle and a half. Full consent with a little bit of persuasion that comes in the form of peer pressure. It’s bad, Jeongyeon admits, but at the end of the night they’ll be taking care of Nayeon’s and Mina’s ass if they ever get drunk. Or at least one of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their second glass comes running down their throat after they’ve consumed the first plate of pork belly serving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell do you drink this? It’s so bitter and literally bad?” Nayeon can still taste it on her tongue, smacking her lips together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ew, that’s disgusting! Stop that!” Chaeyoung fusses, nudging at Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina watches as Momo acts first, handing Nayeon water like it’s the autonomy of things between them. She drinks her third glass, the bubbling jealousy and frustration gradually making its way up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See that Nayeon?” Jeongyeon jeers at her friend. “Mina can drink better than you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In Mina’s defense, it is not a win to be better than Nayeon when it comes to drinking. There’s this pending anxiety that sits with her each time her glass gets a refill because that meant losing control and sober thoughts. Those are always hard to get a hold of, not that she’s been drunk plenty of times before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What makes it harder than it already is to see Nayeon getting taken care of by Momo is the fact that Mina </span>
  <em>
    <span>still </span>
  </em>
  <span>sits and watches. Does nothing when it’s all laid out for her to take into her hands. She thinks of it as a maze, one that is circular, and all she’s done is go in circles. Never learned from her own mistakes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her fourth glass goes down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon sits still and cautiously acts. Mina is looking at her, can’t pinpoint what it is about when the swimmer is excellent in masking her feelings. It’s hard to read Mina most of the time. If Nayeon were to simply put it into comparison: it’s like handing a baby a novel and expecting it to read and understand. Mina is an enigma of her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re going to lose!” Momo teases, sticks her tongue out at Jeongyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No no, Mina you’re supposed to be</span>
  <em>
    <span> drinking slow</span>
  </em>
  <span>!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too bad Mina downs another shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wishes she can ignore the constant attention that Momo gives Nayeon the way she can ignore and tolerate how disgustingly bitter the alcohol is. The worst part of drinking is never the hangover but the consequences that follow drunk actions Mina won’t be able to turn back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Under the hood of the restaurant’s front, Mina can finally breathe from the suffocating green monster. It shouldn’t even be there in the first place. Hell, what did she and Nayeon even have in common? Absolutely nothing! Momo can have her all she wants, Mina spits.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Doesn’t really mean anything that’s going around her mind. Blame the alcohol.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon can go and hog Momo all she wants and Mina will be there hurting and wishing it was her instead of her best friend. Mina wishes she stops living inside her head along with her demons that tugs her back down whenever she’s about to risk it. The risk that’s worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Im Nayeon is worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Mina needs another breather from Im Nayeon. She can’t take her right now, even when she’s dropped and squatting in front of her with eyes that Mina’s memorized even when Nayeon is all over the place and can’t seem to focus on anything. Mina is drunk and there is no way that Im Nayeon is in front of her when she could be with Momo and her friends inside enjoying the festive atmosphere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nevertheless, if this Im Nayeon is real or the only thing her mind could conjure right now, Mina points her finger and pokes the soccer player at her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>you,” says Mina, focusing not at the made up image of Nayeon but at her finger that continues to poke at the flesh. “I hate you when you’re with Momo! She’s first in everything and god it’s always Momo! It’s never me, never going to be me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina’s face contorts as her tears begin to pool at her eyes. Chest burning and weighing her down, it flashes again before her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God it’s so frustrating to be me! Just when I thought I could have that one thing I’m so sure about, the world suddenly slaps me and tells me I’m not fucking enough, will never be, and I’m nothing! Do you know how that feels Im Nayeon?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Softly, Nayeon wipes the tears from cold skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina doesn’t know where to start, where and to whom to vent all her feelings to. How can she possibly make Nayeon understand that it hurts and sucks like ass to find out and feel you’re not as important to someone the way you thought you were. Mina feels ridiculous for giving in and kissing Nayeon that night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It sucks to feel how easy she could be replaced, be looked over because someone is better. That Mina is no one special, not even to Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it sucks not being able to do what you want that you feel so hopeless and worthless because with Im Nayeon, it’s a story about what could’ve been. A story Mina could’ve written but stopped even before she started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a lot of demons inside that mind of yours, or is it the alcohol talking right now?” Nayeon keeps her hands to herself. It hurts to see Mina cry, that everything she’s feeling feels like Nayeon can also feel it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up. You’re not real!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I was what do you think I would say?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll choose Momo,</span>
  <em>
    <span> the same way everyone does</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see,” Nayeon offers her a sad smile, her heart painfully constricting. “Hope you don’t let your demons blind you. That one real thing, it’s going to wait for you until you defeat and win past all your demons. It’ll wait and stay. You’re going to win, don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flashes are too real, it hurts they’re not true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina saw everything, a whole relationship - a future where it doesn’t matter if their hair is gray as long as they have each other, hands intertwined it’s a sin to let go. In that future Mina saw herself happy, genuinely happy as she and Nayeon would go on late night strolls and Nayeon hasn’t changed at all: still curious that leads to peculiar yet creative ideas. She and Nayeon shared their dreams all the while making their way through the crowded city full of life even at night. Still, she holds onto Mina. She saw Nayeon loving her no matter how ugly her emotions are, how she’s closed herself from the world. Nayeon is there to hold her and stay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It is the kind of love that comes unexpected, one that leaves you nothing but to accept and feel that you are in love. The love Mina is struggling to piece together, seeing the end even before it begins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon wakes up alone. Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s the third day of their two week-long break, only because they’ve won the Qualifiers. The first day was a disaster. She had to go through a severe headache because of Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung pulling her out of the dorm again to spend “quality time” together when most of the time that they go out she pays for their meals. She had stayed in bed after fighting her way through, a couple of shoves to get the two of them locked out of her room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Momo had come back after training, it was around 10PM or was it near 11? Nayeon needed not to start a conversation or to look the way she does because Momo got to her first.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Another sad person detected. Wow, there’s a lot of you today.” Momo observes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Is being sad bad?” Nayeon sits upright, back leaning on the headrest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, not at all. It’s better to know what you feel than be ignorant about it, at least you know how to deal with it. But you know what sucks?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Momo looks at Nayeon, hopelessly. “It’s there yet people always choose the hard way, push it away and pretend everything’s okay when it’s the complete opposite. That cliche, it sucks.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, it sucks according to Momo and Nayeon agrees. So Nayeon somehow concluded that before her break ends she’ll be popping inside the pool building specifically waiting for one person to come out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon comes around ten minutes before the usual lunch time, waiting for Mina to emerge from the double doors. When she catches the familiar figure on her way out, Nayeon launches herself from the wall to catch up.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now this is familiar.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Still, Nayeon is able to show Mina the smile she’s grown into. “Are you on your way to eat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” She whispers, as if it’s wrong to be seen with the soccer player.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it’s not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo told me your schedule for the week so here I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina speeds up purposely. She’s had enough of that name for the week. Maybe some other time when she’s collected and has come to terms with her conflicting emotions, she’ll listen to everything that Nayeon is about to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon has plans and none of them include Mina storming away looking like she’s done something that upset her again. She runs after Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Practice won’t start until 2 hours later so do you wanna go out and eat? Just you and me, if that’s alright with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not hungry,” says Mina with finality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>To which Nayeon takes as a sign for her not to push the agenda that leads her to plan B where Mina’s roommate comes into play, again. Momo had </span>
  <em>
    <span>seriously </span>
  </em>
  <span>insisted that if she wants total connection with Mina, it has to be her roommate. Nayeon rings her up and asks for a little favor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nayeon?! What the hell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The appearance of Im Nayeon catches Mina off guard for the second time today. How can she possibly be ready when the soccer player had climbed up the emergency stairs up to their balcony and had the window swing open as she tumbles down the carpeted floor. Still, she helps Nayeon up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is what Mina hates: the way that Nayeon can slither her way in and Mina can’t do anything about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stand impossibly close to each other. Nayeon is everything but flustered and bothered being this close to Mina. Funny how weeks ago Nayeon was all over the place but it looks like she’s won her own battle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina breaks their stance, standing further away from the soccer player. She crosses her arms as if to protect herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your roommate let the window open and I thought you wouldn’t let me in so,” Nayeon explains, pointing at the said window and then to the locked door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tired, Mina heaves a sigh. “How are you friends with her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh- right, I got her number from Momo-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>tired. For real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The last time we were alone things didn’t end too well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Puzzled and slightly hurt, Nayeon can’t guess which “alone” she meant. Was it at the grill restaurant when she had sat with Mina until the swimmer passed out? Or was it back at the rooftop?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know why you feel that way but I’m not here to add another bad thing to that list. Kinda just want to spend time with you, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is what Mina had wanted, except it doesn’t feel right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s with Nayeon, just them and no one else but it feels as though they’re worlds away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is in a position that Mina had unintentionally put her into; cautious as if walking on eggshells. Afraid that if she does something, Mina is going to break and it hurts Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They each occupy the space separated by a bedside table. Mina is tucked into her own bed in a zone where she pretends that even the faintest rattle from the other bed does nothing to her. Pretends that the silence is far from deafening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That the quietest of Im Nayeon, somehow, is still the loudest for Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is,” Nayeon starts. Mina’s ears perk up in eager interest, “boring. I know I’m not the best when it comes to starting a conversation but wow, this </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>really taking a toll on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the corner of her eye, she sees Nayeon messily shuffling on her roommate’s bed. Does it bother her that much? The silence? Because it does for Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve got an hour and a half, do you really want to spend it like this?” Nayeon comes to a stop, sitting with her legs and arms crossed facing the bed adjacent to hers. But still, there’s that annoyingly stupid itch and whim that Nayeon can’t put her finger onto. What is it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon has to lean closer for her to hear Mina say, “What do you want to do then?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to talk to you, Mina. We kinda just.. Drifted apart after </span>
  <em>
    <span>that.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is unsure. Is it the right time to talk to Mina about what happened at the rooftop? Or when she was ranting her heart out drunk?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She takes the risk anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I misunderstand? It’s like you went ghost on me until the day of the Qualifiers, what changed Mina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Us changed, Nayeon.” Her grip tightens around her covers, pulling it down on her to shield her from the vulnerability that Nayeon can easily bring out. “You.. I don’t even know how to start it with you. Was that kiss even worth something to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It meant a lot. It meant Nayeon soaring to newer heights and discovering that when it’s the right person, no matter how fast or how short you’ve known each other, it will always feel right. That if she had the chance to rearrange time and knew the consequence of now, Nayeon would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has it ever occurred to you that when you walk and do the things you do, like it never happened, hurts me? I’m thinking it’s a mistake to kiss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not a mistake, Nayeon sees it that way and for her to hear it come from Mina hurts way more than she thought it would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably my fault that this happened. I mean, can I blame you? You </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>loving me back when I’m nowhere near Momo? When I’m never enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina feels like she’s swimming in the ocean again, only this time she can’t breathe underwater and Nayeon is drowning her all in. Her lungs start to burn and the cavity between her chest starts pulling her down. It’s impossibly heavy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell am I supposed to tell you that I’m so fucking scared to let you in because I know how easy it is to replace someone like me! And that kiss? God, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>hate </span>
  </em>
  <span>how I felt everything. I hate how I get so goddamn jealous when we’re nothing and I stand nowhere with you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Behind the great cover she’s pulled over herself, Mina can’t mask the sobs, the heavy and labored breathing. The desperate need to have Im Nayeon out and away from her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know how that feels Nayeon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, Nayeon does not. Yet the crushing pressure in her chest is enough to tell Nayeon that her feelings alone are not enough. Mina is more than enough. But no words come out and Nayeon is stuck in a much further position than she’s began with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Get out, I don’t want to see you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually Jeongyeon would be the one bent on dragging and pulling Nayeon out of the campus, even scheming with Chaeyoung so she can pull it off even when she has to use force most of the time. But to be sitting with Im Nayeon at a library when it’s nowhere conducive to have a soccer player staring blankly into the distance as hot tears taint the slightly tanned skin, Jeongyeon could only feel and hurt at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon had been so kept and secretive when it came to her feelings. All the time that Jeongyeon had been with Nayeon, crying is the rarest of them all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To see your best friend crying and trying her best to not sound </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt </span>
  </em>
  <span>and in pain that she tries to stifle her own sobs, an invisible lump forms in Jeongyeon’s throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I know what’s going on now,” Jeongyeon doesn’t have the courage to look her best friend in the eye - not this time when she can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>nothing but broken in her voice alone. “You up for it? You did tell me before that you wanted to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The midfielder remembers but it somehow doesn’t connect. This one, it’s different.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re right, Jeong. Mina does hate me. I never knew I was hurting her, I only did what I thought was right. I didn’t push myself onto her thinking it’ll put her in a difficult situation if I do, it only made it worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can an insensitive ass like you become </span>
  <em>
    <span>this?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Is Jeongyeon’s poor attempt to recover the dying atmosphere in Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soccer star snickers. “I think being polite and careful is insensitive now, don’t you think so?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t. Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To Mina it feels that way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon does not understand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I’d give her some time and space since she made it look that way. Remember the entire time I was running with the team and it felt so off? I felt like she needed it. We were busy and I guess we never had the chance to talk about it,” Nayeon lags, the hurt in Mina’s voice stops her from functioning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon blinks and only now it occurs to her the tears that are pooling and staining her cheeks. She looks up to Jeongyeon, somewhat finding strength in her best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should’ve talked about how we felt. Goddamnit Jeongyeon, why the hell did I kiss her? That’s not how it’s supposed to be!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sudden increase in volume results for the librarian to shout back at them to keep it down. They would’ve laughed it away if the situation isn’t like this. She might as well shout at Nayeon to keep her mouth shut and cry somewhere else.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t get it, what held me back? Did I wait a little too long for her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think you’re the only one who waited. You both did.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it so happens that while Mina waited for Nayeon, pain and unwanted emotions washed over her. While Nayeon waited for Mina, she unintentionally blinded herself from seeing the reasons that hurt her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That while they both waited for each other, it turned into a game that’s only rule is stay. A game that unleashes the green monster and you could only do so much to avoid and conquer it. A game that’s brought pain - a test to see if both are going to win.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is still in. She hopes Mina is too. Hopes that they could win it together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>love </span>
  </em>
  <span>her.” Unconventionally, Nayeon bites her tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love her yet it hurts her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon smiles, albeit sad there’s still a part of her that’s happy for Nayeon. “What’s holding you back this time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m hurting her more. I don’t know what to do, Jeong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Jeongyeon would love to cheer her friend up, she knows it won’t do anything. To advise her to mend things with Mina, talk it out, seems inappropriate for the time being considering their heightened emotions. It’s not the best and it’s going to be the shittiest advice, would even sound like she’s a hypocrite, but Jeongyeon breathes and says, “How about you two both cool down first? Go back home, get some rest and meditate. I don’t know if meditating is still a thing but I heard it’s good. Come back when training starts again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon can hear Jeongyeon loud and clear if she doesn’t say it out in the open.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It can wait.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Love will wait.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon knows it will but she is nowhere sure if love can endure too much pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Love can wait.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it only prolongs the ache that comes of yearning and hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina has to prove to herself that she can endure and that no nuisance can get her to crumble down to the tiniest of pieces because if Im Nayeon does that to her, they’re both losing in their own game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if the water scares her, that it reminds her of how she was able to breathe underwater because of Im Nayeon and how freeing it was to be able to do so. That the same ocean that she swam in for Nayeon was also the reason why her lungs still burn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The starting pistol fires away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina swims in earnest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She should be able to separate her feelings from her professional sport. It’s what she should do as an athlete or else she’ll drown in an ocean that Im Nayeon has already left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon comes home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jihyeon waddles her way over, arms eagerly reaching out ready to be hugged and picked up by the soccer player. Nayeon is home in Jihyeon’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two-year-old and the pure joy in her gives Nayeon a sense of comfort and assurance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I missed you so much,” says Nayeon affectionately, nosing Jihyeon’s soft baby cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jihyeon hiccups, her little body jolting up. “Mama,” she babbles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes baby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon pats her back down gently, making a beeline to the kitchen to fill Jihyeon’s baby bottle with water. Despite having Jihyeon for two years, the responsibilities that come with it is extremely difficult for Nayeon to make her way around. Being a mother is not a skill she can learn overnight yet for Jihyeon she tries her best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patience is what Nayeon is honing through this intimate relationship she has with Jihyeon. It has its ups and downs. It takes time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For Jihyeon, Nayeon hopes to be better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through Jihyeon, Nayeon is going to learn that love endures all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter how difficult it is, how it can tear you into pieces, of how long it will take.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breaks feels like torture to Mina. It means having to face Momo and her barrage of questions that only revolves around Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen her, not even in the dorms. You have any ideas where she went?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina wants to say that she’s asking the wrong person. Aside from the gnawing feeling between her chest and the demons that still eat her up, how could she possibly know where Nayeon is when they ended again on a bad term. And obviously, she doesn’t even have her number in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo has her number. Why ask her?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you tried calling her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The swimmer bobs her head. “I did but all of them went to voicemail. Guess we’ll have to wait for her until their break ends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait until I get hurt again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon has two days left in her hands. Being with family made the process faster, it barely felt like a two-week vacation. With Jihyeon constantly filling up her day, Nayeon temporarily forgot what she's left back at campus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's 9 AM when her phone rings and Nayeon is sure Momo should be at training right now instead of calling her. Being off the grid during her whole stay at home helped Nayeon out so much distract and focus herself on the more important things at hand so when Momo starts yapping at her, it reminds her that this will be over soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where the hell are you?! The whole soccer club disappeared and I have no one to contact to check up on you!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even when she's holding her phone away from her ear, Nayeon can still hear Momo's voice loud and clear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Calm down, it's not like I've been kidnapped. I had my phone off ever since I came home." She explains.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon can hear the concern from the other line, the way Momo's sigh is audible, it makes her giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wonders if Mina feels the same way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not a hundred and one percent sure so I'm going there. Text me your address."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you serious? Don't you have training?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pitting the phone between her ear and shoulder, Momo zips up her tracksuit. "Yes, I also get to see Jihyeon so why not? Training starts a little later after lunch, I can swing by."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In the early morning, seeing each other in casual wrinkled sleeping clothes topped by bed hair is a normal occurrence in their shared room. Nayeon had a lot of moments that Momo made fun of. For example: that one time when Nayeon had worn her shirt inside out and the tag was sticking out in front.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To see Im Nayeon in casual clothes as she carries Jihyeon in her arms cooing at the sleepy baby is a sure meltdown for Hirai Momo at 10 AM.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon welcomes her into their humble abode filled with Nayeon's achievements and of Jihyeon's messy yet harmonious drawings of abstract lines pinned at what's supposed to be a study desk. Momo has never felt so much warmth radiating from Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can I hold her?" Tentatively, Momo opens up her arms to Jihyeon that's staring at her as if trying to remember if she's seen her before. It's adorable for Momo, the way doe eyes look up at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Nayeon replies, holding Jihyeon out for Momo to hold and cradle. It's awkward to say the least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The soccer player stifles a laugh. Jokingly, she threatens the swimmer. "By the way, you won't be swimming for months if something bad happens to Jihyeon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And if she cries?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You won't be going back to training soon if that happens." A smirk plays on her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo never held a child before, someone as gentle and as soft as Jihyeon. Doe eyes lock onto her, curiosity filled her small orbs. In hopes to appeal to the child, Momo tries her best to appear less "intimidating" (as Nayeon had told her over the phone because Jihyeon doesn't like it). She's put her bangs down and Nayeon thinks it's a silly try.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's the duffle bag about?" Nayeon points at the bag leaning against at the end of the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Snacks for Jihyeon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon makes a face. "What about me? You didn't buy me anything?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo jumps and flinches from the harsh pull of the toddler at her sideburns. She pouts, "I bought you snacks, why are you attacking me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She probably likes you. Isn't that right, Jihyeon?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The eruption of giggles from the toddler confirms her positive attachment for Momo, doe eyes shining as she tries to reach for Momo's face next with her short baby arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Momo pretty," Jihyeon utters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Momo can attest that no amount of physical training can compare to how draining it is to watch over a child that's only agenda is to run around the house and roll over several times in their front lawn and somehow still manage to have the energy for a walk in the park. Of course, Momo would say yes to Jihyeon. Who is she to not grant the adorable child's wish?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"When are you coming back? It's a little lonely at the dorm I don't have someone to annoy." Momo whines, glances at Jihyeon's small hand fully holding Nayeon's pinky.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon has a lot on her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"After two days? Kinda sucks since we have to train right away. What about you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"As usual. Is everything alright though? You just went and disappeared. I can't even get a hold of Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung since I don't have their numbers."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stopping their trail, Nayeon kneels to pick up the whining and exhausted Jihyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is Mina okay?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't think she is." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Has she ever been... okay? Like, happy?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truthfully, Mina has not shown that side to Momo yet despite the years of friendship. In Momo's part, she feels bad and hurt about it. Happy is hard to come by and Momo has only seen genuine happiness in Mina when Nayeon came along. She supposes that maybe Nayeon isn't originally part of Mina's plan but the more they've spent time together, she's managed to fit Nayeon right in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>However, Momo knows that happiness is not always the case. Mina has a lot more conflicts to be truly happy. She has yet to defeat her inner demons.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Happiness does not always come from another person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope she will be," Nayeon whispers. "Soon."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>League season is always hectic, tight, and Nayeon has barely enough time to catch her breath when the whistle blows again and it's time for her to enter the field.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Earlier when Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung had waited for her, the duo had discreetly steered the way away from all the possible routes that Nayeon would be seeing a certain swimmer. As much as they want them to patch things up, now is not the right time. They need Nayeon in the game, focused and solely dedicated to what's currently in her plate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming back to the campus, for Nayeon, meant facing the responsibilities she's put on hold and resolving conflicted emotions and relationships.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The news broke out, of course. At least between Mina and Momo, when the latter had showed up at the pool area after changing into her swimming suit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These days as training becomes more taxing than it already is, Nayeon's found herself at the rooftop at night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tonight, however, the breeze feels different. It's colder and thicker, the gas seeping through her body despite being covered in layers of clothing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's getting lonelier now. Spending time with Jihyeon and then coming back to restless training drags Nayeon's morale down when it shouldn't in the first place. Jihyeon is her source of strength at times like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The screen glares back at Nayeon who is contemplating whether to call her aunt and ask about Jihyeon. It won't hurt but she decides against it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it's just the weather that made her feel like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Certainly not because of this place.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Was that kiss even worth something to you?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's worth hurting for, Mina.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm thinking it was a mistake to kiss you."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What held me back?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could have said it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I hate how I felt everything."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time Nayeon finds herself at the rooftop is when she's feeling particularly sad and the strong pull of missing people she adores so much, it gets a little too strong. Practice is still as hard and tiring. Nayeon feels the world pitting her down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it's dead silent, nothing but the rustling of nature gazing and caressing her senses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reminds her again of Mina. How silent it was between her and Mina when she had asked if she felt the same sentiment as her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence before was louder than it is right now. This one, Nayeon can still properly breathe in without caving in and let the tears pool at her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"...I'm never enough."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon can only do so much to make Mina feel like she's everything to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mina do you have time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina gets pulled to the locker room. Momo is leaning at the metal lockers, peering at her with brows bunched up together and eyes that holds so much suppressed curiosity. One that is close to bursting the container if not entertained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina’s learned that Momo can always turn the table around no matter the situation is. She can </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>feel it coming around the corner, even closer when Momo finally sighs and sags her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the towel hanging around her shoulder, she flaps it before wrapping it around her frame to protect herself from whatever is about to come at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A familiar gut feeling punches her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s been in a similar situation, only it’s with Nayeon and it’s a hundred-fold more destructive than this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you want something, Momo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing really, just want to check up on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her heart swells. How unfair it is for Momo to be seen as Mina’s rival when not a single cell in her whole being sees Mina in that light, when all Momo offers her is kindness and patience. Momo is always understanding and Mina feels so undeserving of her friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another invisible punch lands at her stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is why Momo is better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still hurt, you know. You haven’t told me what’s bothering you, anything at all.” Momo slumps down on the tiled floor, hugging her knees closer. Looking up at Mina, she can’t help but feel useless as a friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina sees it in Momo’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do me a favor and get out of your comfort zone, Mina. You’ve been playing prisoner yourself, when the hell are you going to stop? You can do </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>much more if you stop being like this to yourself!” Momo croaks as each word builds a lump in her throat – frustrated and hopeless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you like this Mina?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in front of Momo, towering over the great pearl, Mina never knew it’d feel so disgustingly sick and twisted to be above Hirai Momo. To have hurt her friend like this, she wants to throw up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Every time something good is about to happen, you find a ridiculous way to stop it. And don’t you dare think I haven’t noticed that every single time you come second you always take a look at me. What is it? Why are you so bent into undermining yourself?” Momo holds it back. She needs to get this together. She is not going to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you happy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you happy?” Nayeon had asked her before and it never resonated with her: happy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is she?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She isn’t.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not even after she tried, in her smallest voice and said, “Make me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I’m not happy.” It’s a sick feeling to finally admit it, to have Momo gaze at her as if to tell her she doesn’t know what to do anymore. That it’s not a fight she could help her in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not happy every time I collapse into thinking I’m never enough, that I don’t deserve anything. How can I, someone who’s always second, would be as good as you? I’m not happy with swimming anymore, Momo. I’m not happy that I’m tearing everything up, pitting myself against you, and this stupid push and pull with Nayeon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even through the tears that now taint her, Momo can now finally see through all the time Mina had a pained and strained smile on her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not happy with myself.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I forgot to mention last chapter that Jihyeon is an OC since I kind of don't have any idea who will be ideal to be Nayeon's cute little niece.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the flashes start again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Things... don't always go the way Nayeon wants it to be. And for Mina, the flashes are starting again.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>College League starts tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Athletes who undergo immense stress and pressure before a match is a normal occurrence. To Nayeon however, to finally be able to walk through the field she’s been anticipating and wanting her whole life is a boost to her confidence. It is like being able to rev the engine harder bringing it to life full force. While the others are trying to get over the pre-match jitters, much like Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung who dedicated their free time by running around the track for a couple of laps all the while bumping each other by the shoulder, Nayeon is at her dorm lying down staring at the white ceiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the biggest events of her life is about to come crashing at her and she’s prepared for it through sweat and trainings that lasted for more than half a day. As an athlete, Nayeon always wanted more for herself. And hopefully if things go well and according to game plan, Nayeon has one less problem to worry about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tired?” Momo asks as she comes around her own bed, ready to sleep the night away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon hums in response then turns to her side and sees Momo taking the towel wrapped around her wet hair off.  “How’s Mina doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon never knew that purposely avoiding Mina for months would take so much toll on her. (But love endures.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re really something Im Nayeon,” she chuckles. “You have a lot on your plate yet here you are checking on my best friend who you claim to not love you anymore, like humanity’s lost faith. You have it bad, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon likes to believe (and fool herself) that time can heal all wounds but Momo would argue with her because not all wounds are going to heal if those who suffer from it keeps finding a reason to open it. You can’t help a hardheaded patient heal. Unless she shows improvements of actually helping herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And thank god you still haven’t kicked me in the face for breaking your best friend’s heart.” Nayeon smiles – a sad one that holds regret and sorry for all the time that’s lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t mean I won’t. You and me have issues with Mina. I don’t know if things will go our way but I’m dealing with it the best I can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tiny flame of hope within Nayeon still flares.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I can?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can she?” Momo knows that Nayeon knows that this not only solely lies on her but also with Mina. She can’t keep carrying the burden that two people must share in order to achieve their common goal. That is, if they do share the same goal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s going to come around eventually. Mina knows she has to sort herself out and more than anyone she’s the only one who can help herself.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There it is again. The subtle yet painfully obvious game of waiting for each other. But the way Momo is talking, she has to believe the only person that has every means to communicate with Mina. Someone who understands Mina better than Nayeon can.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t help but think you and Jeongyeon are meeting up and conspiring about things you should say to us.” Nayeon chimes, rolling onto her back again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when Momo doesn’t verbally answer her and resort to tucking herself to bed, Nayeon knows. Doesn’t have to say anything because she for sure did not deny anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hopefully Mina does the same because now Nayeon is lost to where she stands with Mina. If they’re still even friends at this point. If Mina is going to even look at her direction or even tolerate her voice within vicinity.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get some sleep, Nayeon. I’ll make sure she watches the match tomorrow. You can count on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thousands of soccer fans fill up the seats and from how loud they’re cheering and stomping, they could make the ground shake which leaves Nayeon wanting to bring this game to a clear win. It is always exciting and a way to pump her adrenaline on maximum whenever the crowd is receptive and downright noisy, hooting and howling until their throats run dry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s ironic how Nayeon can always find focus and the drive to surge forward even when everything around her is shouting at her, cheering, and on the edge of their seats anticipating if she’ll be able to run past her opponents and make the sweet goal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon came here because she’s got a lot to prove and show to people that greatness and excellence does not come in form of luck or who your opponents are. It’s all the reasons that made Nayeon strive hard to be here today: the promise to Jihyeon, the fulfillment of her dream, all the days and nights she’s spent practicing and honing her skills to a sharp and perfect finish,  and hopefully to Mina whether she’s watching or not that Nayeon is also offering this win to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That if Nayeon can climb great heights like this, so can she.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Great athletes are not built overnight. Nayeon still has some jagged parts to her but that keeps her from not giving up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And wins are not entirely because of Im Nayeon running around the field back and forth but because of her teammates that work in perfect unison with her, executing plays they’ve practiced for countless of days and water bottles, giving each other pats at the back for trying their best, and how they come together to share the same goal of winning the College League.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their coach is at the sidelines, too, shouting at his players signals and cues that deem fit for the current situation, analyzing both his team and the opponents’ actions through the course. Nayeon lets him go off, even raises a thumbs up to his way, because apart from being the red blob Nayeon describes him to be, he knows his players well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goal!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung runs around the post, rolling on the ground and then gets back up as quickly as she made the goal with her arms up flailing around in pure excitement and ecstasy to contribute to the team’s goal. Nayeon bumps chest with her in midair ruffling her already messy hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today is going to be good.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon can feel it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But a good game does not mean effortlessly winning and shooting it because your opponents are not on par, a good game comes in having to struggle with the tight difference of their scores. Scoring a goal meant provoking the other team and the inevitable goal of the other side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one is safe today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>College League is what Nayeon expects it to be. Facing opponents that are on par with her skillset and the same eyes that hold purpose and meaning as to why they should do everything they can to win this game. If Nayeon were to describe this moment, it’d be like setting both herself and her opponents on fire to see who’s going to burn brighter and devour the field down to ashes until they win.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Nayeon is exhausted, her own flame exhausting as she comes to catch her breath when the whistle was blown. She has to get this together because everyone is counting on each other and she’s afraid that if she shows any sign it’s going to affect the team’s morale. Over the course of their tiresome training, Nayeon learned how to value the team and how it functions altogether as one whole piece and not as individuals running round and round on the field alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two years ago, Nayeon felt exactly how to play alone. With the seniors backstabbing her and underestimating the freshman, Nayeon had to gear herself up for a battle meant to be waged with an army and not by a lone solider. Now, Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung, and everyone are moving together as one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though it is a beautiful sight, they will have to put this coordination to the test.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re out of breath,” Her coach comments, handing Nayeon a towel as she comes trudging with towards the benches. “I’m substituting you until later. Get some rest, we’ll need you to finish the game.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back in the dorm lounge area where athletes have gathered with one sole purpose of cheering for their very own soccer team, Momo had unceremoniously appeared betting with people she’s unfamiliar with of who’s going to kick the winning goal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bets are heavily divided between Nayeon and Seulgi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the promising statistics during the Qualifiers, one has to shine brighter than the other. Competition is always good to push an athlete to improve and be better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo sees Mina at the corner back of the room, alone and all to herself but eyes are glued and intensely focused on the screen. She wonders if Mina is as nervous as Momo. Seeing Nayeon and the others play meant being physical and it is part of their chosen sport unlike swimming. There are no bodies clashing with one another when an interception has to happen, no flesh gliding at the ground trying to keep the ball in possession. You are on your own in swimming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goal!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone rises from their seats howling, giving each other high fives and chest bumps as Chaeyoung scored a goal for the team.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh? Look’s like Nayeon is getting a substitute,” Dahyun comments and points at the screen which turn heads and gains attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She looks tired.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even at the furthest point of the room, Mina hears and hopes that everything Nayeon’s trained for won’t go down the drain. Being away from the soccer player gave Mina the space and calm that she very much needed from her heightened emotions. And to push and set aside those feelings, Mina can support Nayeon in her own quiet way, hands clasped together hoping for the best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon heads inside for a bathroom break.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The score now stands 3-2. It’s a tight match and the longer that it drags the way it is right now with player running back and forth, passing the ball to another only to get it stolen from possession, they are bound to grow tired. Even Chaeyoung who’s usually the best in maintaining her energy and breathe can feel it weigh her down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s Nayeon?” The coach asks eyes trained on the players at the field, no time to keep his eyes off of them. He stands with his arms crossed against his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the benched players tiptoes and searches the sides of the field searching for a jersey with 22 printed on the back. Going back to their coach she says, “Still in the bathroom I think?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first half is nearing its end. He thinks it’s necessary for them to gather up and discuss another play to execute and secure the bag.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go find her I have some things to discuss with her before I put her in again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She salutes to their coach, a snicker is what she receives, and then she’s off inside the building to search for Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looks at the scoreboard again. The position they are in is far from outstanding. With the players breathing heavier each passing minute, a new tactic has to be implemented. And as far as his trust goes, he knows Nayeon can lead her teammates to a victory that will be imprinted not only in their record but to the world that they’ve won the College League.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon might be the hardest to come to terms with, always loud and about with her friends, a handful of lates and a record streak of going missing during practices, but she can pull off plays to perfection. He respects Nayeon very much and to yell at her in a voice that coats no softness and rainbows is what he believes would mold the soccer star into becoming a better player.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has yet to talk with Nayeon about her record after the game. There is no doubt that sponsors will be coming after the promising star of the soccer field wearing the jersey numbered 22 and a clear print of IM in capital letters. Such a talent for it to go to waste.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever happened to Im Nayeon two years ago, a mindboggling past that somehow is gradually being erased through wins back to back, his coach hopes it won’t happen again. Nayeon is up on her own two feet and the world for her to conquer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two years ago, Nayeon had lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two years after, the player that her coach sent to find her comes running in haste and a worrisome voice she shakes, “Coach I think we have to file a case of a missing soccer player…” She bows repeatedly and then adds, “I’ve searched the comfort rooms even the ones in at the second floor and asked the staffs around but they said they didn’t see Nayeon in any way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tries not to show panic. “The locker rooms? Have you checked the locker rooms?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dejectedly, she nods. “Didn’t find her there either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is bad. Where the hell would that idiot go now?” He frowns. “Even at games she goes missing, god what do I do with that kid!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> /</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The halftime break ends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t Nayeon playing now? Where the hell is she?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the heck they’re not letting Nayeon in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A girl in her tracksuit snickers. “You like Nayeon that much?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I do? You got a problem with that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Mina does, apparently. But she keeps it to herself.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even two years later Nayeon finds herself losing again. With the walls of the hospital enclosing in on her each step she takes to the ward, tears help themselves down Nayeon’s cheeks. Right now, Jihyeon is the only person in her mind and the deathly worry she has cannot be overcome until she sees Jihyeon peacefully sleeping.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Back at the stadium, Nayeon had quickly called to check on Jihyeon as she was unable to do so this morning and never had she ran that fast past the exit of the building to get here. Had she not called her aunt she’d still be playing and securing an obnoxious win all the while Jihyeon lies on a hospital bed – collapsed earlier that day and was immediately sent to the medical facility.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A simple “She’s sleeping” won’t do Nayeon any good. This is Jihyeon that they are talking about and more than anything, she cannot let the precious two-year-old be alone. Nayeon repeats what was written in the past, but this time, hopefully, that when Jihyeon opens her eyes and call out to her, she’ll be there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon had lost her sister and it still eats her up to this day, even though she’s grown strong enough not to break down at the mention of her sister, the guilt is still there. She wasn’t there for her sister. She could’ve been there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is what Nayeon fears the most. Losing someone when she could’ve done something. When she could’ve been there before it all happens.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the past week, Jihyeon had been showing symptoms of high fevers on and off. It had raised alarm with her aunt but to this very moment she regrets not calling Nayeon this morning when Jihyeon had fallen ill again and had collapsed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(“Hey,” Nayeon greets her aunt. Calling her and checking up on Jihyeon seems like the only available option for her to not sink into depressing thoughts. “Everything alright there?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m not so sure about that.” She replies in hesitation.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why?  Did something happen?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nayeon is in match season right now. She knows it’s not the right time but Nayeon is, after all, Jihyeon’s family.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jihyeon got hospitalized yesterday. For the last week she keeps having high fevers, on and off. But don’t worry too much, she’s okay now.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nayeon pretends it doesn’t break her heart not to be with Jihyeon right now.)</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To see Nayeon still wearing her soccer uniform, tears rolling down her cheeks bursting open through the ward, it breaks her heart to have kept it from her. If anything from their past experience, two years ago specifically, she knew Nayeon would give up everything for family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even if it meant her dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The promise of winning the College League.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The taste of winning the Nationals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Family or nothing. Nayeon had learned to prioritize and value people from her experiences. That even if this is going to cost her entire career, family comes first. No amount of success would suffice the treasure that is family. Related or not, family is family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s going to be okay right? Jihyeon is okay?” This is the voice that comes out of desperation and painful worry. Crying at the ill and bedridden child, Nayeon could only gently caress the sleeping Jihyeon in her imagination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The doctor said she will be. They’ll do checks again when she wakes up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her aunt wraps her arm around Nayeon’s shoulder in hopes to give the girl protection and assurance that everything will be alright. Jihyeon is alright, she will be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nayeon, you have a game waiting for you. When you finish you can visit Jihyeon after,” she says carefully, afraid to hit the wrong spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks up at her as if she’s said something wrong – disappointed that even after the years the message is still not as clear. “The game can fucking wait, my future can wait. Jihyeon won’t. I don’t want her waking up to no one and crying because people that are supposed to be by her side are not! She won’t know until she’s old what she’s been through but all I can do is guarantee her that I won’t leave. God, Jihyeon is my life! This kid keeps me fucking sane and grounded and the least I could do for her is be there! Something I should’ve done before!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her aunt baffles Nayeon. How can the simplest concept of family not get through her head? She might as well be overreacting but she will never risk losing family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet her aunt understands this: the way that Nayeon is feeling right now, how strong the connection between her and Jihyeon is something only Nayeon could understand and feel. Being a mother to your niece is not as easy counting from one to three. Having to juggle between responsibilities is difficult as it is. But to have Jihyeon is a love unconditional to Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would rather want Jihyeon to know that I’m a two-time loser of going missing and abandoning a soccer league match than me walking and living my future with the regret that I wasn’t there for her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two years later, Im Nayeon is the strongest that she could ever be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Midfielder Yoo Jeongyeon and Forward Son Chaeyoung should be happy that they’ve won the College League against tough opponents that are all out in trying to win the shiny trophy and the privilege of securing a sponsor. Wins are always celebrated happily but it doesn’t sit right to why their best friend Im Nayeon disappeared and quit the match halfway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hurry up and call her!” Chaeyoung fusses in panic, hands flailing around, not sure of what to do that their best friend is nowhere to be found.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think am I doing?” Jeongyeon frowns, her phone closely pressed to her ear waiting for the person on the other line to pick up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh- uh, this is Nayeon’s phone right?” She checks her phone if she’s mistaken the contact. It clearly says Nayeon and her designated personal number below her name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes this is Nayeon’s phone. Are you one of her friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung clings to Jeongyeon in desperate need to hear her friend’s voice. She gets pushed to the side, an angry pout emerges from her lips, and she crosses her arms below her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we are. Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon. May I know who is this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is her aunt-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, right sorry about that. Is Nayeon there? And if she is, we don’t really care if she doesn’t want to see us right now but we’re worried as shit, can you tell us where you two are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all arrive at the ward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon is equally as confused as Chaeyoung seeing that Hirai Momo is already sitting beside a child’s bed seemingly so concerned, no Nayeon around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo? What brings you here?” Chaeyoung steps out instead because Jeongyeon is dysfunctional as of the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking back to see who was calling for her, Momo offers Chaeyoung a smile and ushers her to come over. Puzzled as to why she’s watching over a kid Chaeyoung asks, “Is she a relative of yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Realizing that none of Nayeon’s friends excluding her knows about Jihyeon’s existence, Momo tries not to interfere with Nayeon’s plans. She reasons, “No, but I am watching over her. Do you mind watching her? I’ll go get Nayeon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung replaces Momo’s former seat and watches her disappear out of the room. That did not answer her curiosity as to why Nayeon is in the hospital and coincidentally why Momo is here too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moments later, Momo walks side by side with Nayeon in tow. The swimmer approaches Jeongyeon at the side of the room leaning against the cold wall and tells her to come over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon could only smile, apologetic that she’s abandoned her team, standing awkwardly among the circle with her hands tucked to her side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon has her arms crossed over her chest, looking back and forth from Momo to the kid sleeping and then to the soccer player that had magically disappeared during the match. Whatever the equation was, it doesn’t make any sense to the midfielder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She bares a scowl, “What the hell are you fucking pulling Im Nayeon? I don’t fucking get you, believe me I always try to understand whatever goes on in that head of yours, but disappearing on us like that? God, Nayeon do you know how worried we are?” Jeongyeon hisses with gritted teeth, clenching her fists at the sides, holding herself back from doing anything physical to the soccer player.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You better have an excuse I can digest before I spit on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon keeps her eyes everywhere, anything but on her friends. “Did you guys win?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t matter,” Jeongyeon spits and thank god Chaeyoung is there to pull Jeongyeon back before she could lay a finger on their friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I disappeared like that,” Nayeon sighs. She is going to understand that they are nothing but disappointed in her. Who wouldn’t when everyone expects you to be there, lead them, and show the world what you’ve got? They have their expectations and Nayeon let them down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“An emergency came up and I- I can’t leave Jihyeon the way she is and I just took the easiest way out, ran and checked on my baby-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What crack are you smoking? Baby?” Jeongyeon nears the line of accusatory, that Nayeon is out of it. “Get your fucking head together, Im Nayeon!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon looks at the sleeping Jihyeon, Jeongyeon does too. “That’s Jihyeon. I adopted her since my sister died. Remember two years ago? Stupid rumors about me and all that shit. That was it. I know you’re going to shove at me that I should’ve been professional but Jeongyeon can you fucking blame me? I lost my sister before in the same hospital and I wasn’t there on time.” She croaks, pauses before her voice cracks. “I love Jihyeon – god, I’m willing to give up everything for this kid!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung alternates her focus on Jihyeon and Nayeon, the slight semblance of an Im now making things clearer than it first was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon stares at Momo who’s been quiet for some time now. “You knew about this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods, “It was on accident. I saw them outside and things happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you didn’t tell us anything about this?” Jeongyeon jabs a hard finger to Nayeon’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to tell you after the finals but – I’m sorry, really, I didn’t know this would happen and god I just messed up big time, didn’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon would’ve tacked Im Nayeon to the ground for real if it weren’t for the fact that, as much as their life revolves soccer and the likes of it, before Nayeon is a soccer player running rounds in the field and scoring goals, she’s a person with a family like the rest of them. Instead, she throws light punches to her shoulders in replacement of the finger she’s jabbed so hard at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stay like that for a few moments until Jeongyeon breaks it again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re so stupid,” Jeongyeon mutters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Im Nayeon you are such a stupid person,” To this Nayeon softens and she can finally look at all of them in eyes. Jeongyeon pulls her in for a hug. She freezes, unable to reciprocate the arms that now envelop her</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m still upset with you, just so you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m so fucking relieved that nothing bad happened to you and to Jihyeon!” Chaeyoung adds, squeezing herself in the hug that was previously for two – luckily Jeongyeon has long arms to let the small Forward in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon ends the hug and she thinks it’s now time for her to change the spotlight to Momo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re threatening us as Nayeon’s best friend,” She jokes, offering the swimmer a grin. “You’re in for a lifelong headache with Nayeon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can tell,” Momo smiles. “Isn’t that right, Nayeon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Overwhelmed at the whiplash of the moment, Nayeon is left staring at the three who are looking at her expectantly. She's been on an unwanted rollercoaster today – it’s so exhausting in every aspect yet Nayeon knows that after today, or maybe after Jihyeon wakes up and all is good, she has a lot of explaining to do to her team and her coach. Knows that she’s not going to have a miracle that’s going to save her face in all of the population of the university, the athletes that watched her, and everyone that follows the soccer scene.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She calls for her aunt that was waiting outside the ward, asked for a small favor to watch over Jihyeon. Herding her friends outside for some late night coffee or whatever excuse she can come up with to breath fresh air, Nayeon settles herself down and they all follow after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For the record, I’m not buying you guys free drinks or food.” Nayeon declares before anyone gets the idea of leaching from her wallet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to clear my head of everything but that’s not going to happen anytime soon.” The soccer player frowns – out of all the days that could’ve fucked up it had to be today.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What bad luck is Nayeon attracting?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry we’ll help you,” assures Chaeyoung.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Son Chaeyoung is not as outspoken like Jeongyeon and Momo. For all the time that Nayeon knew her little friend, Chaeyoung is a woman of her words. She rarely to never break her promises. So to have Chaeyoung assure her, the way she does, Nayeon is putting her trust in her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Death day comes a little too early for Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung had assured her that they were going to try and explain it the best that they can to their teammates first. They were, in fact, very receptive to the first part of the story that’s about Nayeon bolting out as instinct because of an emergency. However when they had gotten to the part where it involves skepticism and proofs, making sense out of the story is hard especially when they don’t have Nayeon and her pictures with Jihyeon to back their claims.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, that was a good start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next comes the harder part of talking to their coach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that point, Chaeyoung had convinced Nayeon to show up and do her part of the plan. She is the instigator of this after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon shows up wearing the baggiest of bags that her wardrobe can offer her from track pants to her overly bright mustard yellow hoodie. It’s not the best cover but Nayeon has hypnotized herself to blur and muffle out all the unnecessary things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s inside. Try not to say anything out of the blue or get carried away by emotions, kinda important.” Jeongyeon whispers at her before she gets pushed inside the office.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon stands awkwardly at the middle, hands attached to her side, unfamiliar with this kind of setting that feels like she’s sent to the principal’s office for something she’s done which is not that farfetched. She coughs in attempt to get his attention away from the paper work he was working on – probably the sponsorships of everyone that had no disappeared from the match.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, there’s no way I’m still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey coach,” Nayeon utters, stuck if she’s supposed to use the formal and sorry voice she’s not used to projecting or the usual ‘I’m Im Nayeon so please hear me out’ kind of voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t hey me, Im.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is effective, that Nayeon firmly believes now that he’s using the voice of authority that he should’ve used on her before than shouting and busting his lungs out at her. But now that he’s projecting his voice like this Nayeon knows she’s walking around egg shells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Congratulations by the way. The team won the match!” She tries (fails ultimately) to enthuse, not wanting to start this talk with all the negativity and heavy feelings they both have for each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean the match you left us all?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That stings. A lot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still is Nayeon’s dream that they are talking about. She’d be lying to herself if she were to say that after she’s calmed down and collected her emotions and mind it didn’t crush everything in her. She had worked hard to get where she was. Was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I really do commend how thick faced you are Nayeon. Leaving your team for the whole nation to know and wonder where the hell you are, Im Nayeon the rising superstar that didn’t made it, is that how you want to be remembered? Where the hell was your “I promise to do my best” attitude? Your team needed you, I know it doesn’t only require you to win this big match, but are you that insensitive? Can’t you keep your word for at least one match?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Nayeon whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But somehow he heard her. “I know you are. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am so sorry,” she repeats, albeit shaking at the discomfort that disappointment brings, Nayeon keeps her feet planted on the ground. “I’m sorry for being a disappointment, believe me I hate being one but what difference does that make now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What difference do you want to make? The world is not all about forgiveness, it’s about redemption. Im Nayeon the world is going to shit at you and attack you using your records, two big matches that you’ve abandoned, that won’t guarantee you an easy way to the Nationals. People will doubt your credentials before they criticize you to the smallest irrelevant detail.” He breathes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m your coach, Nayeon. I want all of you to be out there playing with nothing to worry about because everything is secured and at the palm of your hands. You’re such a talent to just be recognized as the player that backs out during the big events. You had it right there so why the hell did you throw it away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon bows. Palms touching the carpeted floor and body bended over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stand up, Im Nayeon. I don’t want to see you like this, get on your feet. It’s been done and over and I don’t need you saying sorry like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why the hell are you not mad? I’d prefer it if you were shouting at me – fuck!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stands before Nayeon, stoic instead of the soccer player’s usual red angry blob of a coach yapping away and telling Nayeon to get her ass to training.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would be shouting at you if I were upset but I’m not. I am disappointed in you Nayeon. Stand up before I rip your papers and sponsorships apart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon does so, fast that she’s clutching at his arm out of desperation. “Sponsorship? I’m out of that so why do I have one?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t, not now, but it’s up to you to take it or not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How could she? A sponsorship despite running from a match that’s supposed to determine a secure spot? Nayeon knows for a fact that she’s not worthy of it – her mind wonders and travels back to Mina in that short time if this is how it feels? Is this how Mina feels?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not in the right mind so I want you to think it through. Have some time for yourself because my athletes are not going to be fed that easily. And I know for a fact that you’re not going to accept things the way that they are right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you telling me to go on a break?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods. “Better than moping around the field, isn’t it? Yoo and Son are far from liars but I’m still going to make them accountable for what they’ve said.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They told you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If they didn’t who would? You, Im Nayeon, are the biggest pain in the ass of an athlete. Go home and come back when things are okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hugs him for the first time since they’ve met, odd yet it assures Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll work hard for that sponsorship, coach.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is relieved that it did not end as dramatic as she had pictured it inside her head. She does not need another reason to make her head ache from all the nagging she’s received from Jeongyeon (and little excerpts from Chaeyoung who’s surprisingly as good as their tallest friend).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the time given to her, Nayeon packs her clothes. She won’t be here for quite some time now that time and circumstance have permitted her to be quietly away. Going on park dates with Jihyeon sounds good when she recovers her healthy body, had remembered how happy and active Jihyeon was when the three of them (with Momo) had gone out to walk in the park.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo sits beside Nayeon’s stroller pushing it back and forth as she could only watch her friend pack her things. It’s going to be lonely with no Nayeon around the dorm. Momo can’t help but hug the stroller close to her chest, a pout on her lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you sulking for?” Nayeon glances at the swimmer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t believe that my first year in this dorm I already have my roommate leaving.” Momo huffs, and blows on her loose bangs. “Can I visit Jihyeon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon chuckles, smiling at Momo and nods. “The next time you do be sure to bring me food too and not just Jihyeon. She’s going to appreciate that so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, right.” She rolls her eyes and lands a soft punch at Nayeon’s shoulder. “You appreciate that. I’m going to bring Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung with me because I swear! Taking care of Jihyeon takes like, at least three people, and I’m sure she’s enough to shut Jeongyeon up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh trust me, Jihyeon is enough to shut all the three of you up. I bet the three of you won’t survive a whole day with how active my baby is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo grins. “My baby- psshh! If I was a year younger I’d look more like a baby!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh? Jihyeon doesn’t like competition, she’s a queen of her own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well she has to embrace me, Jeongyeon, and Chaeyoung because she’s going to meet the best aunts in the world! Me being her favorite, of course.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Giggling, Nayeon stops fiddling with her clothes and looks back at Momo. “She called you pretty that doesn’t guarantee you you’re her favorite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How the hell does Jihyeon keep up with someone as boring as you, Nayeon?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is going to miss this. The stupid banters with Momo that somehow makes sense no matter how far they stray from the actual topic. Who would’ve thought her one night stand turned roommate is going to be one of Jihyeon’s aunts? Momo is undeniably a great friend, is always understanding and open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bursting through the door with the loudest bang and the widest and biggest smile that Nayeon has ever seen on Jeongeon’s face, the midfielder forms a makeshift megaphone with her hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright losers! Is Im Nayeon ready? We don’t have all day!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung shoves Jeongyeon to the side and happily jumps on Nayeon. Their bodies crash against the floor along with an audible thud that follows after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Son Chaeyoung what the hell?” Nayeon groans, pushing the small soccer player off of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not your baby anymore!” Uncharacteristically Chaeyoung whines and latches herself more to the person beneath her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jeongyeon what is she talking about?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Closing the door behind her, Jeongyeon shrugs. “She’s lost it apparently. Don’t mind Chaeyoung too much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I may not be the target of that foul and insensitive mouth of yours, I’m going to miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Acting like a bouncer, Jeongyeon peels Chaeyoung off of Nayeon with great force against the koala tendencies that their friend has.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung pouts, again shoving Jeongyeon to the side. “Like you’re not going to miss Nayeon!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chaeyoung,” Jeongyeon deadpans. “She’s not quitting university nor leaving the fucking country and as much as I love Nayeon, I’m finally going to have a break from her! God do you know how long have I waited for this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A jacket gets slapped right in Jeongyeon’s face coming from Nayeon that’s pretending she’s hurt over a lame excuse that only Yoo Jeongyeon could come up with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo you’re only allowed to bring Chaeyoung with you when you visit, okay? I don’t want Jihyeon learning bad things from this giant.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? That’s no fair! I want to see Jihyeon too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon sticks her tongue out then says, “Sucks to be you, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yeah, Nayeon is definitely going to miss this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(“I’m coming home, Jihyeon.”)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you can handle all of this? You know I can always stay and help you out, Nayeon.” Her aunt offers in the midst of helping Nayeon unpack her things and neatly stash it inside the soccer player’s cabinet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How ironic it is that Nayeon can’t take good care of herself but when it comes to other people she’s willing to go an extra mile just to assure that everything goes well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But love is unconditional for Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s about time that she does something for Jihyeon out of the soccer field.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being a mother is hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon won’t go into the hardships of the hows of raising a kid because she’s still in the act itself. But effort alone to always tend to someone be it the need to feed, bath, or change Jihyeon’s diaper, no matter how frustrating it is when Jihyeon cries out of the blue and how tiring it is to put the child to sleep, to see Jihyeon well and happy gratifies Nayeon so much. There’s something fulfilling about being able to make someone you love happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And all of that is just the tip of the iceberg to being one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can’t compare it to anything at all – it naturally surpasses them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wonders if her sister is proud of her and Jihyeon that they’ve made it this far, thriving and slowly putting each piece together. When Jihyeon was first born Nayeon had been ecstatic, too eager to be able to hold the baby in her own arms and cradle it as gently as she can. She even stayed at the hospital for days until she can properly see both her sister and Jihyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Happiness is what Nayeon felt when she first burst through the doors seeing her sister holding Jihyeon in her arms while they both sleep. They were peaceful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now that Nayeon has Jihyeon in her own arms, sleeping soundly because it’s past her bedtime already, it isn’t unlikely that she and her sister had felt the same – the warmth that it offers to soften their heart and soothe their worries, Jihyeon has that effect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon had been fussing ever since they boarded the cab back at campus. Being a worrywart is a rare side to the midfielder but the mere thought of seeing and actually playing with Nayeon’s baby is such a bizarre idea. But not in a bad way – it’s just that she’s never really thought that I’d come this earlier that they’ll be playing with Nayeon’s kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god!” Jeongyeon cries. “Does she like being held? What the hell am I going to do if I drop her? Chaeyou-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung pushes her friend’s face away that got too close to her, unamused to this whole fiasco that Jeongyeon is pulling. “If you’re going to be like this for sure the kid won’t even want to breathe near you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo laughs. Her first time with Jihyeon was unexpected. Never did she imagine that she’d see Nayeon holding a kid and then giving the child utmost care as if she isn’t a rough player on the field. Maybe it was because the situation was so out of the blue that Momo had not felt panicked around the child.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jihyeon is adorable in every possible way that Momo can think of.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Except the part that she’s too active and has longer stamina than her. Gosh it was so tiring to run after the girl for a solid hour!)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words “We’re here” freaked Jeongyeon out even more when she sees Nayeon approaching the cab with Jihyeon clutching at Nayeon’s dress.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with Jihyeon next to Jeongyeon, the girl is tiny. Tinier than Chaeyoung it’s scary but at the same time adorable. Chaeyoung squeals in delight that the thought of asking Nayeon if she could carry Jihyeon slipped past her mind and directly went to scoop the little girl in her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Never did Chaeyoung feel so tall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love her already!” Jihyeon, using her short arms and tiny hands, pushes Chaeyoung’s face away – somehow the universe’s way to get back at her in behalf of Jeongyeon earlier at the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo stifles her laugh. “Sure, Chaeyoung.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jihyeon at the age of two already has her favorites and knows which aunt to go to. Has her arms out and about reaching for her aunt Momo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not bad,” chimes Nayeon as Momo takes Jihyeon away from Chaeyoung’s hold. Jihyeon shows clear favoritism in how high pitched her giggles are and how her short arms automatically lock themselves around Momo’s neck in attempt to embrace her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” Momo smiles cheekily. “I’m her favorite aunt!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung pouts, trailing behind Momo as they enter the house. “That’s because you’re holding the bag full of snacks!” The short forward looks back and sees Jeongyeon stuck again. “Oi! Can you stop freezing every single time! Get in here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon slaps Jeongyeon at the shoulder effectively bringing her senses back then urges her to follow them inside before she locks the door. Nayeon really won’t hesitate to lock the door even if it’s Yoo Jeongyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait up!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jihyeon wait up!” She huffs trying to catch her breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon faces the harsh reality of babysitting kids- a kid. Specifically one that’s named Jihyeon. She’s adorable, yes, but she’s also going to be the cause of Jeongyeon passing out from always being asked to run after the kid (not to mention Jihyeon’s bad habit of pulling her hair). Jeongyeon swears that this kid has a hidden vendetta against her. The way that she’s the only one that gets her hair pulled while Chaeyong and Momo gets the cute little hugs? Something is fishy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi Im Nayeon! Did you influence Jihyeon to attack me? I swear the two of you are scary similar!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s how it would be like most of the time they would visit Nayeon and Jihyeon. Every time they do, they make sure that not only Jihyeon is the one smiling all throughout but also Nayeon because there’s nothing more rewarding to see your friend content and happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The visits are always scheduled on Fridays and if they can’t make it they make way on Saturday. Life back at campus is very much the same, nothing has changed though the deduction of Nayeon from their daily lives becomes a little too loud and obvious whenever there’s a moment of silence and when they find themselves looking for a deafening voice that’s used to shout for Jeongyeon’s name asking her for a water bottle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon has to give Momo credit for fitting in her limited time to still drop by and visit Jihyeon – the kid literally sees her favorite aunt at least thrice a week and doesn’t fail to bring her snacks that she loves nibbling on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you’re not pulling an Im Nayeon card on your coach.” Says Nayeon because to see Momo visit so frequently can mean a rift in her schedule.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. Oh and did you know it’s sponsorship day for us swimmers next week!” A bright smile pops out containing high hopes and sureness at the opportunity about to be hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon lights up as well at the good news – sponsors are always a big help for a thriving athlete.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just have to sign it and I’ll be over to treat Jihyeon to a feast!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re spoiling my baby too much, Momo. That’s not good for child development.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo waves her friend off, confident that Jihyeon will grow up just fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina had been pacing around the room for quite some time now, nervous of what will be the outcome of today’s agenda mainly because her record is not on par to be considered as an automatic choice of sponsors. Had she won first on her previous match she’d be walking like breeze around the building.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she did not so here comes the consequence that’s overthinking coupled with the annoying anxiety that has decided to settle and accompany her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The selection goes as each one of them gets called to the office. You sit down with your coach and have a little chit chat to ease whatever demons are bothering you, then when the situation deems fit and appropriate, your coach would pull out a paper that contains all the terms and agreements regarding your sponsor. If he doesn’t pull one out, you’re out of the game. It’s as simple as that but the anxiety that comes before it is no joke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sponsorship is either everything or nothing to athletes. They either get out of college with someone to back them out or the struggle to keep your game.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina’s turn finally comes after one dejected girl comes out sulking and obviously trying to hold back the tears that are pooling around her eyes. Mina wishes she won’t suffer the same faith.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She goes in and sits down as planned, fidgets with her fingers because apparently there’s nothing left to do but wait for her coach to speak up and talk his way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve improved for the past months, beaten your record twice. Are you proud of that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina, during those gruesome months of torture, can finally say that she’s improved. Yes, it’s going to take the longest time possible for her to get out of an environment made toxic by herself but it’s worth it. The question proposed to her does not feel like an attack anymore, not to her insecurities at that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, yes. Mina is proud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods, still toying with her fingers because she’s not seeing any paper being pulled out right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Myoui Mina, shining jewel of the water world. That sounds nice especially when media and your peers acknowledge that, isn’t that right?” She doesn’t comment on it. “You’ve had your own share of mistakes and false starts in swimming, nothing new since everyone does that, but after all of that do you still think you’re worthy of the title?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Worth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s pretty simple to define the word: the value of something or someone. But to be worthy, Mina feels like Thor is knocking at her window asking this question at her, goes under a different definition. To be worthy is subjective. People say that she is, in fact, worthy of all of this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina is learning. To be worthy is up to her and in that quick moment of reflection, Nayeon flashes in her mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kind of am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He raises a brow in question, “Kind of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina, for one, is difficult to assess. Whatever that runs inside that mind of hers, it’s hard to crack right through it unless she herself reveals it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Taking that as a yes instead, Miss Myoui.” He says and finally pulls out the papers with the lines “Terms and Conditions” and “Official Sponsor” clearly printed in bold letters it’s hard to miss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want you to read from start to end, understand before you sign. If there’s something that you don’t agree of or understand come see me. Myoui you’ve earned this but I have to warn you that if you don’t maintain your standing now your sponsor might drop you. They don’t want incompetent athletes under their name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet Mina is being signed to this agreement which ultimately means that she’s not that incompetent. She has yet to be dropped to become one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina comes out of the office keeping the folder where the contract is safely kept, a smile that she knows won’t go anytime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A subordinate of hers approaches, brows furrowed together. “Have you seen Hirai?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She frowns as she firmly places her hands on both sides of her hips. “I haven’t seen her all day and she’s supposed to be signed by now. I’m just worried. If she misses this it’s going to take her another year to get a sponsor to back her career up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile does not last long. Momo has helped her even when she’s had to deal with Mina’s whirlwind of emotions and actions and for her to go missing on the day of sponsorship Mina does not hesitate bolting out of the building, run straight to the dorms and to Momo’s door knocking on it furiously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo? Are you there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing no response, she pulls out her phone and punches in her best friend’s number. Still, Mina knocks on the door that maybe Momo is fast asleep and hopefully she’ll wake up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person you are trying to reach is unable to take your call. Try again later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina dials the number again. Now she’s reached her room, she drops the folder on her desk – that can wait until tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person you are trying to reach is unable to take your call. Try-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking out of the dorm, Mina pathetically searches for the athlete, phone still pressed to her ear waiting for her call to come through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person you are trying to reach is unable-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She dials Momo again. Knows that it’s the biggest risk to even go near the field because seeing Nayeon is not an option.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But thankfully she doesn’t. Nayeon is nowhere around the campus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The call gets in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina sighs – god where the hell is this girl?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo do you even remember what day it is today? It’s sponsorship day! Where are you?” She vents because Mina cannot possibly think of a reason that’s more important than an athlete getting sponsored.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hears a child giggle, though faint, Mina cannot be mistaken. She presses the phone closer to her ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who are you with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then comes in a whine that confirms Mina’s suspicion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo are you with a kid?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a couple of seconds and grunts before Momo answers. “Ow! Hey- sorry Mina, yeah I am. Is everything alright there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright? Where are you I’m going there!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, um I don’t think that’s necessary.” Momo tries playing it safe. (Fails because she grunts out another Ow from Jihyeon pulling at her hair.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Text me the address or I’m not signing my sponsorship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was unfair to Momo, a call that’s low because Mina knows that Momo is well aware of how important it is to Mina getting a sponsor. Mina knows her cards now and she is playing them (though unfair) in a way she can get Momo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not doing that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo gives up because Mina won’t let this matter go that easily when they’ve both dreamed and strived to get sponsors of their own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet the turmoil still persists because not even after an hour, there’s a knock on the door and before she could race past Nayeon, the soccer player had already made her way and open the door to a puzzled Myoui Mina, head leaning to the side to get a glimpse of what’s happening inside the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon is equally shocked and perplexed to Mina’s sudden appearance at her doorstep – how did she get here? And she looks back at Momo whose eyes are both shaking and unsure of what to do with this compromise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina is pushed outside, Nayeon’s hand at her shoulder while the order closes the door behind her and whatever was running inside Nayeon’s mind right now, Mina does not want to know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me talk to Momo.” The swimmer firmly states, pushing past Nayeon’s hold on her but to no avail she gets nowhere.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Calm down I’m going to explain this,” Nayeon stresses and after months of not seeing Mina she’s back to same old feeling back when they were at her room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo can handle herself Nayeon so let me go talk to her!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s signed the contract okay!” The sudden outburst catches them both out of guard. That Mina has to step back and look Nayeon in eyes despite how difficult it is to see the person you swore moved on and forgot you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what the hell is she doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If it weren’t for the fist punching at her shoulder Nayeon would’ve noticed and felt the aggression laced in Mina’s words, how devastated and betrayed she is to see her best friend with her doing god knows what. Would’ve heard the pain that Mina swore was gone but boy does Nayeon’s presence prove her wrong. Again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you’re not going to tell me I’m going in-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So much for waiting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Momo came after she’s signed her contract this morning and – my god Mina this is not what you think it is. She came to visit Jihyeon there’s nothing going on between her and I!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then in front of her when the door closes again, a little girl is reaching her arms out to Nayeon wanting to get carried and all Mina can do is watch Nayeon nuzzle herself to the girl as if she wasn’t just shouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Jihyeon,” as if Nayeon can read her thoughts. “She was my sister’s but I adopted her after… And I swear Momo’s only intention is to visit her. Trust me I would’ve told you about Jihyeon but things didn’t go our way, did it?” And then Nayeon looks at her with pleading eyes. “Please – just calm down for the sake of Jihyeon. I don’t want her to get startled or anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In front of Myoui Mina is Im Nayeon holding a child named Jihyeon and carrying her like she’s her world and it feels like the world is out to get Mina for all her wrongdoings and for all the time she misunderstood Nayeon and Momo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon holds Jihyeon and with her free hand, she holds out to Mina effectively bringing her down back to her senses.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s a lot to take in but I want you to try and calm down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s as if Jihyeon’s presence is the source of Nayeon’s sudden calm outlook, every ounce of her previous emotions washed away with the simplest appearance of the girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I just please see Momo.” Begs Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a frown, knowing that prolonging this won’t get Nayeon anywhere, she turns her back to Mina and calls for Mom – she now stands in place of Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She told you?” asks Momo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina nods, understanding that bit of information. She grits her teeth, a scowl vibrating through. “All this time you were seeing Nayeon and you didn’t tell me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dead beat silence resonates between the two swimmers, eyes boring into each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry but I hate to say this but what the hell are you exactly going to do if I did tell you I’m seeing Nayeon? Are you going to finally talk to her? Stop hating me for being a friend to her? Mina I haven’t brought up anything about Nayeon these past months because I know how she affects you and who the hell am I to break the progress you’ve been making? I’m not selfish, Mina.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Mina is painfully aware of that. That Hirai Momo, her best friend, is anything but selfish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unless you’re ready to settle your differences with Nayeon then I will gladly make way for you. Nayeon is my friend and I hope that at least you still see her as one, if not then at least try to be. The two of you have more talking to do than you do with me. Nayeon is on a break and you won’t see her anywhere in the campus so might as well use that to your advantage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came here because I was worried you weren’t signing your sponsorship,” Mina utters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks, but you should worry about yours. Mina if you haven’t realized it yet, you have nothing to be insecure about. You have the skill, a fucking sponsor, and Nayeon. God do you even know how that kid raps about you all night when you first got along?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo hopes she’s getting her point across with all this stupid talk that she’s throwing out because she’s done and putting an end to this waiting game between her friends. And as much as she knows, Mina is well. Better but still rough at the edges. And Nayeon is more than capable of accepting Mina into her life again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both are.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if it’s any consolation to you, Nayeon won’t be going anywhere. You know where to find her I just hope you don’t chicken out again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The contract had been read and signed, passed and now Mina’s left with the concern that’s Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina hates how Momo can always find her weakest point and use that to twist the situation around her and she hates how Momo is so selfless that when Mina had approached her earlier today to talk, Momo had smiled at her – taken aback of how genuine it is as if they weren’t close to crying yesterday. Yet when Momo had pulled her in for a hug, Mina can never really hate her best friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And honestly after all the shit she’s put Momo through, if it were still a thing, Mina would print Momo a certificate that says Best Best Friend and even put it in a frame for Momo to hang somewhere in her room. If only they were still kids that the only problem that they have to mind is what games they’re going to play for the entire day and to not get in trouble that’s going to get them scolded for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo had only hinted that before they graduate and go on their separate careers, she’d like to see Mina and Nayeon together without the unnecessary tears and words being spit at each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was… too much. At least for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pause,” Jeongyeon momentarily suspends her hand from shoving the last handful of chips to her mouth. “Mina was here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think she’s going to get back with Nayeon?” Chaeyoung takes the opportunity to steal the bag of chips and dumps all of its remains into her mouth. Jeongyeon kicks her at the leg. “Ow! That hurts you know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no getting back when there is no relationship to begin with, is there?” Jeongyeon turns to Nayeon who was sprawled out on the other side of the couch, exhausted from getting Jihyeon to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we did kiss…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“BIG PAUSE!” Jeongyeon twists her body to face Nayeon – quite literally because this is the first time she’s heard about this and then she looks back at Chaeyoung, having history of keeping secrets from her that only she and Nayeon knows. “Do you know about this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung denies, face as confused as Jeongyeon. “No? Do you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“THE TWO OF YOU KISSED!” the midfielder fusses, arms up in the air to exaggerate how betrayed and shocking it is that Nayeon was able to keep this much of information all to herself and not tell a single soul?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god Nayeon,” Jeongyeon frowns, annoyed at the revelation. “The two of you kissed!” She repeats, eyes wide to emphasize how much of a big deal that is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Since the two of you are still living the high school love line and won’t see what’s supposed to be seen, the kiss literally hold the two of you together! I mean, for Mina to kiss you, god Nayeon you are so dumb!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why the hell am I dumb?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung momentarily pauses to watch two of her friends dance around vague words and ideas, somehow distasteful because it should’ve been obvious by now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What Jeongyeon is trying to say: Mina isn’t the type of girl that goes around kissing a dumb soccer player and for her to actually do it, she must be into that dumb soccer player. And yes, I mean you Nayeon. For someone who claims that Mina doesn’t love you anymore, or in any way want you around, we both know you still have a shot at this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon frowns, arm resting on top of her forehead that very much feels like the world is weighing her down. “You both know what happened: tears, pain, and more tears.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s because you two are acting like high school students!” Jeongyeon perks up. “Two of you didn’t talk the right things out, fell into a hole of miscommunication and wrong signals, and here we currently have two athletes pining with each other. Seriously stop acting as if the two of you ended on a very very bad note when in fact the two of you could still have the much needed reconciliation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not a second passes and a throw pillow that’s sized twice as big as Chaeyoung’s head hits Jeongyeon straight in the face, courtesy of Im Nayeon at the other side of the couch. “I prefer you as the emotional support friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon throws the pillow back at the athlete. “And I prefer you not crying over about Mina when you could be holding her hand and doing all the stupid shit couples do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you know how quick Jeongyeon was to shit your crying face after you left campus? Good times.” Chaeyoung adds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you Jeongyeon!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The midfielder shrugs, unfazed. “Should be Mina not me, just saying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you seriously not going to at least shove it in my face that I’m a bad friend?” Mina has been following Momo around the building and no it’s not because she’s feeling insecure or any of that negativity rather to further confirm her resolve (that’s already been confirmed twice by Momo) between their friendship. You know, just to be sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo snickers. She slings an arm around Mina’s shoulder and pulls her in for a side hug as they trudge together out of the pool area. “Will you stop if I say yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Momo,” Mina whines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you already, we’re good and you’re good. Now if you don’t stop whining, you’ll have to sponsor my snacks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like that Mina is dragged towards the nearest convenience store with an empty basket in hand while Momo takes the lead in surveying the snack aisle and dumping her favored snacks into the basket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t even like these snacks!” Mina retorts as the amount of snacks pile up the more they spend time in this aisle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo smiles at her, and knows – gosh she just knows that Momo is up to no good again and she hates that she can’t see through her best friend’s mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of these are not for me,” She starts and then dumps another box of soft biscuits into the basket. Looking into the pile of snacks, they’re mostly chewable and soft enough for babies to consume. “This is for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo nods. “Yeah, for you to deliver to Jihyeon because she loves all of these.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re setting me up again! And you’re doing it again in a convenience store, do you ever change?” Mina pouts and another box goes into the basket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the name of love? No, I don’t think I will. So you better drop some snacks for Nayeon in there while we’re at it because we’ll be visiting them today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I don’t want to go?” Mina challenges, setting the basket down to cross her arms over her chest as if to assert authority.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo pulls a card and Mina can’t believe that Momo had the time and hands to steal her credit card. God, so that’s why she was pulling Mina into her earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your choice,” Momo grins knowing that she’s won another battle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are unbelievable!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you are going to meet and play with the best kid so might as well win not only her heart but the other one as well,” Momo giggles. “Oh sorry, you’ve already won it before. My bad! I guess it’s just Jihyeon that you need to woo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Mina thought that Momo is harmless. That she would drag her anywhere but danger but here she is at the cashier holding two equally filled plastic bags as Momo pays for the bill with her stolen credit card. Not that the card is anything special, or it’s literally a black card because that’s how Mina grew up with. She’d drop these bags all at once but Momo just had to be sneaky with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which then brings the two of them inside a cab personally hailed by Momo (had an irritable time with it because of all the annoying grin and looks that Momo kept sending her way) and off they go to Nayeon’s house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina had been here before and to find herself walking down the same path, just with two plastic bags on each hand this time around, there is that looming tension around the air and she isn’t sure if it’s strictly within her radius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo knocks once, twice, sending Mina into a spiraling panic that would cost her another up front with Im Nayeon. The door creaks open and Nayeon emerges from behind, happy, upon seeing Momo. Happy is then replaced with uncertainty the quick moment she catches of Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nevertheless, Nayeon lets the two in and even offers to carry the bags each on Mina’s hands once Momo had announced they were all snacks for Jihyeon to nibble on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Nayeon slips her hand into Mina’s, wary but it gets the task done and now she carries the other bag. “You two didn’t have to buy so much for Jihyeon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s my favorite kid anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A cry echoes through the rooms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s her.” Says Momo as she spares Mina a look compelling her to follow behind and situate herself within the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon emerges again, cries have died down, and Jihyeon is perched on her arm while the other is busy wiping the tears and mucus that had trailed down the little girl’s face. Although messy, Mina finds the whole act endearing that reminds her of home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jihyeon calm down!” Nayeon giggles, amused at how the kid can instantaneously transform from a crying baby with a runny nose to a hyper jumping ball of sunshine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo stifles her laugh, carefully watches as the scene unfold before her. With Jihyeon staring up curiously at Mina with her doe eyes that are still fresh from crying, the kid holds a staring contest with the least kid-friendly person in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina is not good with kids. At all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looks at Momo for support, anything that could help her with the undying head on staring contest with the child. But to no avail Momo could only leave her alone with Nayeon and Jihyeon as her phone had unceremoniously rang and that it was from their coach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi?” Mina says unsure and far from knowledgeable from the hows of communicating with a two-year-old.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To even further prove her inexperience with children, Jihyeon reaches out and tries to climb on Mina’s lap hoping that the pretty stranger would carry her. Mina helplessly struggles to hold the child properly and it does more damage when Jihyeon pulls at her hair to get leverage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nayeon?” She calls for help because she does not want to be accountable if anything happens to Jihyeon. A bad example would be dropping the kid to the ground because of her expertise in being a bad babysitter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little help?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entertainment can come later. In her struggle to hold Jihyeon properly, Nayeon comes to her side to aid to her lapses with childcare. Removing and then placing Mina’s arms to the right place, the swimmer now holds the child in her arms free from hair pulling and the uncomfortable position they were in earlier. Thanks to Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you want to laugh,” Mina frowns, a pout on her lips. She can easily tell that Nayeon is holding a fit, smiling a little too wide at her and a hand pinching at her thigh in a miserable attempt to calm herself down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No no keep it up.” Yet Nayeon’s lips twitch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mama,” Jihyeon calls, doe eyes still trained on Mina and hands gripping the athlete’s collar with her small hands to keep herself steady and close with the pretty stranger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes baby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm pretty!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unlike her reserved Mama, Jihyeon dives straight and noses Mina’s neck, finding comfort and warmth now that the pretty stranger holds her closer. Mina, surprised by this, stares at Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is,” Nayeon confirms laced with admiration and obvious portrayal that not a day did she not think about of the athlete. It’s still there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Her name is Mina, Jihyeon.” She says softly. “She’s really pretty, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peeking with one eye while the other remains pressed to Mina’s neck, Jihyeon speaks, “Mina prettier!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon grins. “Looks like Momo won’t be Jihyeon’s favorite aunt anymore.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says who?” Momo chirps, finished with her phone call. She carries two boxes of biscuits, one already opened and between her fingers ready to be gulped down while the other is pit between her underarm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Says Jihyeon.” Nayeon rolls her eyes and then snatches the unopened box from the swimmer, shakes it once then rips the glued parts apart effectively gaining Jihyeon’s attention. The child happily receives the bite sized biscuit, nibbling on it as her baby hand holds onto the biscuit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, Mina should’ve asked for Momo to hold Jihyeon instead yet she holds onto the kid. Even strokes her hair gently from time to time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina is not an expert with kids yet when Jihyeon shifts and tries to climb back up again, Mina lets her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to get really jealous if I’m not your favorite aunt anymore, Jihyeon.” Momo jokes, pounding at her chest as if to prove a point to a clueless kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jihyeon loves good people.” Nayeon states.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Jeongyeon isn’t it? She was pulling at her hair the moment the kid saw her. My god she even ignored Chaeyoung until she gave her a treat and a piggyback.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was a fun time for them, a good laugh coupled with shrieks of pain from all the hair pulling caused by the little kid.  Jeongyeon was unfortunately the receiver of it with Chaeyoung closely following behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should’ve seen them Mina!” Momo slumps down beside her best friend, hand automatically caressing the kid’s soft cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo holds out both of her hands to Jihyeon, an invitation for her to switch (and maybe a trial to prove that she’s still Jihyeon’s favorite aunt). When Jihyeon stays and nuzzles even closer to Mina, it was the first battle the Mina had waged and won easily. Not that Momo was slightly upset that the child was quick to change favorites like changing her diapers, but that was such an honest and strong answer from a kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then not long after lounging at the couch, they had gone out to take Jihyeon for a walk at the park. Nayeon occasionally lets Jihyeon walk on her two feet, giving the child freedom to steer their group to whichever direction she’s going to waddle to, watches her with a tender gaze that Mina assumes only a mother would have. She doesn’t fully understand but when Nayeon speeds up in hurry before Jihyeon could trip, tells her that it’s okay and even kisses the top of her head, Mina can learn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo thinks she’s served her purpose, the steady and sole focus of Mina on the loving duo in front of them instead of her emotions eating her up. As if in deep thoughts, Momo presumes Mina is going to give it a try at least.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time that Jihyeon gets visitors it’s on a Saturday afternoon with noisy Chaeyoung crashing into the house effectively destroying the peaceful slumber of a child and a still reserved Mina following behind the smaller athlete. She says she’s going in place of Momo but Chaeyoung knows better. But she lets Mina have her quiet fun.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon later excuses herself to the grocery to buy necessities for Jihyeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tell Chaeyoung or Jeongyeon that Mina’s only been here for the third time and that she’s only held Jihyeon twice she’d be making a fuss of how brutally unfair and honest the kid is when it comes to her favorites. Her hope of being Jihyeon’s favorite aunt slowly fading in the dark as new competition rises up in the name of Myoui Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She has to double take because Mina is in no serious way not awkward handling the child yet the child reaches out for her again and again that leaves the athlete carrying her, hugging her, and even accompanying the child on the carpeted floor because Jihyeon had pulled her down with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’re currently playing with building blocks and Chaeyoung has her fun with keeping Jihyeon busy nibbling on her favorite biscuit. It’s adorable, almost like feeding a baby rabbit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you and Nayeon coming along?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung is not one to be discreet. If Nayeon danced along vagueness, Chaeyoung would be the one stopping the music to tell Nayeon not to. It’s funny when Nayeon is the one whose usually direct and forward with her thoughts (Chaeyoung still remembers that one time Nayeon had hurt her feelings but all is good now) yet when it comes to Myoui Mina it’s like Nayeon is reborn as someone uncharacteristically new. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not close.” Mina answer simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung slowly bobs. “And Jihyeon? Don’t tell me you also bribed the kid with snacks? Momo did just that and won her favor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina giggles, shaking her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t believe I have another aunt to compete with! Did you know how this kid pushed my face away the first time we met?” says Chaeyoung but contrary to her words she gazes at Jihyeon with fondness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jihyeon is very lovable.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So is Im Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina was right that they were going too fast. Though they didn’t crash and burn, she wouldn’t be here if they did. And all the times Mina had argued with her heart and mind, it taught her to believe that this time around they have to take it slow for things to fall perfectly like how autumn leaves do.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh it’s just you today?” Nayeon holds the door open for Mina, letting her in as she usually would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every time Nayeon does and Mina walks in, it’s a new chance for Mina to get to know Nayeon better. And every time Mina walks past Nayeon all she sees is a woman that’s certainly defeated a handful of demons, painted her walls new but never brought them down. It’s better that way, Nayeon can settle with it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s asked for a friend in Mina, a fantastic job in doing so she may  add, but as her visits became frequent to the point that she no longer needs Momo by her side or any of their friends, that Mina can sit comfortably at the couch, Nayeon hopelessly wishes that Mina is here for something more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jihyeon is asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At times like this Nayeon would prepare a snack that would hopefully last them for one whole movie while Mina shifts around the couch until she’s on her side, an arm propped to support her head while the other surfs through the channels and available movies. They both can’t say that this is a permanent thing, or a casual one, because they’ve only done this twice. This being the second time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first one was with their three other friends. Things were different back then, much like now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Nayeon would sit one pillow away from Mina, just in case. Because the last time they were alone, quoting what Mina had said “things didn’t end well” and Nayeon won’t risk such a thing again. If only it turned out to be like this before. But here they are and no complaints leave Nayeon’s mouth, only crisp and crunchy nachos enter her mouth instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s training going for you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is Nayeon’s to-go question whenever she would find herself alone with Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s tiring, the usual.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is one of the many common responses that Mina would reply with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They let the conversation die just like that, enough that they don’t fall into their own territory of solidarity. For now, they can exist as two individuals that find comfort in each other without much talk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Nayeon knows that talking would get them to places they want to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fast forward to another week, Nayeon takes Jihyeon and Mina on another walk at the park. Nothing too out of the blue. Nothing out of their relationship.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Earlier before coming to Nayeon’s house, Momo had been pestering Mina, annoyingly doting on her and nagging that it’s about time she and Nayeon get over this whole phase of acting like ex-girlfriends when they aren’t in the first place. Though Momo is right in every sense, Mina is content that even though the progress is slow, they’re here together. That was something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s currently past 4 PM. The shadows from the tree casts over the greenery, perfect for setting up a picnic blanket which Mina takes care of while Nayeon lulls Jihyeon to sleep in the afternoon haze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One would say that from afar they look ideal, which is true to some extent. Two supposedly lovers enjoying the afternoon with their child. Ideal, yes, but then again only to the extent if it were real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What matters is the now. That even after convincing herself that she no longer deserves to be with Mina (cracks deeper with each visit that Mina takes), Nayeon has not changed one thing that is still fawning over how her beautiful constellations are perfectly aligned. She sucks in a gasp when Mina flutters her eyes to her direction and again Nayeon is back to wandering around the large scape that is not Mina. She’s not nervous, just caught off guard is all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She thanks Jihyeon for existing between them, a bridge that still connects them together and an excuse for the athlete to keep coming back and visit. Would rather use this as free pass instead of coming up with ridiculous ideas to keep showing at Im Nayeon’s front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When are you going back to campus?” Mina leans back, both her arms behind her to support her weight. She watches the quiet and peaceful rise and fall of Jihyeon’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some time. I’ll let them miss me first before I do, you know get a taste of how great of accompany I am.” Nayeon jokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sun should be gazing down at them. To Mina the sun specifically hits its rays to Nayeon, swears that the she glows even more with the sun peeking through the rustling branches and leaves highlighting the best parts of Nayeon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to miss Jihyeon after this,” confesses Nayeon with solemn eyes. All breaks have to come to an end unfortunately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know when you’re a kid and you get attached to something then all you do is sulk and cry after that something gets taken away from you? It’s pretty much the same with Jihyeon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina knows that feeling well, looks at the tender Nayeon stroking Jihyeon’s hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you and your sponsor? How’s it coming along?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina lights up, a grin on her lips. “It’s good,” she starts, a little too excited to share all at once. “I’ve got offers aside from the first one I got and they’re suggesting that I train for the National team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like I’ll be seeing my favorite swimmer on telly soon, won’t I? I’m proud of you. You’ve come so far Mina.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods. Yeah, she did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t forget me and Jihyeon if you get too popular and you have everyone sending heart eyes at you. I’m gonna have to brag that I know you personally,” She winks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only if that didn’t paint red on Mina’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Myoui Mina and Im Nayeon, the bestest of friends! Together they conquer the sports industry,” Nayeon daydreams, a not too farfetched idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got one mistake there, superstar.” Mina comments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knows that she wants more than just bestest of friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not that it matters as long as we’re together, yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knows they can’t stay just as the bestest of friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have this all planned out don’t you? I can’t believe I’m friends with a sociopath!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon chuckles. “You’re friends with Im Nayeon, someone who likes you a lot – she’s kind of a pain in the ass but you gotta deal with that until she dies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like me a lot?” Mina bares the gummiest smile she could, turning to face Im Nayeon, vibrant hazel eyes coming to life with the sun to amplify it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah and it’s kind of a loophole with the bestest of friends agenda that I have in mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly do you have in mind?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon stares at her – at her moles especially the one that’s around her lips. That Mina knows because it’s the same look Nayeon had back at the rooftop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we discuss this over some convenience store noodles instead?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not now,” Nayeon puts on another smile, thrilled that this is steering to the right path. “A little later? After I put Jihyeon to bed. Mommy duties.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, mommy duties.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They are not going to say it out loud that they’ve managed to set themselves a date.  Instead they agree on it wordlessly, just giggles and a couple of exchanged looks that hold the same sentiment as the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It puts a smile to her face to see Nayeon all giddy and smiley as she puts on her university jacket, remember the same smile when Nayeon had gotten into the soccer team. She’s arrived an hour earlier after Nayeon had called, thinking it was an emergency concerning Jihyeon, Nayeon’s aunt came to the rescue. But Nayeon is bad at trying to make it look like she isn’t going on a date.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not out there to impress your date?” She says referring to the simple get up that Nayeon settled for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door is already open and Nayeon looks back, “She’s not the type to get impressed by stupid things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your kind of stupid is impressive, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiles, no way denying that it isn’t. “Thanks for coming tonight. I really appreciate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything for family, Nayeon. Now go,” She shoos the soccer player out of the door. “You don’t want to keep your date waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Certainly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both waited far too long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey Mina,” Nayeon cringes at her obvious enthusiasm to finally see Mina. “You’re still at the dorm? Alright I’m on my way there anyway. I’ll wait for you at the lounge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(And yes, Nayeon finally has Mina’s number saved in her phone.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The breeze hits Nayeon again tonight. It’s light almost as if how things are going her way, from the awkward visits to walks in the park that agonizingly challenges her not to hold Mina’s hand every time they brush against each other. Her steps are light and bouncy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The campus greets her again. Soon she’ll be here running and training again like the old times with Jeongyeon and Chaeyoung. But for now, she races herself to the dorms, greets the security at the front desk that still remembers who she is (frankly Nayeon doesn’t remember him), and then she’s at the pantry to steal Jeongyeon’s labelled bottle water. She tucks it back in maybe Jeongyeon won’t notice she’s had half of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She considers knocking at her friends’ door but knowing the ruckus they could stir especially when Mina comes around at the lounge looking like someone who holds Nayeon’s heart, she decides against it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I hope you don’t mind convenience store noodles,” She greets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t say I’m not tired of it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a million-watt smile emitting from Nayeon, just like how she did at the supposedly dinner party, she takes Mina by the wrist and the flashes starts again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> (“I knew it! Something is going on between that swimmer and Nayeon!” Sana pumps her hand up – another correct intuition under her name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My radar never fails me, my gosh.” She says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your radar never fails you because?” Jeongyeon asks coming in late missing all the good stuff that’s happened between her two friends. “Sana last time I checked, you said Dahyun is into you but it turns out that archery girl is all about her sport and zero of women.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you saying I’m not credible?” Sana challenges, a brow raised trying to assert that she is correct.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got any proof?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That swimmer friend of Nayeon-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jeongyeon interrupts just in case she misunderstands, “Mina?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, her. Bet you she’ll come home wearing your friend’s letterman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sana puts dibs on it already. With the night breeze only getting colder and that Mina’s getup is poor to insufficient to keep her warm, it’s a win-win situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your friend Chaeyoung has to give me Dahyun’s number if I’m right.” She smirks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As if you’re going to win,” Jeongyeon taunts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me Jeongyeon, I’m hardly wrong.”)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The streets grow colder with each passing minute. Nayeon pulls Mina closer then and when the swimmer asks if they are near the “convenience store” that Nayeon had planned to take Mina, Nayeon would simply answer that a detour is essential before going to the main event tonight. (Or Nayeon is making an excuse to hold Mina longer and Mina is glad to tolerate this kind of behavior.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve always been curious if you think in Japanese, Korean or English,” Nayeon pipes up again with her bizarre yet creative questions, and Mina feels as though that they are slowly falling into the position now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that was a weird question, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” says Mina in a feathery tone. “Are we even headed the right direction?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They might have passed a few convenience stores along the way, purposely ignoring the well-lit signs that offers a buy one take one promo or sometimes a discount. The night is still young, or so Mina concludes without checking her watch, and Nayeon wants to spend each tick and tock holding Mina.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pass dimly lit alleyways giggling to each other, playful shoulder bumps whenever Nayeon cracks another question, and all the things that cliché flicks have to offer involving two kids in love, then when the light finally shines upon them on the street, their hands are holding each. Fingers intertwined.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night is young for them to be shaken out of their shared reality, fleeting moments that they both will remember as the starting foundation of something new. Whether it was the heart fluttering glow on Mina that had a massive effect on Nayeon or the pull that keeps Mina in orbit whenever Nayeon would stare at her, they decide it’s best and safe to say that in this reality they exist as one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when Nayeon had finally held the door open for Mina to saunter inside the convenience store, their reality is proven real and nothing out of a sci-fi fantasy movie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are three cups of instant noodles in front of them, though unhealthy, Nayeon has to have two cups for herself both flavored shrimp. A little spicy to the palette but nonetheless she can share it with Mina who settled for a chicken noodle cup. It’s the basic flavor but who is she to judge?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sit outside among the other patrons that are either enjoying a quick swig of beer or just passing time by for no other reason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tell the Mina before that she’d end up sharing a meal with for decent amount of time with Im Nayeon she would most probably have to rethink her decisions in life of how could she break the rules that she has set within herself. The same rules that have kept her boxed and caged, left with no more room for growth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?” Nayeon asks midslurp of her noodles when Mina gets up from her seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buying you banana milk,” she simply answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She downs the noodles and dabs on the residuals around her mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not exactly the best combination to go with.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still your favorite.” Mina argues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah it is – alright buy two for me. I think it’ll help rinse the flavor off my tongue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina heads in the store again, a small smile perched on her lips as she scans through the different assortments of beverages lined up. She takes two banana milk out and a can of decaf iced coffee, totally not the best combination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Mina comes back out after paying for the drinks, she finds her seat shamelessly dragged right next to Nayeon’s and if she remembers correct her seat is supposed to be at the other end of the table. But she lets it slide the same way she’s let Nayeon held her hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your chair teleported over here,” Nayeon lies in no effort of covering up the obvious. “I was surprised to find it here beside mine actually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Setting down the beverages, Mina takes the seat wordlessly then stabs the banana milk open with a straw before handing it out to Nayeon. “I trust you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They look at each other, not even pass five seconds they burst into a fit of giggles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flashes didn’t show Mina this part of her with Nayeon – the one where they share infectious laughter coupled with Nayeon choking on her drink, where Mina can finally breathe without the fear of not being enough-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the best I swear,” Nayeon says after a serious fit of coughing from her drink that went down the wrong pipe, Mina patting at her back to help get rid of the small coughs that follow after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you considered staying by Nayeon’s side, you know, just in case she gets into trouble or choke on her drink again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can’t help but smile at the implication of Nayeon’s words. “Are you offering me a job?” Mina jokes back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not exactly a job – being with me, but if it is will you apply for it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina pretends to think it through, being with Nayeon. The last time she was so calculating with everything that revolved around the soccer player, it ends up as a whole mess of miscalculations of tears, pain, and more tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not sure,” Mina drags. “Are there any privileges that comes with it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which one? The bestest of friends privilege or the girlfriend privilege?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina is fazed, surprised with the upfront confrontation as Nayeon patiently waits for her answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you suggest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whilst Nayeon is having a surge of confidence that she does not know where is coming from, she’s undoubtedly having a violent turmoil inside of her to pop the question out in the open. Said turmoil is the cause of her getting lost in Mina again, eyes locking on the constellation readily available in front of her. Unknown to Mina, she patiently waits for Nayeon to answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon starts again. At the forehead, the two at her nose, then the remaining three around supple and tempting lips, her own heart picking a fight on who’s faster: the way her eyes flicker from Mina’s eyes to her mole or the loud pounding at her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nayeon,” Mina calls, an attempt to get Nayeon back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” she says almost breathless just from the beauty in front of her. Nayeon blinks several times, a pause then, “The girlfriend privilege is the best,” she says trying to contain the eye contact with Mina, carefully observes if she’s still on safe ground and not marching haphazardly to dangerous territory. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should really take me to more dates before I become your girlfriend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ideally Nayeon would’ve picked it up from there, get the whole agenda out straight (in a way she did) and that she would love to take Mina on a lot of dates but Nayeon doesn’t reply, not even when it’s time for them to go. She only holds Mina’s hand again the second time that night with their fingers intertwined as it was before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that Sana has won Dahyun’s number and Jeongyeon has to pull her cards for Chaeyoung and Dahyun to not murder her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina comes home wearing Nayeon’s letterman that night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Momo gasps, an exaggerated one but can you really blame her if Myoui Mina shows up at practice wearing Nayeon’s letterman? The exact same letterman that has a bold print of ‘IM’ at the back with their obnoxious university logo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the other side of the campus another audible gasp comes out from Jeongyeon, hand clasped at her mouth as she stares, squints her eyes, at the photo Momo sent her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Jeongyeon repeats the same way Momo had, not without sending the same photo to Son Chaeyoung and Minatozaki Sana.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Shibezaki]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:02 I told you so!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:03 I expect Dahyun’s number before lunch. No more, no less.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Shibezaki changed your nickname to “Tall, blonde, not gorgeous”</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[Tall, blonde, not gorgeous]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:03 Fuck you, Sana!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Shibezaki]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:03 Ew no</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:03 I prefer Dahyun 😉</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung is quick to whip her phone out when it vibrated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>[David]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:06 OH MY GOD</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Goliath]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:06 SAME?!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:06 But god I didn’t know Nayeon’s game is good</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[David]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:09 Jesus Jeong how can you not?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:10 Nayeon literally had Momo</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:10 the HIRAI MOMO on bed</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:10 But that’s not important</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:10 I TOLD YOU SHE HAS A THING FOR JAPANESE CHICKS</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[Goliath]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:11 THEY’RE LITERALLY GIRLFRIENDS NOW</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:11 OH MY GOD JIHYEON HAS TWO MOMMIES NOW</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:11 THAT’S SO CUTE</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[David]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>9:13 This is literally Nayeon’s biggest comeback</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung is not entirely wrong because when lunchtime rolls around and Jeongyeon had dragged her to the pool building where they’re supposed to meet Momo, Nayeon beat them to it as she’s already batting her eyelashes to Mina like a lovesick fool with Momo at the side having to experience being an unwanted thirdwheel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi!” Jeongyeon loudly calls as she they speed up to meet with the trio. She gives Nayeon a piece of her mind, a quick slap at the shoulder and then knuckles digging on top of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First you don’t tell us that you two kissed and now you two are going out?!” Jeongyeon complains all the while holding Nayeon down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You two kissed?” Momo questions almost accusatory, eyes wide feeling betrayed that she has to hear it from Jeongyeon’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It becomes a pointing game when Mina directs her own query to Nayeon, “You told them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So that’s why you were so close to losing your shit after the movie night! I should’ve known!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t because you were sleeping!” Mina retorts with her arms now crossed atop her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chaeyoung sighs, “Can we please just sit down together for lunch? Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The small forward takes it into her own hands to peel Jeongyeon off Nayeon, albeit hard she managed to do so and off they went first towards the cafeteria with Momo following behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon and Mina lags behind, they don’t mind really even if they send them glares to hurry it up. With the letterman neatly folded and tucker under her arm, Mina takes Nayeon’s hand on the other. (Realistically their friends would’ve lost it right then and there but they opt to bite the inside of their cheek to stop themselves from fawning over the two.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does this mean you’re returning to campus?” Mina asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nayeon shrugs unsure. She smiles now that she can swing their hands.  “In a week or so. Kinda want to make the most out of this break with Jihyeon. Will you be visiting this week?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina bites her lip then asks, “Do you want me to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo playfully scowls at them, making funny faces as if cringing at the show of subtle affection. “Just a reminder to not make out in front of Jihyeon alright? We have to keep things PG around here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mina rolls her eyes, “Says the one who keeps telling me to get a sex life?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Momo sticks her tongue out, then sends Nayeon a quick wink. “I’m sure Nayeon won’t mind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My god, Momo!” Jeongyeon cries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>/</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The flashes first showed Mina how it is being with Im Nayeon – a whole relationship that is ahead of what they are and what they could be at the moment. It was both terrifying at the same time outrageous that with a simple touch she could take it or break it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did both anyways.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And if the flashes first showed her the whys before being with Im Nayeon, still it would’ve scared her nonetheless. Mina thinks that she would’ve risked it either way. She would’ve gotten hurt the same way because unfortunately that’s how love works. But with their fingers intertwined and the smile on their faces that won’t go anytime soon, love is worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fighting her demons is a process, an on-going and long one that is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting hurt is also part of the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But if it meant growth and breaking out from the cage she’s trapped herself into, out of the ocean currents that only pull her down and drown her, and to the arms of Im Nayeon at the end then Mina is glad to go through it all.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>fin.</em><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys! This is the end of this fic and I'd like to thank all of you for reading my first TWICE fic! I really enjoy reading your comments! 'Til my next fic, I guess?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>